Fucking people going to sites and shit on my pc again that they are not suppose to cause they fuck up my computer, my pc is screwed I gotta do more scans yet again.
Another thing I am ready to give up on losing weight I been at another plateau for a month and it's driving me crazy I want these last 50-55 lbs gone and it doesn't help when people don't keep there promises so all I got to say is FUCK IT ALL!
~ Noire
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Fun Fun & Moar Fun!
It's been months of fun since hubby started his new job, every weekend we get when he's off work we play our D20 games with awesome friends like Kevin, Jason, Bruce and when Vince & Kim can make it and Mike one of hubbys old Army buddies when he is on leave. It's just been tons of fun.
This month is full of gaming but also hanging out with new friends (in between renovation work of course lol), the guys from hubbys work. We get together once in awhile and watch football, play guitar hero and rarely follows with some beer.... Not enough to get hammer'd but just enough to get a small buzz (3-4 beers) which is good for hubby & I. We are not heavy drinkers like we used to be cause well it causes problems.
I like having new friends and old friends and some friends we just like to keep out of our picture cause well they caused huge problems and they are not there anymore permanently, so yeah that's where they will stay for good cause we can't stand them.
This weekend is a Grad party for our one friend she's graduating hair dressing school, gratz girl! We are going to head over for a couple hours to say, "Hi" and have some good food & good company. But we are going to have to leave early cause hubby works a double the following day, which is understandable.
The 31st our best friends Forrest and Mandy are getting married so when hubby gets done work that day, off to PARTY some more.
Well housework and workouts done now to play AION! Til hubby gets home then it's biggest loser night AND movie night over dinner. <3
This month is full of gaming but also hanging out with new friends (in between renovation work of course lol), the guys from hubbys work. We get together once in awhile and watch football, play guitar hero and rarely follows with some beer.... Not enough to get hammer'd but just enough to get a small buzz (3-4 beers) which is good for hubby & I. We are not heavy drinkers like we used to be cause well it causes problems.
I like having new friends and old friends and some friends we just like to keep out of our picture cause well they caused huge problems and they are not there anymore permanently, so yeah that's where they will stay for good cause we can't stand them.
This weekend is a Grad party for our one friend she's graduating hair dressing school, gratz girl! We are going to head over for a couple hours to say, "Hi" and have some good food & good company. But we are going to have to leave early cause hubby works a double the following day, which is understandable.
The 31st our best friends Forrest and Mandy are getting married so when hubby gets done work that day, off to PARTY some more.
Well housework and workouts done now to play AION! Til hubby gets home then it's biggest loser night AND movie night over dinner. <3
Monday, October 19, 2009
Updates !!
Well it's now October 19th, dang where is time going!
We have been so busy with renovation work & getting things ready for the house to go on the market come spring time has just been flying by! Hubby and his dad laid the concrete yesterday in the basement, the gravel truck should be coming this Saturday to even out the backyard driveway. That way all thats left come spring is the upper driveway & another coat on the deck.
The last of inside that will be done this fall/winter is the Kitchen and Basement, and last touches on the master bedroom so I can move our room back in there, which I can't wait the spare room we are in now is SO TINY I am starting to feel claustrophobic, Hubby and I have alot of work still ahead of us, lucky he gets 3 days off a week but we are ALWAYS busy those 3 days, either D20 fun with friends (if he's off on a weekend) or renovation work or just having us time & enjoying it very much!
But we need to get back to packing shit up, already one side of the basement has some stuff we packed, basement is actually looking like one now instead of a storage bin of old room-mate shit from ages ago. I just can't wait til we are done & we get a new house, which looks clearer and clearer everyday, I hope I can find one like I did when I was looking around to see what was out there, I found a 4bed 2bath for 45,000. It was built in 2003. Very nice too. To bad we where not looking when I found it lol. I am sure something will come up : )
I also bought hubby a early Christmas gift, the WHOLE I mean WHOLE Farscape series on DVD. I found it at a local store for a pretty penny lol. But it was worth it, he is so happy. : )
I have more doc app's coming up, OBGYN see what she says about getting prego soon probably gotta get the rest of this weight off which I am trying but been very frustrating as of late.
Forrest & Mandy are getting married on Halloween, got most of our Christmas shopping done, man again time is just flying by!
Well workout and housework is done time to play Aion til hubby gets home & then it will be movie/dinner time.
