I found out on Friday my grandpa had a mild heart attack and he also had pumonia and fluid on his lungs, they took a tube and tried to drain the fluid. My cuz Paul told me this on Friday night. He also said the docs said if he makes it though the first 24 - 48 hrs he will be alright, and he was opening his eyes when he left to come home.
I woke up to my father in law calling for me at 6am Saturday morning, my cuz Paul was on the phone and the first words to come from him where, "He's gone Tina, Grandpa's gone"
At first I was like Wa? In shock and just waking up not a good combo. He told me again and thats when I called out " Noooo " and started crying. My husband was on his way home from work at this point so I couldn't call him. So I sat and talked with Paul, we talked a bit about our childhood and how much fun we had with Grandpa. Memories we wont forget.
I sat around yesterday after I got off the phone with Paul, I jump'd in game for a bit on City Of Heroes. I had everyone chattin with me and did some teaming. To help me pass the time while I wait to find out the news of what's what tomarrow.
I am now gonna write a letter to my grandpa, things I have told him over the years but I wanted to write it again. I just feel like the need to get it out again.
Thanks to everyone that reads this, now I leave you with the letter.
Dear Grandpa,
I know over the years I have told you how much you mean to me. Yes you are my Grandfather but to me your more, your the father I have always wanted in life, I am proud your my grandfather but to me your also my father and for that I am even proud to call you dad. The years you raised me with grandma are ones I will never forget and the best years of my childhood. Grandma always tells me, " Your not only our grand-daughter but to us you are our daughter as well, and we will always love you. " I also remember when Little Paul and I used to play for hours in the yard and get dirty, the good old days when we caused so much trouble but you still loved us all the same.
As I will always love you Grandpa as I do Grandma too, you and grandma have always been the world to me and you still are, you both watched over me even when it was from a distance, and you still do. Even when I wasn't close by we always called one another day or night. I will always have great memories, I know we all will, ones that will never leave us. Your not gone Grandpa and your never gonna be forgotton, you are missed, but to me your still here, your the angel that stands behind me and will guide me the right direction, on where I need to go in life. As you will also be everyone else's angel too.
I will always love you Grandpa, you have been the best dad in the world, to me and to everyone, we will always love you.
Love always,
Your Grand-daughter & Daughter,
Tina
xo
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Bad Blogger, Once Again!
I know I know, Bad bad bad.
Thing is the past 2 months with work has been hell!
Yes I said it!
HELL!
H-E- Double hockey stick!
Thing is work wont slow down till prolly feb earily March at the latest.
It totally BITES!
Today was the start of the huge semi sale.
For the last few months we been dealing with Christmas
I am so ready to say, screw it all cause I been so freakin tired.
I been pullin full weeks here, sure its only anywhere from 35-40hrs a week but working 5-7 days a week to get that time is killer!
I am so tired!
Last night we where there until 1am setting up for this stupid sale!
I can't even feel my feet, i think my brain leak'd outta my head like a month ago.
My housework hasn't been touched because I been so tired.
Don't help matters when no one does shit to help.
Top things off the littlest of thing drive me crazy and piss me off to no end. I been snapping easy .. for example when my husband ask'd me a question the other day I was zoned off cause i was tired, he said, "hun you hear me?" I go " Huh? wha? " he ask'd me again and I didn't know the answer to it so I totally spazzed out and what "what the fuck ya want?" and at the time I was stressed cause work called me on my ONLY day off to tell me about some stupid floorset up that was to be done that no one knew about! >_< Ya way to fucking go stress me out when I can do NOTHING about it cause I am at home! Riiiiiiiiiiiiight!
To top things off sure hubbys dad lives here, i don't mind sometimes... but I do miss running around in just a t-shirt when I feel like it, I can't stand the mess thats left in the kitchen or in the house for that matter when NO ONE takes the oppertunity to help, or when I am going to get the snow off the car for hubby b4 he goes to work or get hubbys coffee made or make him food I WANT TO DO IT DAMN IT! pisses me off to no end! MY JOB! I try my best even when I am tired! dang I miss being at home! >:(
anyways I just needed to rant, now i think i need sleep
~NOIRE~
Thing is the past 2 months with work has been hell!
