If You Have Not Got This Game Yet... DO SO NAO!

MMO's I Have Played Since 1998

Started back in 1998/99 with Diablo and Diablo II - year or so
CoH/V - my last MMO - Beta til Now
Champions Online
Dungeons & Dragons Online - played the trial honestly love rolling dice better!!
Dungeon Runners - few days
Everquest
Everquest II - 6-8 months
Guild Wars - 6 months
Neverwinter Nights - not very long
Perfect World games (played all 3) - every now and again
StarWars Galaxy's - few months
Second life.... yeah
World of Warcraft - couldn't stand it wasn't on it long

Now ---- AION!

Progress!

According to my doctors scale and such I have lost 11.5 inches total in my waist, 31lbs gone in 16.5 weeks, fat is down another 3.3 points in 2 months, muscle is up 1.6 in 2 months, BMI was in the 40s 4 months ago now its down to a 36.5, PROGRESS! More to come soon!

I hate how I let myself go the last 9 years after I quit smoking by using junk food to control cravings and got lazy to top things off, plus being with a ex boyfriend for almost 5 of those years the lazy SOB. Ah well I have what I want in life and as soon as I get more weight off it will be baby time!! Hubby & I can't wait!! ^_^

A Little Something I Wrote....

Thursday I just couldn't sleep and I wrote this for hubby <3


It's now after 11pm, Thursday I think it's the 17Th of July (2009)

I just can't sleep toninght or spell for that fact & fuck it I am not going to scribble it out and fix it either. (typing just the way I wrote it lol)

I just have alot on my mind 90% of it has to do with my insulin and weight loss. I am hoping things are getting on track to be normal again

- My insulin levels
- My weight

All I really really want this year for my birthday and Christmas is those things and to have a baby with hubby, I understand we can always adopt but I want that glow and feeling of a life (or 2 or more) growing inside me, knowing we created someone, someone special, someone that is part of each of us someone that will be loved by both of us and our families.

But I seriously........

Well its the only 3 things I want this year for Christmas/Birthday

I am pushing hard to get to my goal some days its frustrating but I know I will get there.

I sit and listen now to the quiet

- The light snores of hubby
- the fans
- the cats walking along the floor

So peaceful & quiet

I know it will change when I get pregnant :P and when the kids will be born. But I will enjoy it now before that happens.

I know I need to sleep.
I need to get up in the morning and make my honey breakfast which I will.
His lunch is made and the coffee maker is set so that's a plus
I wonder if he will read this
His thoughts on it If he will say anything or maybe write something?
I dunno

I can tell my handwriting has got worse over the years because I am used to typing. Ah well :P

I just wanna give hubby the family hes been dreaming about and wanting I have those same dreams and wants too. It's just you know as a women wanting to make my man happy anyway possible.

Having healthy babies
Having a healthy family
Keeping him & I healthy to live a long life together til we grow old as ancient trees and forget how we met. (He wrote that to me in a old letter from when we first got married lol)

It's all we both want
I know that
Knew that when we talked online

Reasons of a few why I fell in love with him and he fell in love with me

He is my soul mate
my best friend
my lover
my husband
and so much more

(same with him but I am a wife lol)

I love him so much and always will

I think my guilt has finally gone away from a couple years ago when we where having some problems.

I was stupid back then
Very stupid

Hubby is snoring up a storm tonight Slayer came to sit with me lol

He is glaring off into the bedroom @ hubby.

Guess the snoring bugged him.

Maybe I should try and sleep now. I just felt like writing something tonight.

Hmm... think Ill type is tomorrow then some and now a drink of water then try and sleep...

33lbs down
67 to my goal

I love you JoelB

Your wife always
tinab
xo
<3

God's & Goddess' & Karma

One must think before they act, Karma can be a good or bad thing depending how you look at it.

The Gods and Goddess' keep a eye on such things.