We have been so busy with renovation work & getting things ready for the house to go on the market come spring time has just been flying by! Hubby and his dad laid the concrete yesterday in the basement, the gravel truck should be coming this Saturday to even out the backyard driveway. That way all thats left come spring is the upper driveway & another coat on the deck.
The last of inside that will be done this fall/winter is the Kitchen and Basement, and last touches on the master bedroom so I can move our room back in there, which I can't wait the spare room we are in now is SO TINY I am starting to feel claustrophobic, Hubby and I have alot of work still ahead of us, lucky he gets 3 days off a week but we are ALWAYS busy those 3 days, either D20 fun with friends (if he's off on a weekend) or renovation work or just having us time & enjoying it very much!
But we need to get back to packing shit up, already one side of the basement has some stuff we packed, basement is actually looking like one now instead of a storage bin of old room-mate shit from ages ago. I just can't wait til we are done & we get a new house, which looks clearer and clearer everyday, I hope I can find one like I did when I was looking around to see what was out there, I found a 4bed 2bath for 45,000. It was built in 2003. Very nice too. To bad we where not looking when I found it lol. I am sure something will come up : )
I also bought hubby a early Christmas gift, the WHOLE I mean WHOLE Farscape series on DVD. I found it at a local store for a pretty penny lol. But it was worth it, he is so happy. : )
I have more doc app's coming up, OBGYN see what she says about getting prego soon probably gotta get the rest of this weight off which I am trying but been very frustrating as of late.
Forrest & Mandy are getting married on Halloween, got most of our Christmas shopping done, man again time is just flying by!
Well workout and housework is done time to play Aion til hubby gets home & then it will be movie/dinner time.
Harvest Revel - Halloween Event! AION!
During the fall harvest, from time immemorial, the people of Atreia have celebrated the bounty of the land. Years ago, the joy of the annual revels was troubled by an eclipse - a peculiar and magical eclipse that brought darkness to Asmodae and Elysea. Ever since, for days during Harvest Revel, the sky goes dark and the peoples of Atreia join the hunt.
Asmodians find soothing peace during the dark days of the Harvest Revel. They celebrate by racing after the Wild Kurthanir hunt leader during the Wild Hunt and cooking special traditional dishes.
Elyos endure the dark days because during them the dead of Elysea are restless. Undead creatures rise from the grave every few hours, pulled back into a semblance of life by the power of the eclipse. Elyos must join roving Dark Night bands to hunt and destroy the undead before they invade Elyos villages.
Log in each day during Harvest Revel. Celebrate with us and every day rewards your investment with new Aion lore and tasty treats!
Harvest Revel
Begin: October 25, 2009
End: October 31, 2009
May your wings be strong and swift! We'll see you in Atreia!
http://na.aiononline.com/board/notices/view?articleID=130&page=
Asmodians find soothing peace during the dark days of the Harvest Revel. They celebrate by racing after the Wild Kurthanir hunt leader during the Wild Hunt and cooking special traditional dishes.
Elyos endure the dark days because during them the dead of Elysea are restless. Undead creatures rise from the grave every few hours, pulled back into a semblance of life by the power of the eclipse. Elyos must join roving Dark Night bands to hunt and destroy the undead before they invade Elyos villages.
Log in each day during Harvest Revel. Celebrate with us and every day rewards your investment with new Aion lore and tasty treats!
Harvest Revel
Begin: October 25, 2009
End: October 31, 2009
May your wings be strong and swift! We'll see you in Atreia!
http://na.aiononline.com/board/notices/view?articleID=130&page=
Saturday, October 10, 2009
What Does Today Have In Store
Well it's now Saturday, feeling a lot better today minus the cats walking all over everything I am trying to accomplish lol. Let's see what did I get done today....
~ Helped hubby polish his boots for work
~ Dishes
~ Cleaned down the cupboards
~ Cleaned down & out the microwave
~ Cleaned out the Fridge & Freezer
~ Cleaned down the counter tops
~ Swept & Mopped all floors
~ Cleaned the carpet in the bedroom
~ Made the bed
~ Cleaned the living room
~ Cleaned the bathroom
~ Laundry
Quite a few things really =)
I just got done eating a apple & a spoon of peanut butter, now I have my kitty on my lap, purring his ass off lol. We where to have a moving yard sale today but its TO COLD!