Yes I said it!
HELL!
H-E- Double hockey stick!
Thing is work wont slow down till prolly feb earily March at the latest.
It totally BITES!
Today was the start of the huge semi sale.
For the last few months we been dealing with Christmas
I am so ready to say, screw it all cause I been so freakin tired.
I been pullin full weeks here, sure its only anywhere from 35-40hrs a week but working 5-7 days a week to get that time is killer!
I am so tired!
Last night we where there until 1am setting up for this stupid sale!
I can't even feel my feet, i think my brain leak'd outta my head like a month ago.
My housework hasn't been touched because I been so tired.
Don't help matters when no one does shit to help.
Top things off the littlest of thing drive me crazy and piss me off to no end. I been snapping easy .. for example when my husband ask'd me a question the other day I was zoned off cause i was tired, he said, "hun you hear me?" I go " Huh? wha? " he ask'd me again and I didn't know the answer to it so I totally spazzed out and what "what the fuck ya want?" and at the time I was stressed cause work called me on my ONLY day off to tell me about some stupid floorset up that was to be done that no one knew about! >_< Ya way to fucking go stress me out when I can do NOTHING about it cause I am at home! Riiiiiiiiiiiiight!
To top things off sure hubbys dad lives here, i don't mind sometimes... but I do miss running around in just a t-shirt when I feel like it, I can't stand the mess thats left in the kitchen or in the house for that matter when NO ONE takes the oppertunity to help, or when I am going to get the snow off the car for hubby b4 he goes to work or get hubbys coffee made or make him food I WANT TO DO IT DAMN IT! pisses me off to no end! MY JOB! I try my best even when I am tired! dang I miss being at home! >:(
anyways I just needed to rant, now i think i need sleep
~NOIRE~
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Yule Lore
Yule Lore (December 21st)
Yule, (pronounced EWE-elle) is when the dark half of the year relinquishes to the light half. Starting the next morning at sunrise, the sun climbs just a little higher and stays a little longer in the sky each day. Known as Solstice Night, or the longest night of the year, much celebration was to be had as the ancestors awaited the rebirth of the Oak King, the Sun King, the Giver of Life that warmed the frozen Earth and made her to bear forth from seeds protected through the fall and winter in her womb. Bonfires were lit in the fields, and crops and trees were "wassailed" with toasts of spiced cider.
Children were escorted from house to house with gifts of clove spiked apples and oranges which were laid in baskets of evergreen boughs and wheat stalks dusted with flour. The apples and oranges represented the sun, the boughs were symbolic of immortality, the wheat stalks portrayed the harvest, and the flour was accomplishment of triumph, light, and life. Holly, mistletoe, and ivy not only decorated the outside, but also the inside of homes. It was to extend invitation to Nature Sprites to come and join the celebration. A sprig of Holly was kept near the door all year long as a constant invitation for good fortune to pay visit to the residents.
The ceremonial Yule log was the highlight of the festival. In accordance to tradition, the log must either have been harvested from the householder's land, or given as a gift... it must never have been bought. Once dragged into the house and placed in the fireplace it was decorated in seasonal greenery, doused with cider or ale, and dusted with flour before set ablaze be a piece of last years log, (held onto for just this purpose). The log would burn throughout the night, then smolder for 12 days after before being ceremonially put out. Ash is the traditional wood of the Yule log. It is the sacred world tree of the Teutons, known as Yggdrasil. An herb of the Sun, Ash brings light into the hearth at the Solstice.
A different type of Yule log, and perhaps one more suitable for modern practitioners would be the type that is used as a base to hold three candles. Find a smaller branch of oak or pine, and flatten one side so it sets upright. Drill three holes in the top side to hold red, green, and white (season), green, gold, and black (the Sun God), or white, red, and black (the Great Goddess). Continue to decorate with greenery, red and gold bows, rosebuds, cloves, and dust with flour.
Deities of Yule are all Newborn Gods, Sun Gods, Mother Goddesses, and Triple Goddesses. The best known would be the Dagda, and Brighid, the daughter of the Dagda. Brighid taught the smiths the arts of fire tending and the secrets of metal work. Brighid's flame, like the flame of the new light, pierces the darkness of the spirit and mind, while the Dagda's cauldron assures that Nature will always provide for all the children.
