THE BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN

Your Clothes:


1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYNconfirms your pregnancy.

2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.

3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

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Preparing for the Birth:


1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.

2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last time, breathingdidn't do a thing.

3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month.

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The Layette:


1st baby: You pre-wash newborn's clothes, color-coordinate them, and foldthem neatly in the baby's little bureau.

2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discardonly the ones with the darkest stains.

3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?

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Worries:


1st baby: At the first sign of distress--a whimper, a frown--you pick upthe baby.

2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake yourfirstborn.

3rd baby: You teach your three-year-old how to rewind the mechanicalswing.

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Pacifier:


1st baby: If the pacifier falls on the floor, you put it away until youcan go home and wash and boil it.

2nd baby: When the pacifier falls on the floor, you squirt it off withsome juice from the baby's bottle.

3rd baby: You wipe it off on your shirt and pop it back in.

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Diapering:


1st baby: You change your baby's diapers every hour, whether they need itor not.

2nd baby: You change their diaper every two to three hours, if needed.

3rd baby: You try to change their diaper before others start to complainabout the smell or you see it sagging to their knees.

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Activities:


1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and BabyStory Hour.

2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics.

3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner.

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Going Out:


1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call homefive times.

2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave anumber where you can be reached.

3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she seesblood.

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At Home:


1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby.

2nd baby: You spend a bit of everyday watching to be sure your older childisn't squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.

3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.

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Swallowing Coins (a favorite):


1st child: When first child swallows a coin, you rush the child to thehospital and demand x-rays.

2nd child: When second child swallows a coin, you carefully watch for thecoin to pass.

3rd child: When third child swallows a coin you deduct it from hisallowance!

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