Weight Loss Updates!

Please bear with me as I write this, please take the time to read it... I would greatly appreciate it, I need to get some thoughts off my chest...

For the last 5 years, I have been busting my ass to lose weight and get healthy... I had setbacks, who doesn't? From falling outta the ring as wrestling school and smashing my back into the frame of the ring to strained muscles, tonsils being taken out, loss in the family to everything else between.

Some days I look at the calendar and go... great another year gone and it feels like I didn't accomplish anything...

Example: Before the COVID19 lockdown happened I was going to the gym and mainly lifting with very little cardio, I found myself gaining weight, losing some inches but I felt like it wasn't enough, I did get some gains too but the gains I didn't want... Over the lockdown, I focused mainly on cardio and cleaning and getting things done here, less stressful which helped me lose 18lbs...

How is it going to the gym for a year I get the good and bad gains but over the course of almost 8 weeks I lost 18lbs, I don't understand! But I will take it!

It's taken me 20 years to get this far... I tried to lose weight a couple of times in the first 10 years after my hubby and I got married but I would fail... I failed because my confidence and esteem was crap because of the bullying I went through in high school being made fun of for being in shape and doing track/sports and weightlifting.

After high school, I gained almost 300lbs and getting married at my heaviest. I never thought anything of it until I kept trying and failing and giving up... this time... I haven't done either and I am trying my hardest to keep it that way! As much as some days I want too!

There are days I feel like giving up again because I am at the point even after losing 200lbs or so... things are slowing down and I want the weight to keep coming off fast, I know things take time but it's so annoying because it's been 5 years and I just am so tired and want things done and over with!

I know 200lbs is a lot but at the same time it feels like it isn't enough, not sure why I feel this way but I guess I am to the point of frustration that I am wanting this to be over. I know once I lose all the weight it won't be over but the maintaining is where I wanna be like NOW...

I know sometimes I don't eat the best, other times I do. My workouts are sometimes consistent and sometimes not. I try my best and my hardest to keep doing what I am doing even with the obstacles and other things that stand in my way. I just want to hit delete on all the things that held me back all the years before and some still haunt me to this day.

I know it's all a process and things take time but sometimes I am impatient and other times I am super impatient. Like right now!

Anyway, my thoughts fo the evening, thanks for reading, hope to have some new side by sides in the near future!

Still not heading back to the gym since numbers are still climbing, having less stress working out at home is best right now anyway since I am getting more results this way :D