DANIELLE BOLLINGER - Kiss the Sky <3

Emotion holds me captive
and it keeps me from the truth
No I don't know how I got here
but I know I'm missing you

And I know the day is coming
when I'll be back inside your arms
but as much as I believe it
that day seems so far

so I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I kiss the sky

Everytime the wind blows
I hear it call your name
and even in the darkness
I can see your face.
Every second brings my freedom
much closer into view.
So the ocean will not hold me and I'll be one with you.

5x
(and when) (so) I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved

I kiss the sky

Updates & Stuff

Well it's now Monday the 26th, wow where did time go?
Seriously, yesterday felt like the beginning of the month.
It's all good though :)
Past week or so been wonderful to hang out with a good friend of mine and play City Of Heroes, rest, relax, spend time with Scyko.
She's now doing alot better, I actually have the door open and letting her roam around she's been alright. Her tummy's been healing awesome. Going to wait until Thursday though to get the stitches out. I don't even think she remembers having the dish on her head now =oP
Other then that today was suppose to be D&D day, but not today :)
Actually pretty glad, I was getting so tired and it was wonderful to sleep in!
I slept until i think it was almost 1pm, went to bed about... 3:30am i think I can't even remember now.... But I could of slept some more but I had to get up and go to the store to get kitty litter and a few things to hold us over until Friday. So it's cool, who knows I might go back to bed soon ;)
Work was pretty good this weekend, kinda slow which was nice.
I think I've said it b4 but I wish we got commission, i would be so rich right now, hehe. But again it's all good :)
As for a trip back home, again not looking like anytime soon.
Which sucks, but I guess that's the way it's gotta be, just hope nothing happens in the mean time. Probably wont I'm sure all will be alright.
Well I am not sure what else to write, kinda just relaxing listening to Frank Sinatra, reminds me of when I lived with my grandparents as a kid, always had to fall asleep with it on and when it wasn't on I would tell grandpa or grandma to turn it on please :)
Last time I talked to grandma was a little while ago, there doing alright, still sucks they wont tell her about the cancer or treat her for it but I guess it's for the best.
Well I am going to check on a few more things then take a nap ^_^
Have a great day!

~Noire

I'm A Dork!

I can't sleep now
Scyko was wanting a bit of attention so I gave her some by scratching her ears and stuff.
It's cool, I thought I post again.
Don't know why but I was laying here Shania Twain's song " Love Gets Me Everytime " Started to play and I just had to get up and dance.
I am accually feeling better now for some weird reason about my outlook on the future.
Weird but true, I mean sure it's still scary but I am not to worried about things right now cause I don't have anything to worry about presently.
Thats why I am a dork, ive said this to myself others have said it to me, but i was just being stubborn maybe? dunno
Well time to shower and get all dolled up for work in a bit so im gonna go listen to a CD a friend bought me awhile back
Guess I am just silly but Im glad I have my best friend :)
Thank you

*dances and gets ready for work*

Edit - This doesn't mean I am now happy, just FYI

Can I Get A Ticket Please . . . .

I so need a vacation from life
I just want to take sometime away and go hang out with a friend or 2 or 3. Heh.
I want a day where I wake up when I want instead of waking up and my mind goes a mile a second cause after that happens I can't fall back to sleep. Some people I know can turn there minds off and just not worry about stuff.
I wish i could do that, I mean some days I can but others I can't.
You have guessed it.. This is kinda a rant post.
I mean there is also days I cry myself to sleep cause I am not happy
There I said it!
I miss my grandparents very much. Grandma is sick. This is the time of year I'd usually go back home for a visit but I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.
I would also like to take a trip to California, AZ, FL and just bunches of places to meet friends of mine from game, even those I don't talk to anymore cause I can't and it makes me really sad.
Plus with hubby working 7 days a week until who knows when .... blah ... money i know but still.
I just want what I want and need what I need and well um this is a silly post I know
But I seriously need to go take a hour nap b4 I gotta go to work
I just hope time goes by fast when I go, cause I have still been here in this room with Scyko and I really don't wanna leave her for to long by herself.
Anyways
L8R

~Noire


Edit - Another thing that makes me upset too is friends that are suppose to be your friends and stuff... that promised to keep in touch, you leave them msgs, comments then you just give up because they never return the comments or msgs and expect you not to be sad or upset or angery, or you call them a few times for a couple nights in a row and they don't answer. To me I have one best friend right now and he is a knight in shinning armor :) and my other friend who I very rarly talk to but I know shes there and shes a goddess :) I mean I have my friends In game too but these 2 stand out cause one im very close to and the other even though we don't chat we have that spiritual connection if that makes sence ;) she knows what I mean :)

What Kind Of Witch Am I ?

You are a Healing Witch!You are sympathetic and nurturing! you help creatures in need, and are always giving.