So now that things are all gravy, taking a day off from working out, I am going to kick back & play Aion til hubby gets home, speaking of he should be calling anytime from work on his lunch break to say HI & us tell one another how much we miss & love each other ^_^
I can't complain : )
~ Helped hubby polish his boots for work
~ Dishes
~ Cleaned down the cupboards
~ Cleaned down & out the microwave
~ Cleaned out the Fridge & Freezer
~ Cleaned down the counter tops
~ Swept & Mopped all floors
~ Cleaned the carpet in the bedroom
~ Made the bed
~ Cleaned the living room
~ Cleaned the bathroom
~ Laundry
Quite a few things really =)
I just got done eating a apple & a spoon of peanut butter, now I have my kitty on my lap, purring his ass off lol. We where to have a moving yard sale today but its TO COLD!
So now that things are all gravy, taking a day off from working out, I am going to kick back & play Aion til hubby gets home, speaking of he should be calling anytime from work on his lunch break to say HI & us tell one another how much we miss & love each other ^_^
I can't complain : )
Friday, October 09, 2009
The bitch has returned
I said if people can't keep there promises to me, the bitch will be back
Well guess what....
The bitch has returned
Some days I dunno if I even wanna have kids or lose the weight anymore, it's a dream of mine ya but I just dunno anymore. Today I just feel worthless & not good enough, I assume they are two different things heh. But I don't feel like me today, I started thinking about my Grandparents today & how much I miss them, how much I want to call them and say HI but I know I wont hear there voices again now that they are both gone =o(
My day started out ... It was okay
Then shit hit the fan.....
~ Facebook wont load/work (thxfully I know it's not my end)
~ Cat puked on the CLEAN SHEETS I just washed yesterday
~ Browsed though my history folder, shows I can't trust anyone on my fucking computer
~ Now not in any mood to do housework/workout
~ My self esteem went down a few 1000s of notches
~ Remind myself no more video buying FOR AGES
~ Hubby gets no Allowance til the new year
Among one thing after another, I do hope hubby is having a better day then I am.... I also logged into City of Heroes yesterday cause of the free weekend/double xp thing.... yeah bored with it still.... no teams where going on, quiet and of course the usual sillyness, I think people that break promises are bringing out the bitch in me for good.
Tonight is my soon to be sis in laws bridal party, I am not going either.
Well guess what....
The bitch has returned
Some days I dunno if I even wanna have kids or lose the weight anymore, it's a dream of mine ya but I just dunno anymore. Today I just feel worthless & not good enough, I assume they are two different things heh. But I don't feel like me today, I started thinking about my Grandparents today & how much I miss them, how much I want to call them and say HI but I know I wont hear there voices again now that they are both gone =o(
My day started out ... It was okay
Then shit hit the fan.....
~ Facebook wont load/work (thxfully I know it's not my end)
~ Cat puked on the CLEAN SHEETS I just washed yesterday
~ Browsed though my history folder, shows I can't trust anyone on my fucking computer
~ Now not in any mood to do housework/workout
~ My self esteem went down a few 1000s of notches
~ Remind myself no more video buying FOR AGES
~ Hubby gets no Allowance til the new year
Among one thing after another, I do hope hubby is having a better day then I am.... I also logged into City of Heroes yesterday cause of the free weekend/double xp thing.... yeah bored with it still.... no teams where going on, quiet and of course the usual sillyness, I think people that break promises are bringing out the bitch in me for good.
Tonight is my soon to be sis in laws bridal party, I am not going either.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
45lbs Gone!!
Well hubby just got done 2 days off & we had a BLAST!
Watching movies, getting things cleaned up & renovation wise stuff, errands, lunch together, etc etc TONS OF FUN!
ALSO!
As of today 45lbs GONE!
I probably could of done more but I know I slipped up quite a bit with Grandma passing and me being very upset I couldn't make the funeral I know she would understand but still I ate junk food galore for a couple days and didn't watch my carb/cal count. I am still upset and sad shes gone but I need to get on track, we wanna start a family & have a big family so well you know!