If someone talks bad about someone & something & the gods & goddess don't agree, does something to hurt another person & the gods & goddess don't agree, if you do something wrong & the gods & goddess don't agree, the list goes on....

If they don't agree with your actions it will come back at you 3 times fold, Ive been here and done this many times to count, all you can do is learn from your actions and apologize and not do it again. If you continue to do bad bad things happen if you change and do good good things happen, it's the circle of life and Karma.

One also must make up for past mistakes by doing good, changing there ways.


Speaking of changing, I know I am not perfect, no one is and if everyone was perfect this would be a really boring world and life. (Yes posted part of this convo before but doing it again)

Hubby and I got into a conversation about a change recently:


Me: Hey babe, do you think I am trying to change you?

Him: Have you been taking those stupid online quizzes again?

Me: no no, seriously I read a comment on a blog that I am trying to change you and your letting me do it...

Him: Ya so if I didn't want to change I wouldn't of married you, I gotta change my ways of being single and I am going to change cause I want to and it is for the best, for us and our kids.

Me: Ya I know I just was really upset about it

Him: Don't be who cares? who gives a shit! Seriously!

Me: Okay

Him: I love you and nothing will change that even when we are old and grey

Me: I love you too and ya when we are teaching the grandkids how to play D&D right?

Him: Of course!

Me: *giggle* Dork :P

Him: Mrs Dork, you married me!

Me: I did and what are you gonna do about it

Him: nothing but maybe.... *tickle fight*

Me/Him: *repeated laughing & screaming*


......... So yeah change is always good :)

So if one is rude mean and ignorant and the list goes on....... things are bad...... CHANGE!

So if one is nice kind honest and the list goes on..... don't change!

If your a mix of both life will have its ups and downs and make life interesting

I know I am both as is hubby :)

The Gods and Goddess' are watching you and watching out for others expecally those you want to or try and hurt !

Updates!

Well time for a update or 2 or 3 !
Maybe more!

Well as most know life has turned around here, things are working out great, we are getting the house ready to be sold by the new year, I hope it goes quick because we want to get our new bigger house.

Weight loss: Going awesome! 31 lbs lost now and 12 inches on my waist, hopefully by the time we get into our new house things will be on track and in order and we can start our family!

Hubby's days off if we are not working on house reno stuff we are gaming with our awesome friends or just hanging out just the 2 of us and relaxing over movies or whatever.

We are happy with the way things are, well I could use the more weight loss and insulin down but that is coming along I am sure.

Well I am gonna go back to cleaning up and watching my soaps.
xo

~ RIP King of Pop ~

You will be missed, I grew up listening to Micheal Jackson and really liked alot of his music, still do, even though sometimes I'd say he drove me crazy or wth was going on now, I truly thought and still think he is a amazing person for everything he has been though.

May you rest in peace Micheal Jackson

1958 - 2009

xo

Aion Beta Test 3 ... done!

SO MUCH FUN!

I really enjoyed it, I hope hubby decides to play.

My bro in law and I where running around playing, can't wait til his wife is able to join us, there is still 3 more beta's before the week head start for us pre-order people, I just had a freaken blast! Good news also some City of Heroes folks are headed to Aion too :)

YAY!

Weight is down to 219 now, FINALLY! YAY! that means 69lbs to go!

*dances*

Hubby also started his 10hr days today which is awesome <3

Time to finish moving stuff into the spare room

Guardian Will Always Be Home

Looks like I still have access to the City of Heroes boards til next month (and the game but I had no room on my HD), which is good minus the HD thing lol. Guardian will always be home. Know I have not hung up my cape for good I will probably be back on free weekends or when I get my new hard drive have both games running, who knows! I wont be playing Aion ALOT til most of the reno stuff is done, which still got quite a bit to do. Which is fine cause it's still in beta! lol.

I am going to miss alot of folks from CoH that I don't have contact with outside of game, maybe they will get facebook or find my email and poke me there. I hope so cause I love all of em they been great friends over the last 5.5 years. I'll be in touch with a few via facebook and email, some over the telephone.

