Even More Pissed Off

First off....

Good news is I am finally down to 178lbs... about 15 months ago I was 255 or more... so yeah 77lbs lost is good right? *sigh* I didn't lose that by doing nothing and sitting on my fucking ass all day DID I ? NO!


Thing is I will NEVER understand people

I cook 3-4 meals a day
Laundry
Dishes
Cutting the Grass (once a week usually depending on how much rain we get)
Making the bed
Sweeping
Mopping
Cleaning out the fridge
Bathroom

the list goes on.......

Everyday same shit same ol crap everyday

and it doesn't stop once hubby gets home its a on going thing, even on his off days, I gotta cook clean and whatever...

I don't mind doing these things and staying home full time I really don't but when people say I need to step it up and do more or I am not doing enough

I GET VERY PISSED TO THE POINT I WANNA BREAK SHIT RUN CRY AND LEAVE THINGS FOR A WEEK JUST SO THEY SEE WHAT GETS DONE CAUSE WHEN I AM NOT DOING THINGS FOR A WEEK IT WILL PILE UP!

I AM ALSO TEMPTED TO TAKE MY FRIEND ON HER OFFER AND SWAP HUBBYS FOR A MONTH, SERIOUSLY!

I am just so angry anymore, hurt, sad I am sick of the stress of the house stuff, Ive only been saying for the last 5.5 years I don't wanna move again or sell the house, I love it! ~ Only reason we are looking to move is a bigger house for a family but even then with hubby's attitude as of late & his dad pissing me off to no end...... I dunno anymore! AND this attitude didn't start til we got closer and closer to getting the house on the market!

Seriously the guy that came to take pics yesterday says everything don't have to be 200% perfect cause people still live here... I told him after I shook my head YOU TELL MY FATHER IN LAW THAT! ~ Cause hes the one that wants it all in perfect shape and its stressing us all out ~ But serious it has hubby has turned into someone I don't even know hes bitching about not having a day off in a week, WELCOME TO MY WORLD! I never get a day off and when i go out with friends for a few hours to do girly stuff and he doesn't get dinner he turns into a JERK! ~ Please I know I spoiled him for the last 5.5 years being home all the time (when I wasn't working) ~ But now that I have a license and Im going out and doing things its like all hell is breaking lose SORRY FOR HAVING A LIFE & WANTING TO TAKE A MOMENT TO BREATHE! Fuck I wanna punch something or someone!

Gosh I feel smothered sometimes... its like I have a fucking curfew he calls when I am out to my friends phones or he wants to choose who I can hang out with I wanna say YES DAD! cause its what it feels like sometimes I wanna scream go hide and cry FUCK IM GROWN UP! Sure I am not working but its not like I don't do my chores and just go play I fucking do them! Sure sometimes Ill slack a bit or not cook cause I am out but 1 night you can't make one fucking meal!? ~ Now I know if I was with HIS FRIENDS I mean there my friends too but if I was with Kim or something I am sure he wouldn't be calling 3x in 5 mins!

I feel like I am dealing with a teenager! Mom when you coming home I am hungry FUCK OFF god its like living with my ex boyfriend again sometimes ... He would call 5mins after I get to work and know I wasn't getting off work for 8hrs and be like ..... when you coming home I am hungry...... FUCK OFF! there is chicken in the freezer the fingers you bake for 20mins ya those that he always wanted to buy cause they are quick.... ya im about to start buying those for hubby too cause you know what QUIT BEING LAZY! ~

Don't get me wrong im happy I get to stay home 100% of the time but when people want you here 24/7 and to baby them its like having kids and your how old? But again its my fault for doing everything... I said to myself I wasn't gonna do that anymore and its just habit ive done it and now its expected but seriously when we move its not gonna happen again cause I don't want people to expect things, My friend Scoot back in the day his mom did that cleaned everything for us cooked worked etc etc and gave us 20 bucks a day to go eat sometimes or spend on ourselves...

I AM NOT A MAID! PEOPLE SAYING I DON'T DO ENOUGH IS BS!

My doctor already told me my blood pressure is 1 point before high I mean FUCK! Hes pissed off and so I am I !!



Okay I am done ranting for now... I swear tomorrow I am going to hang out with Yoey I need time away or I am seriously gonna break something or smack someone!