I started seeing a new doctor too, he has me eating whatever just whole grain no giving up bread, pasta and rice and potatoes like that other doctor, but I have to keep it in moderation of course. I had fries the other day (small) from a diner we go to, with a turkey Ruben let me tell you YUMMMMMMMY! I forgot how good it tasted! Had Chinese while back to watched my counts of course, but had some Lo Mein YUM! lol. Feels great to eat this stuff again and lose the weight too! I hope this keeps up! *knock on wood* And things will go alright with my test results cause I hope by the new year or next spring we get the go ahead on starting a family, it would be great... selling this house for a bigger one, get the okay to start a family, be absolutely awesome! Here is to hoping!
Well as of today 55lbs to my goal of 150lbs but according to the weight/height chart it's saying my max ideal weight is 130-145.... I will just have to see what my doc and my OBGYN says. I did 15 miles on my bike in 45 mins the other day, have to see what I can do today.
I wanna get back in shape and fit like I was 10 years ago... I used to be skinny Minnnie but I had some muscle curves cause I hit the gym ALOT but I don't wanna go back to being that thin but muscle wise is good but that was to thin waist wise ... After I quit smoking (9 years ago) I gained 110lbs... junk food and fast food was my friend for cravings I gained that weight in about 6 - 12 months, having a ex-boyfriend who was lazy as fuck didn't help matters as well as friends that where on the big side too. Now time to get on track not just for me but hubby and our future kids so we can all have a long life together ^_^
Also having the support & encouragement from all you friends has been a awesome help too, thank you!! I love you guys! <3
Watching movies, getting things cleaned up & renovation wise stuff, errands, lunch together, etc etc TONS OF FUN!
ALSO!
As of today 45lbs GONE!
I probably could of done more but I know I slipped up quite a bit with Grandma passing and me being very upset I couldn't make the funeral I know she would understand but still I ate junk food galore for a couple days and didn't watch my carb/cal count. I am still upset and sad shes gone but I need to get on track, we wanna start a family & have a big family so well you know!
I started seeing a new doctor too, he has me eating whatever just whole grain no giving up bread, pasta and rice and potatoes like that other doctor, but I have to keep it in moderation of course. I had fries the other day (small) from a diner we go to, with a turkey Ruben let me tell you YUMMMMMMMY! I forgot how good it tasted! Had Chinese while back to watched my counts of course, but had some Lo Mein YUM! lol. Feels great to eat this stuff again and lose the weight too! I hope this keeps up! *knock on wood* And things will go alright with my test results cause I hope by the new year or next spring we get the go ahead on starting a family, it would be great... selling this house for a bigger one, get the okay to start a family, be absolutely awesome! Here is to hoping!
Well as of today 55lbs to my goal of 150lbs but according to the weight/height chart it's saying my max ideal weight is 130-145.... I will just have to see what my doc and my OBGYN says. I did 15 miles on my bike in 45 mins the other day, have to see what I can do today.
I wanna get back in shape and fit like I was 10 years ago... I used to be skinny Minnnie but I had some muscle curves cause I hit the gym ALOT but I don't wanna go back to being that thin but muscle wise is good but that was to thin waist wise ... After I quit smoking (9 years ago) I gained 110lbs... junk food and fast food was my friend for cravings I gained that weight in about 6 - 12 months, having a ex-boyfriend who was lazy as fuck didn't help matters as well as friends that where on the big side too. Now time to get on track not just for me but hubby and our future kids so we can all have a long life together ^_^
Also having the support & encouragement from all you friends has been a awesome help too, thank you!! I love you guys! <3
Friday, October 02, 2009
Double XP Weekend and Account Reactivation !
Yeah... Ill prolly just log on to make toons and play with my power colors, still having to much fun with Aion =P ....... Well depends if we are having the yard sale next weekend too D=
We're celebrating the recent launch of Issue 16: Power Spectrum in style by offering all our players a Double XP weekend! But that's not all, all inactive accounts in good standing will also be given access to City of Heroes and City of Villains® during the Double XP weekend!
Here are the dates and times:
* Starts: Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:59 a.m. Pacific Time (11:59 a.m. Eastern Time)
* Ends: Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time (2:59 a.m. Eastern Time)
All participating Hero and Villain characters will receive double the XP, Influence, and Infamy for their accomplishments in game. Just log in to start playing and take advantage of this opportunity to level up your favorite Heroes and Villains twice as quickly as normal!
If you or any of your friends haven't played in a while, visit City of Heroes for all the latest game news and to learn more about Issue 16: Power Spectrum. Download the PC game client or the Mac game client, or visit our official message forums for a wealth of information.