3rd round of Aion beta starts tonight til Monday, hubby got a OT shift tomorrow night so looks like Aion beta time for me! Ill miss hubby lots and I thank him for letting me get the game Early!! He is the best hubby ever not just for that but for everything who he is and just hes amazing! I love him very much, I know we will be playing games even when we are 90 and playing them with grand kids lol.

Still sticking to my workout/diet! Don't worry! Can't have grand kids without kids! eh? heheh... Seriously I am not stopping I love having this energy :)

Well the week from hell will be here any day now so I know im gonna have some lazy days... Better do some housework/workout now before I go any further in this day without it. :)

End of One Game, Start of Another....

Yup you heard me right, I quit City of Heroes today.
*SHOCK*
I know!

Aion has been temping me more and more

Food Diary - June 30th 2009

So far today:

Before workout

Hotdogs 2 (left over, wanted something to munch on lol)
Watermelon (1inch slice)

Workout:
Bob's challenge - 250 crunches
Bootcamp level 1
Mow'd the yard (front & back - 45mins - yes push mower)

Afterworkout

Devil'd eggs (4 carbs from my special ingredents)

Dinner

Chicken
Green beans - LOTS! - 6 carbs
Moouse chocolate - 2 carbs

Tons of water and a diet pop (0 carbs)

I think I did pretty good today, ive stayed full :)
Might have a snack later if I get hungry, dunno what tho, maybe just water :p

Food Diary - June 29th 2009

Well I went 3 carbs over yesterday, oops
but had just a lil over 1100 cals, so not bad.

Before my workout I had some meat and watermelon, that set me for workout.

I did bob's biggest loser bootcamp level 1

then I had some beef jerky (.5 carbs)

for lunch I had some chicken and green beans (7 carbs)

snack I had some cottage cheese (4 carbs)

Dinner I had 3 hot dogs, no buns of course (12 carbs)
(Thats what made me go over lol)
Also had made some devil'd eggs but used real mayo (0 carbs hint of mustard 0 carbs) but those didnt count cause I can have unlimited eggs but I had 4 peices.


Overall I think I did good


Weight now = 220 !!! YEAH!

30lbs down 70lbs to go!!

Woohoo!
Not bad for 13 weeks!
Thats like almost 10lbs a month... wonder if I can do the last 70 before my birthday


Just got done cutting the grass... 45mins, now to do bootcamp level 1...

I Am A Universal Person!

You are a perfect balance of everything. You've gone through a fair share of things and you are able to put yourself in other peoples shoes. You are caring and understanding. You are fun and warm to be around. You tend to help people. You know what it is like to be at an all time low and you know how to deal with things. You consider all of your friends to be "good friends. You are kinda like the Goldie Locks of personalities. The things you do are practical, but sensitive to whom it would affect. You are at ease with yourself, and have spent a good deal of time finding yourself, and now that you have, you've finally bloomed into something beautiful.

Updates of Life & Food Diary

I have my food diary for today already cause If i eat anything else I thinks I am gonna blow up.....

Breakfast:

2 celery stalks with peanut butter (3 carbs)
water


Lunch

Chinese Buffet!

Chicken, meatballs (6), 2 pieces of broccoli, more chicken, pork, chicken & mushrooms, cheese, chicken & jalapenos prolly all in all I dunno how many carbs..... not many since it was a ton of meat!
Diet Pepsi with lemon

I don't think I am gonna eat anything for the rest of the day cept maybe more peanut butter & celery late later tonight if anything if not just fill up on more water cause i been drinking gallons of that ! :)

Checked the scale this morning when I woke up, down 29lbs total now, pretty good for just over 3 months of work :)

This means I have 71lbs left to the goal I wanna do.

Today hubby and I also had a convo....

Me: Do you think I am controlling & trying to change you?

Hubby: Have you been taking those online stupid quiz things again?

Me: No... just something I read on a "friends" blog....