Symbolism of Yule:
Rebirth of the Sun, The longest night of the year, The Winter Solstice, Introspect, Planning for the Future.
Symbols of Yule:
Yule log, or small Yule log with 3 candles, evergreen boughs or wreaths, holly, mistletoe hung in doorways, gold pillar candles, baskets of clove studded fruit, a simmering pot of wassail, poinsettias, christmas cactus.
Herbs of Yule:
Bayberry, blessed thistle, evergreen, frankincense holly, laurel, mistletoe, oak, pine, sage, yellow cedar.
Foods of Yule:
Cookies and caraway cakes soaked in cider, fruits, nuts, pork dishes, turkey, eggnog, ginger tea, spiced cider, wassail, or lamb's wool (ale, sugar, nutmeg, roasted apples).
Incense of Yule:
Pine, cedar, bayberry, cinnamon.
Colors of Yule:
Red, green, gold, white, silver, yellow, orange.
Stones of Yule:
Rubies, bloodstones, garnets, emeralds, diamonds.
Activities of Yule:
Caroling, wassailing the trees, burning the Yule log, decorating the Yule tree, exchanging of presents, kissing under the mistletoe, honoring Kriss Kringle the Germanic Pagan God of Yule
Spellworkings of Yule:
Peace, harmony, love, and increased happiness.
Deities of Yule:
Goddesses-Brighid, Isis, Demeter, Gaea, Diana, The Great Mother. Gods-Apollo, Ra, Odin, Lugh, The Oak King, The Horned One, The Green Man, The Divine Child, Mabon.
Yule, (pronounced EWE-elle) is when the dark half of the year relinquishes to the light half. Starting the next morning at sunrise, the sun climbs just a little higher and stays a little longer in the sky each day. Known as Solstice Night, or the longest night of the year, much celebration was to be had as the ancestors awaited the rebirth of the Oak King, the Sun King, the Giver of Life that warmed the frozen Earth and made her to bear forth from seeds protected through the fall and winter in her womb. Bonfires were lit in the fields, and crops and trees were "wassailed" with toasts of spiced cider.
Children were escorted from house to house with gifts of clove spiked apples and oranges which were laid in baskets of evergreen boughs and wheat stalks dusted with flour. The apples and oranges represented the sun, the boughs were symbolic of immortality, the wheat stalks portrayed the harvest, and the flour was accomplishment of triumph, light, and life. Holly, mistletoe, and ivy not only decorated the outside, but also the inside of homes. It was to extend invitation to Nature Sprites to come and join the celebration. A sprig of Holly was kept near the door all year long as a constant invitation for good fortune to pay visit to the residents.
The ceremonial Yule log was the highlight of the festival. In accordance to tradition, the log must either have been harvested from the householder's land, or given as a gift... it must never have been bought. Once dragged into the house and placed in the fireplace it was decorated in seasonal greenery, doused with cider or ale, and dusted with flour before set ablaze be a piece of last years log, (held onto for just this purpose). The log would burn throughout the night, then smolder for 12 days after before being ceremonially put out. Ash is the traditional wood of the Yule log. It is the sacred world tree of the Teutons, known as Yggdrasil. An herb of the Sun, Ash brings light into the hearth at the Solstice.
A different type of Yule log, and perhaps one more suitable for modern practitioners would be the type that is used as a base to hold three candles. Find a smaller branch of oak or pine, and flatten one side so it sets upright. Drill three holes in the top side to hold red, green, and white (season), green, gold, and black (the Sun God), or white, red, and black (the Great Goddess). Continue to decorate with greenery, red and gold bows, rosebuds, cloves, and dust with flour.
Deities of Yule are all Newborn Gods, Sun Gods, Mother Goddesses, and Triple Goddesses. The best known would be the Dagda, and Brighid, the daughter of the Dagda. Brighid taught the smiths the arts of fire tending and the secrets of metal work. Brighid's flame, like the flame of the new light, pierces the darkness of the spirit and mind, while the Dagda's cauldron assures that Nature will always provide for all the children.