Please note: if your account expires after the reactivation weekend has started, it will not get automatically reactivated. To participate in the Double XP Weekend, you will need to reactivate your account via the usual method. Please check our Knowledge Base for more information on how to reactivate your game account.
We're celebrating the recent launch of Issue 16: Power Spectrum in style by offering all our players a Double XP weekend! But that's not all, all inactive accounts in good standing will also be given access to City of Heroes and City of Villains® during the Double XP weekend!
Here are the dates and times:
* Starts: Thursday, October 8, 2009 at 8:59 a.m. Pacific Time (11:59 a.m. Eastern Time)
* Ends: Sunday, October 11, 2009 at 11:59 p.m. Pacific Time (2:59 a.m. Eastern Time)
All participating Hero and Villain characters will receive double the XP, Influence, and Infamy for their accomplishments in game. Just log in to start playing and take advantage of this opportunity to level up your favorite Heroes and Villains twice as quickly as normal!
If you or any of your friends haven't played in a while, visit City of Heroes for all the latest game news and to learn more about Issue 16: Power Spectrum. Download the PC game client or the Mac game client, or visit our official message forums for a wealth of information.
Please note: if your account expires after the reactivation weekend has started, it will not get automatically reactivated. To participate in the Double XP Weekend, you will need to reactivate your account via the usual method. Please check our Knowledge Base for more information on how to reactivate your game account.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Heartbroken....
No other words describe how I feel right now, these feelings been eating me alive for almost a month now, I miss Grandpa & Grandma so much it hurts. I wish I could pick up the phone & call just to say, "Hi" knowing deep down hearing there voice would make me happy but all I can hear at the other end is dial tone knowing I will never hear there voices again only though the memories that flood my head daily. The blanket that sits on the back of my chair still smells like there home, knowing in time that smell will fade I wish it wouldn't.
As I sit here sleepless as my tears blind my sight, listening to my husband snore getting rest for the both of us I wonder to myself if he is truly happy, he says he is but some days I wonder, I don't dought my own husband I just know deep down he is like me, wanting the family we both dream of, but as of this moment it isn't possible due to my health condition and some days I feel as if I have failed him, I know in time I will get better and lose the weight I need to, bring my insulin down and be on track. But when is the question I ask myself, sure I have lost almost 42lbs in almost 6 months (as of the 21st) but to me that isn't enough, I push hard everyday to hard some days to the point where I know it hurts my body physically. It's hard knowing we been married almost 5 years and no children have entered our lives as of yet. I know Grandma always told me your time will come just wait, but the thing is I am almost 28 he is almost 34, I just wonder if we will start to feel to old before our chance comes, and I don't want that reason I push more everyday. I see friends, family around me getting pregnant for the first time, second, sometimes 3rd or 4Th, I get so jealous and frustrated, feeling left out, as I've failed, failed the one I love with all my heart, I do know I have the best husband in the world & he is everything to me.
But It hurts, when will these pains go away.....
As I sit here sleepless as my tears blind my sight, listening to my husband snore getting rest for the both of us I wonder to myself if he is truly happy, he says he is but some days I wonder, I don't dought my own husband I just know deep down he is like me, wanting the family we both dream of, but as of this moment it isn't possible due to my health condition and some days I feel as if I have failed him, I know in time I will get better and lose the weight I need to, bring my insulin down and be on track. But when is the question I ask myself, sure I have lost almost 42lbs in almost 6 months (as of the 21st) but to me that isn't enough, I push hard everyday to hard some days to the point where I know it hurts my body physically. It's hard knowing we been married almost 5 years and no children have entered our lives as of yet. I know Grandma always told me your time will come just wait, but the thing is I am almost 28 he is almost 34, I just wonder if we will start to feel to old before our chance comes, and I don't want that reason I push more everyday. I see friends, family around me getting pregnant for the first time, second, sometimes 3rd or 4Th, I get so jealous and frustrated, feeling left out, as I've failed, failed the one I love with all my heart, I do know I have the best husband in the world & he is everything to me.
But It hurts, when will these pains go away.....
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Thoughts, Feelings & Updates...
Wow, been awhile since I updated, guess I should do this more often. But kind of hard when life is so busy. Hubby started a new job back in May more pay + 100% medical for him and I and whatever kids we have when the time comes, which is great!