Hubby: Ya but so what, your my wife your allowed to do that, if I didn't wanna change who I am or bad habits of being single I wouldn't of married you 4.5 years ago, but that's what marriage is about.

Me: true there is somethings you wanted/want to change about me too and we are working together to do it right and yours?

Hubby: Yuppers, so don't worry about it who cares what others think.

Me: Thanks, I love you

Hubby: I love you too :)

I thought for awhile I was getting controlling or whatever because of something I read... but I am a wife guess I am allowed :P

I mean I am not HUGE controlling just well sure hubby's quitting smoking but hes wanted to do that for years I am just there to give him that extra bump, his whole family is smoke free but his brother and he is trying to quit too, and quit drinking.

So brother and brother work together, how cute! LOL!

Other then that, time to go to some cleaning on the basement, Father in law is banging away in the spare room putting the finishing touches on that room, Hubby just woke up at is gonna help me :)

When he goes to work later I think I am gonna play some city of heroes for once, then when he gets home in the morning hes gonna nap, get up we will work more on the basement then just R&R and finish watching Hogfather or Jack of All Trades, then back to the weekly grind.

He figures one or 2 overtime shifts a month will help us, he starts his 10hr days week after next so 2 days of reno work/seeing new houses etc etc and one day of gaming with friends :)

We need to get moving if we wanna get stuff done by spring, I know his dad is pushing us to get moving so time to do it ;)

EDIT: Well also had some homemade chocolate moose tonight and a small handful of nuts, equals my day out to 20 carbs total prolly.

Food Diary - June 26th 2009

Before Workout:

Strawberry Mango/Vanilla Yogurt smoothie with 1 cup of soy milk stuffs...
Only got about 1/3 of this smoothie since the other 2/3's ended up in my lap *sniff* was really good too!!


Workout: Bootcamp Level 1 (Biggest loser, Bob Harper)


After Workout:

1/2 cup of Macadamia Nuts (2 carbs)


Lunch:

3 pieces of chicken cooked in Tabasco (1 carb)


Dinner:

Wasn't that hungry tonight really....

2 tablespoons of pasta sauce (mushroom, meat, onion, garlic ~ Homemade... maybe 1 carb...)

Chocolate Moose (2 carbs)


Snack:

Celery & peanut butter (5 carbs)


Drinks: A ton of water over 10 glasses.


Weight as of today 222lbs, another lb gone!!
Woo!
That's 28lbs gone in just over 3 months, can I make the last 72 before my birthday, stay tuned!!!

Food Diary - June 25th 2009

Before Workout

14oz of Muscle milk light (4 carbs)
Celery & peanut butter (5 carbs)


Workout

Biggest Loser - Bootcamp Level 1


After Workout

Cauliflower & cheese (3 carbs)


Lunch

Celery & peanut butter (5 carbs)
Ceaser salad (3 carbs)


Dinner

3 hot dogs (12 carbs)
Mustard (0 carbs)
Pepsi Lime (0 carbs)


Snack

1/4 cup of Macadamia nuts (1 carb)


Total - 24

Ya I know 4 over....
I found when I drank the muscle milk I was full, really full, was good too.
But I think I am going to keep the last 2 bottles I have for the weekend, I picked em up for 70 cents each to give em a try.
My body has been getting more firm too :)

I feel great and hubby says I look great and ive always been beautiful he says but I look even more so now with my glow, yay!!

Weight - 223lbs


Down 27lbs as of June 25th!!
Be back to my skinny fit self in no time!!
72lbs to go to my goal!

Ranting....

http://storm.ashidai.org/?p=7 ---> the post....


This is a "friends" blog, seems she posted it in the week after the weekend we invited them over for a BBQ. We invited them last minute, at first where just gonna have our usual gamer friends but after we found out that our friend died, we started inviting EVERYONE even our neighbours. Seems she still has beef with me or pretty jealous, who knows, comes off as both to me, and others.

Friends I think we are?