Symbolism of Yule:
Rebirth of the Sun, The longest night of the year, The Winter Solstice, Introspect, Planning for the Future.
Symbols of Yule:
Yule log, or small Yule log with 3 candles, evergreen boughs or wreaths, holly, mistletoe hung in doorways, gold pillar candles, baskets of clove studded fruit, a simmering pot of wassail, poinsettias, christmas cactus.
Herbs of Yule:
Bayberry, blessed thistle, evergreen, frankincense holly, laurel, mistletoe, oak, pine, sage, yellow cedar.
Foods of Yule:
Cookies and caraway cakes soaked in cider, fruits, nuts, pork dishes, turkey, eggnog, ginger tea, spiced cider, wassail, or lamb's wool (ale, sugar, nutmeg, roasted apples).
Incense of Yule:
Pine, cedar, bayberry, cinnamon.
Colors of Yule:
Red, green, gold, white, silver, yellow, orange.
Stones of Yule:
Rubies, bloodstones, garnets, emeralds, diamonds.
Activities of Yule:
Caroling, wassailing the trees, burning the Yule log, decorating the Yule tree, exchanging of presents, kissing under the mistletoe, honoring Kriss Kringle the Germanic Pagan God of Yule
Spellworkings of Yule:
Peace, harmony, love, and increased happiness.
Deities of Yule:
Goddesses-Brighid, Isis, Demeter, Gaea, Diana, The Great Mother. Gods-Apollo, Ra, Odin, Lugh, The Oak King, The Horned One, The Green Man, The Divine Child, Mabon.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Ice Storms, SUCK!
I know, bad blogger AGAIN!
Work is taking most of my time and when I do get time to do anything I play City of Heroes to relax and try and avoid the stress of people complaining about my house, cleaning wise etc.
I do need some extra help cause on my days off i wanna relax dang it!
I don't wanna be cleaning and cooking and UGH, drives me nuts!
We just got hit with a ice storm, god it sucks, power went out about 9 or 9:30pm. We finally got power back about 3am I think it was.
It was freezing!
GEEZ!
I watched my hubby and our friend play car wars.
D&D was called off tonite cause of the weather.
Which was fine with me since I still had to do floor set stuff for work and my article for the city scoop, well the freaking weather put a stop to that!
But I finally took a nap, dunno for how long but eh..
I was to cold to sleep, dropped to the 50s in here.
I finally woke up and we all played Rummy.
Then the power came back and here I am :)
ANYWAYS!
Last Friday the 7Th was my birthday, I had alot of FUN!
Hubby got me Flowers:
I bought me some new shoes for work and running shoes:
Then of course since I gotta look good for work, got some cheep jewelery:
Then a lady at work got me: A kitty mouse pad
Then I got some goodies from work :)
All and all great time
That's it for now!
Don't want the power to kill out and i haven't posted this yet!
Noire
Work is taking most of my time and when I do get time to do anything I play City of Heroes to relax and try and avoid the stress of people complaining about my house, cleaning wise etc.
I do need some extra help cause on my days off i wanna relax dang it!
I don't wanna be cleaning and cooking and UGH, drives me nuts!
We just got hit with a ice storm, god it sucks, power went out about 9 or 9:30pm. We finally got power back about 3am I think it was.
It was freezing!
GEEZ!
I watched my hubby and our friend play car wars.
D&D was called off tonite cause of the weather.
Which was fine with me since I still had to do floor set stuff for work and my article for the city scoop, well the freaking weather put a stop to that!
But I finally took a nap, dunno for how long but eh..
I was to cold to sleep, dropped to the 50s in here.
I finally woke up and we all played Rummy.
Then the power came back and here I am :)
ANYWAYS!
Last Friday the 7Th was my birthday, I had alot of FUN!
Hubby got me Flowers:
I bought me some new shoes for work and running shoes:
Then of course since I gotta look good for work, got some cheep jewelery:
Then a lady at work got me: A kitty mouse pad
Then I got some goodies from work :)
All and all great time
That's it for now!
Don't want the power to kill out and i haven't posted this yet!
Noire
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