March 2009 I got diagnosed with high insulin, not high enough to be diabetic but high enough that my body was having a period 24/7 & telling me to get things on track with diet and exercise. I started out at 51 inch waist & 250lbs, yeah ouch, I didn't realize. I quit smoking over 9 years ago, I still couldn't believe I was so big, having a ex-boyfriend who was over weight before I met hubby didn't help I know that much and the fact cause he ate out pretty much all the time. When hubby and I met back in late winter 2005 I didn't think I was that big cause I was starting to exercise after my ex went to work, I weighed about 205lbs or so. So I thought anyways, I know I gained weight since cause I got comfortable, to comfortable that happens with everyone. Well here I am almost 6 months after being diagnosed and 42lbs lighter and 14 inches gone. Only thing is til things get under control and I lose (to my goal) 58 more lbs then hopefully I can get the OK to start trying for a family, which I want the OK come my birthday or Christmas only thing I want this year really.
Which brings me to my next bit of updates, August 2009 Grandma broke her hip they put the pins in and gave her meds to help the pain. I thought things where going to be OK. Turns out she wouldn't eat, tossed her hearing aid to the floor, same with her glasses and said, " I just want to be with Grandpa." As soon as I heard this from my Aunt it broke my heart into a million pieces. I love my Grandmother she is more like a mother as my Grandfather is more like a father to me. They are everything to me. Days went by where I was paying the bills hoping to squeeze money from somewhere. Ever since hubby started his new job money had been a little tight not a bunch just to the point we where not getting much back into savings cause our savings we did have went to his new gear, which was fine. Bills where getting paid so that was fine. But deep down I knew Grandma would understand why I wasn't there. My father in law offered to pay part of a bus ticket but I just couldn't he was/is going though some stuff of his own. Few more days passed then our phone started to get weird lines crossing, static, annoying. Some reason I knew in my heart something was about to happen, sure enough my Uncle Gary called to say Grandma had passed away. I could barley hear him because of the static but I knew what he had said. My heart broke, shattered into a million pieces, I am slowly still picking up the pieces to this day. It's been very hard. But I know she is where she wanted to be, with Grandpa.
Other then that things are still on the go with renovation work, doing pretty good, father in law and I got the outside trim painted, hubby and I got the basement half way cleaned up, got some stuff tossed out to big item pickup, living room finished, spare room finished, master bedroom is close just need some paint on the ceiling, new ceiling fan, new closet doors and we can move our stuff back in there. Kitchen and driveway and basement are the last of things with a bit of odds and ends, we should be ready to go come spring and put the house up so we can buy a bigger one, this one is to small for a family.
Other then that I started beta testing/playing a new online game, "Aion" It's a fantasy MMO. I tried getting back into City of Heroes but I just can't after 5.5 years I have gotten very burned out, new updates look cool but I am ready for a change.
I am very tired these past few weeks, I think I am coming down with a cold or something, but at the same time I feel very unattractive and just want to be left alone. It might have to do with the weight loss I don't know. I just can't wait for Aion to start so I can get some of this stress off my shoulders and kill things in a online game to release stress and anger. Doesn't help when people poke at me to do things I already know and have on my list of things to do, reason I snap sometimes, very frustrating. I just can't wait til we move and this headache is over with all this renovation crap. I just want to say ENOUGH!
March 2009 I got diagnosed with high insulin, not high enough to be diabetic but high enough that my body was having a period 24/7 & telling me to get things on track with diet and exercise. I started out at 51 inch waist & 250lbs, yeah ouch, I didn't realize. I quit smoking over 9 years ago, I still couldn't believe I was so big, having a ex-boyfriend who was over weight before I met hubby didn't help I know that much and the fact cause he ate out pretty much all the time. When hubby and I met back in late winter 2005 I didn't think I was that big cause I was starting to exercise after my ex went to work, I weighed about 205lbs or so. So I thought anyways, I know I gained weight since cause I got comfortable, to comfortable that happens with everyone. Well here I am almost 6 months after being diagnosed and 42lbs lighter and 14 inches gone. Only thing is til things get under control and I lose (to my goal) 58 more lbs then hopefully I can get the OK to start trying for a family, which I want the OK come my birthday or Christmas only thing I want this year really.