Let's start here... I dunno what kinda friends we are for one, never knew. Maybe in the beginning we where good friends or just friends period. Be honest I can't trust her, she's just got that feel to her, one min being one thing, next min someone else. Kinda feel I had with my last best friend who are not friends with me anymore kinda feel because she pretended to be alot of things, goth, punk, grunge, morbid, the list goes on...

She also seems so buddy buddy when we are around one another, hubby becomes happy cause we are getting along after all our differences Mamabear and I... yeah right I believe em to cause well who knows right? So who the hell knows where her mind set is... I thought we where becoming friends at least the kind to get along and chat now and again about anything.

Hubby and I had issues sure what marriage doesn't... we got over em. Now we can't get enough of one another ;)

Change her friend is the next thing...

Riiiiiiiiiiight.....

I am not trying to change him, he is changing himself.
I mentioned the smoking cause I was planning ahead thinking of our kids and his health, I mean his dad just lost a gf a few years ago to cancer, I don't think we wanna go though the same thing. We made a list of reasons to quit he said he wants to grow old with me and have LOTS of kids and be there for every part of there life and ours, we both see ourselves at 90 years old watching movies on dvd while the kids and grandkids have some new funky tech. :)

He doesn't want to drink anymore, he See's what it's been doing to his brother, and his brother's gf and there relationship, as well as he knows I hate drinking because my dad was a alcoholic.

HE IS WANTING TO CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!

He wants to get his family started, cut out all the bad things in life and move on. He things saved up and in order, get life on track, his dream = FAMILY WITH ME!

8 times over the last 4 years....

Life changes, things change, people don't' come around as often, its a proven fact, people need to move on and get over it too, we will see you when we see you kinda thing, happens all the time, we invite people we don't see often to comicbook conventions or gaming conventions or over to visit, not our fault they don't wanna come.

Reason hubby and I go everywhere together is I don't get out much as it is, I am home all day, hubby wants to take me places even if its down to the corner store, just so we can go out and do things and have fun. We don't' like going anywhere without one another and ya we are married. Hubby always tells me his fav part of the day is coming home and hanging out with me or D20 gaming with me and our friends. He couldn't ask for more :)

Everyone we know (cept a few) tell hubby how lucky he is to have me in his life and he agrees and there is ALOT of people who are jealous and they need to back off!

This curtain will not fall so people need to get that thought outta there head. When we got married 4.5 years ago we made sure this is the one and this is it, together forever and that is our plan, we love one another to much not to expecally after everything we been though its just made us stronger. :)

Well time to get my workout on, down to 222lbs finally 28lbs GONE BABY! Not bad for 3 months of work! 72lbs left! Hopefully!

Atkins & Food Diary Updates!

Well I joined the Atkins site, learning alot of new stuff.
Pretty neat accually.

Food Diary
June 24th 2009

No workout today

Breakfast: 2 cups of coffee with heavy cream (0 carbs)
1 oz of Beef Jerky (1 carb)

Lunch: Chicken Breast Cooked in Tabassco & Chicken Broth (1 carb)
Cauliflower & Cheese (3 carbs)

Snack: 3 stalks of celery & peanut butter ( 5 carbs)

Dinner: Ceaser Salad with 0 carb dressing (3 carbs)
Leftover chicken from lunch (1 carb)

Snack: Sprite Zero (0 carbs)
Edy's Popcycle Strawberry (6 carbs)

Total carbs for the day: 20
Weight 225

I Am Not Stupid, Seriously! ... Part 2

Well since yesterday the Mr and I had a talk
He knows he was wrong, I went to the car and looked under the seat and yup a whole pack, I have them hiding now. He knows I got them, he knows it was wrong.
I hate fighting over little things like this, I mean when you are paying for smoke free stuff the deal is.... stay that way!
I understand it can be hard, been there done it myself, but this is a promise and choice one has made for him and myself and looking at the future also for our kids.
So that is the same with me, losing my quitting smoking weight, so let's keep on it together eh? That's the plan and let's stick to it, when we get moved into our new house next year hopefully it will be time to start a family, that's the plan. :)

I mean when you love someone more then enough you bend over backwards for one another, I mean I didn't expect him to change because I wanted him too, it's just I was thinking about his health, our kids health when that day comes, second hand smoke is more of a killer when it comes to smoking, expecally to babies, I was thinking of my health too but I was concerned about his and future kids. One habit of mine, always planning ahead.