Which brings me to my next bit of updates, August 2009 Grandma broke her hip they put the pins in and gave her meds to help the pain. I thought things where going to be OK. Turns out she wouldn't eat, tossed her hearing aid to the floor, same with her glasses and said, " I just want to be with Grandpa." As soon as I heard this from my Aunt it broke my heart into a million pieces. I love my Grandmother she is more like a mother as my Grandfather is more like a father to me. They are everything to me. Days went by where I was paying the bills hoping to squeeze money from somewhere. Ever since hubby started his new job money had been a little tight not a bunch just to the point we where not getting much back into savings cause our savings we did have went to his new gear, which was fine. Bills where getting paid so that was fine. But deep down I knew Grandma would understand why I wasn't there. My father in law offered to pay part of a bus ticket but I just couldn't he was/is going though some stuff of his own. Few more days passed then our phone started to get weird lines crossing, static, annoying. Some reason I knew in my heart something was about to happen, sure enough my Uncle Gary called to say Grandma had passed away. I could barley hear him because of the static but I knew what he had said. My heart broke, shattered into a million pieces, I am slowly still picking up the pieces to this day. It's been very hard. But I know she is where she wanted to be, with Grandpa.
Other then that things are still on the go with renovation work, doing pretty good, father in law and I got the outside trim painted, hubby and I got the basement half way cleaned up, got some stuff tossed out to big item pickup, living room finished, spare room finished, master bedroom is close just need some paint on the ceiling, new ceiling fan, new closet doors and we can move our stuff back in there. Kitchen and driveway and basement are the last of things with a bit of odds and ends, we should be ready to go come spring and put the house up so we can buy a bigger one, this one is to small for a family.
Other then that I started beta testing/playing a new online game, "Aion" It's a fantasy MMO. I tried getting back into City of Heroes but I just can't after 5.5 years I have gotten very burned out, new updates look cool but I am ready for a change.
I am very tired these past few weeks, I think I am coming down with a cold or something, but at the same time I feel very unattractive and just want to be left alone. It might have to do with the weight loss I don't know. I just can't wait for Aion to start so I can get some of this stress off my shoulders and kill things in a online game to release stress and anger. Doesn't help when people poke at me to do things I already know and have on my list of things to do, reason I snap sometimes, very frustrating. I just can't wait til we move and this headache is over with all this renovation crap. I just want to say ENOUGH!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
AION OPEN BETA!
OPEN BETA - SEPT 6th - 13th ... PRESELECTION - 18th ... 2 DAY HEADSTART - 20th ... HELLZ YA! ~ This waiting is killing meh though!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Canadian scientist aims to turn chickens into dinosaurs
Can you say DUMBASS if he succeeds.... We could lose all of humanity ...... STUPID ASS
Monday, August 17, 2009
Beta 6 Over *cry*
It was amazing fun, so sad it's over, Can't wait for Open beta, shit I can't wait til the game comes out!! Well on another plus note our buddy Bruce is gonna sell me his old Hard Drive (300gb) so.... I will play both City of Heroes & Aion that way I don't get burned, only thing though only one CoH account and one Aion account not 2 and 2, hehe. :)
Plus note again last I checked down 38lbs and almost 13inches, but I need to re-weigh and re-measure, well time to go make up some dinner for hubby, he just got home from work. <3
Plus note again last I checked down 38lbs and almost 13inches, but I need to re-weigh and re-measure, well time to go make up some dinner for hubby, he just got home from work. <3
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
AION BETA 6 IS THIS WEEKEND!
Can I say, "YAY!"
I personally can't wait I been having serious withdrawals!!
I got a buncha stuff I need to do tomorrow I been working on some today too, I been so busy! After this beta I will waiting for open beta, I hear we can make our toons ahead of time before the head start if we pre-ordered which I am looking forward to cause I am taking my name on EVERY server and no one better take it or I will be pissed!
*jumps up and down*
hehehe I can't wait !!!!!!
I personally can't wait I been having serious withdrawals!!
I got a buncha stuff I need to do tomorrow I been working on some today too, I been so busy! After this beta I will waiting for open beta, I hear we can make our toons ahead of time before the head start if we pre-ordered which I am looking forward to cause I am taking my name on EVERY server and no one better take it or I will be pissed!
*jumps up and down*
hehehe I can't wait !!!!!!
Sunday, August 09, 2009
Dear Grandma
Dear Grandma,
I wish I could be there, to say my good-bye's, words can't describe how I feel right now, tears and sadness that fills my heart, but at the same time the warm memories and happiness. But I know deep in my heart you understand and I understand you are where you wanted to be, with Grandpa.