His dad lost his girlfriend 2 or 3 years ago now to smoking, it was really sad. I watched her on some weekends while he was out. It made me miss hubby more and realize we needed to do something too. I want to grow old with him and I want us to be around for our kids weddings and grand kids being born and the whole thing, he is wanting to change because of those things most of all. We made a list of why he wants to quit and those where on it.

So for those of you who say otherwise, you don't know people as you think you do. We love one another very much, he says I am the best thing that's ever happened to him I feel the same, we have so much to live for and be together for, our hopes and dreams are coming together slow but sure. Before we got married 4.5 years ago, we made a promise no matter what this is where we are staying side by side always and forever so this curtain will NEVER fall. We mean to much to one another.

We go alot of places together since I am home 100% of the time when hubby goes places he takes me with him even if it is to the store, why? Cause I don't get out much and I don't have many friends around here. His friends are my friends and my friends are his. The friends he doesn't go see with me are Amy and Ms Gloria from when I worked at Bath & Body Works but getting together with them is once in a very long time, expecally now since Ms Gloria is back under kemo.

Once hubby goes to 4 days a week we will be spending alot of time on the house so his Dad can stop worrying about our time line and know we are getting things done, we will spend 2 days doing that and the other day gaming with friends. Other friends wonder why we don't come see them as much, it's because of the schedule difference, or because I know some people don't like me and you know what some people don't like hubby and I being together but guess what... TO BAD! That's the reason why those friends are not friends anymore to either of us.

Hubby has a few friends he has been friends with since he was 10 or so, so that's along time, they are like brothers to him and I think a friendship that long deserves a metal :)

Well on this note, workout is done, have some dishes to do, laundry to put away, think I am just gonna relax til hubby comes home, and we go buy him some more smoke free gum :)

I Am Not Stupid, Seriously!

Other day the Mr and I got into a argument due to him smoking again, he was doing great on the quitting thing, 6-8 months smoke free then our friend died, I could understand him starting up again reason I didn't say anything. But he came to me and said after the pack he had that was it. I said fine I didn't wanna fight about it cause I understood who what where when and why... you know?

Well me always screaming from the rooftops how proud I am of him for quitting, helping people in City of Heroes, facebook and other sites and giving them tips and telling them still how proud I am. I feel like I was blowing smoke out my ass now. I caught hubby yet again this past Sunday night, he clams it was only ONE, still our promise was I lose the weight I need to get prego he quits, simple right?

I been smoke free for 9 years, I know how the quitting thing goes. At the time I quit I was with someone who couldn't stand smoke and it made him sick, gave me WILLPOWER and all that stuffs. You think when someone or something means alot to you ... you get that WILLPOWER. Right?

Well after our little spite he tossed the rest of the pack in the trash but this is where the I am not stupid comes in... he took them OUT of the pack and put em in there so they had coffee grinds and other trash all over them, did I count em? Heck ya and I know a pack is 20, I counted 13 + the 2 he said he smoked is 15, the other 5? I know he is hiding em in the car under his seat, caught him this morning getting in the car and looking under the seat. He didn't know it but ya I was watching though the window, my mother/wife tingle went off. He tried to play it off but I am seriously not stupid, he is in for it when he gets home, he knows better.

I catch him again though all bets are off, I will flush my weight loss stuff down the toilet. I am so mad right now I don't care if we have kids or not. As much as I want kids it hurts like hell when people can't keep there promises.

Can I have the knife outta my chest nao?
Please?
k thx bi