Growing up the first six years of my life I will never forget, they where the best first six years of my life, you and Grandpa had taught me so many things how to share, how to love, grow and be happy and so much more. After I had left your home I knew I wasn't happy anymore I wanted to go back and be with you. But I knew in my heart things happened for a reason and God had a plan for me, you and Grandpa had taught me that.
Over the years that had passed even when we couldn't be together I knew you and Grandpa where always there for me, a phone call away, picking up a pen and paper and writing one another, or a car ride away. You both had always had been there for me no matter what, whenever I needed you and you needed me we knew how to find one another.
To this day, to me you are my parents the Mother and Father I have always dreamed about and wanted in life, reason I am proud to call you Mom and Dad as you both where always proud to call me your daughter, "The only daughter you had after five boys" you would tell me and everyone around us. But now I know you both are watching over our family, and me making sure I stay a good girl, as you would always say to me "Be a good girl Tina, stay out of trouble", I hope I can continue to make you both proud and stay out of trouble, be that good girl, and you know, I plan on it.
Just know Joel and I love and miss you both very much. You have both touched our hearts and will remain in our hearts, forever. Til the day we are all together again. We love you Mom and Dad. Thanks for everything you have taught me and always being there for me, I wouldn't be who I am today without your love and guidance.
Tina & Joel
I wish I could be there, to say my good-bye's, words can't describe how I feel right now, tears and sadness that fills my heart, but at the same time the warm memories and happiness. But I know deep in my heart you understand and I understand you are where you wanted to be, with Grandpa.
Growing up the first six years of my life I will never forget, they where the best first six years of my life, you and Grandpa had taught me so many things how to share, how to love, grow and be happy and so much more. After I had left your home I knew I wasn't happy anymore I wanted to go back and be with you. But I knew in my heart things happened for a reason and God had a plan for me, you and Grandpa had taught me that.
Over the years that had passed even when we couldn't be together I knew you and Grandpa where always there for me, a phone call away, picking up a pen and paper and writing one another, or a car ride away. You both had always had been there for me no matter what, whenever I needed you and you needed me we knew how to find one another.
To this day, to me you are my parents the Mother and Father I have always dreamed about and wanted in life, reason I am proud to call you Mom and Dad as you both where always proud to call me your daughter, "The only daughter you had after five boys" you would tell me and everyone around us. But now I know you both are watching over our family, and me making sure I stay a good girl, as you would always say to me "Be a good girl Tina, stay out of trouble", I hope I can continue to make you both proud and stay out of trouble, be that good girl, and you know, I plan on it.
Just know Joel and I love and miss you both very much. You have both touched our hearts and will remain in our hearts, forever. Til the day we are all together again. We love you Mom and Dad. Thanks for everything you have taught me and always being there for me, I wouldn't be who I am today without your love and guidance.
Tina & Joel
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
Rest In Peace Grandma - May 2nd 1916 - Aug 5th 2009
Words Can't describe how I feel right now only the tears that roll down my cheeks. Just after 2pm today I got the call, Grandma passed away =(
I am broken and shattered into a million pieces right now I feel part of me is empty as for the other feelings I just can't feel right now. Id call friends and family right now but the phone is broke.
I want to go out tonight and have a quiet dinner with hubby....
After Grandma broke her hip they put pins in but she wouldn't eat, they tired a feeding tube but all they got was blood, Grandma didn't want her hearing aid or glasses all she kept saying is she wanted to be with grandpa. Grandpa Passed away December 27Th 2007 @ the age of 93, Today August 5Th 2009 Grandma passed @ the age of 93.
It's been hard, I love and miss them both ... I am proud to call them Mom & Dad.
Til we all meet again
I am broken and shattered into a million pieces right now I feel part of me is empty as for the other feelings I just can't feel right now. Id call friends and family right now but the phone is broke.
I want to go out tonight and have a quiet dinner with hubby....
After Grandma broke her hip they put pins in but she wouldn't eat, they tired a feeding tube but all they got was blood, Grandma didn't want her hearing aid or glasses all she kept saying is she wanted to be with grandpa. Grandpa Passed away December 27Th 2007 @ the age of 93, Today August 5Th 2009 Grandma passed @ the age of 93.
It's been hard, I love and miss them both ... I am proud to call them Mom & Dad.
Til we all meet again
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