Quiz Results!

Your heart is pink. You're everyone's friend. Woo go you! Everyone loooves you!! You're the definition of a true friend, which is why you mean so much to your friends. You will do anything to see your friends smile, you have a great quality- don't change for anybody.

Updates & Stuff

Well another day is here, its been a pretty stressful week thus far. The weekend was alright though, had to work about 7 or so hours total. I really enjoy not working so much cause I can go in, sell the bath and body supplies to people then come home and relax, clean up, cook do what I need then sleep when I feel like it. As long as my stuff is getting done I don't tend to worry about much.

Although I do have alot going on in life and in my mind as it is, sometimes I just wish I could turn off alot of it and start all over again with no worries. But as they say it's life and one day those worries etc will go away :)

Anyways, as I said weekend was good, Monday was stressful due to taking Scyko in for surgery. I didn't want to take her in and put her though that but I know it was for the best :) Having a cat in heat just about 24/7 was getting very frustrating for us who knows what it was doing to her. I know that personally would drive me crazy if I was in heat that much and can't or couldn't do anything about it. After we picked her up and took her home she was a curious little monkey girl, I thought because she was still coming outta the anaesthetic (sp?) she would just hang out in the cage, nope she took off like crazy and ran! I was like ACK! Finally got her settled in the spare room, poor girl hates that dang dish on her head. I feel so bad for it too but can't have her licking her belly.

Well after getting her in the room i went to go get the litter box and food dish etc etc so she had everything she needed, she almost broke the freaking door down! She didn't wanna be by herself, hey which I can understand! So after getting everything I came and sat with her, she finally fell asleep. I then made a bed in here so I can sleep with her and keep her company since I don't have to go back to work until Saturday :) I got really board though so I moved my PC back in here, now i have a bed, Scyko, City of heroes and my friends I play and chat with. Only problem is when I'm hungry and have to leave for a few Min's she goes nuts! Last night I wanted to make food shower and get the dishes done while taking a quick break from game..... almost couldn't do it she was at it again with the door. Ahh well I finally got it all done and back in the room with her. She got happy and fell asleep :)

But that was my Monday/Tuesday. Today I woke up alot better after some good rest. Yesterday though I woke up after 3hrs rest to Scyko biting my chin and cheek waiting and wanting me to wake up. But it's all good :) I don't mind, but a good rest last night is what I needed. I got up did what I needed and started some food, shes sleeping again now so better get it done quick ;)

My plans for the rest of the day? Probably hit City Of Heroes, spend time with Scyko when she wakes up, sleep more if needed and well that's about it :) With hubby working 7 days a week until further notice I gotta amuse myself and take care of stuff somehow :)

Today is also a Wiccian Holiday for me! Happy Ostara!

March 21 -- Ostara -- Spring or The Vernal Equinox
Also known as: Lady Day or Alban Eiler (Druidic)

As Spring reaches its midpoint, night and day stand in perfect balance, with light on the increase. The young Sun God now celebrates a hierogamy (sacred marriage) with the young Maiden Goddess, who conceives. In nine months, she will again become the Great Mother. It is a time of great fertility, new growth, and newborn animals.

The next full moon (a time of increased births) is called the Ostara and is sacred to Eostre the Saxon Lunar Goddess of fertility (from whence we get the word estrogen, whose two symbols were the egg and the rabbit.

The Christian religion adopted these emblems for Easter which is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. The theme of the conception of the Goddess was adapted as the Feast of the Annunciation, occurring on the alternative fixed calendar date of March 25 Old Lady Day, the earlier date of the equinox. Lady Day may also refer to other goddesses (such as Venus and Aphrodite), many of whom have festivals celebrated at this time.

Traditional Foods:
Leafy green vegetables, Dairy foods, Nuts such as Pumpkin, Sunflower and Pine. Flower Dishes and Sprouts.

Herbs and Flowers:
Daffodil, Jonquils, Woodruff, Violet, Gorse, Olive, Peony, Iris, Narcissus and all spring flowers.

Incense:
Jasmine, Rose, Strawberry, Floral of any type.

Sacred Gemstone:
Jasper

Special Activities:
Planting seeds or starting a Magickal Herb Garden. Taking a long walk in nature with no intent other than reflecting on the Magick of nature and our Great Mother and her bounty.

Quiz' About Me ^_^

Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful, kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your almost angelic! You find joy in others happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in pain. You want to make everyone around you feel good about themselves and if someone is upset you can tend to become rather upset as well which means you are sympathetic and raise others above yourself. Being as kind and good-natured as you are people have most likely hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up every time. You may look fragile but you are stronger then most tend to see. Life is beautiful no matter how you look at it and you understand that people make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in the bad which is a talent few posses. Dont ever let anyone change you. You truly have a beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.

Updates!

Okay so I'm a bad blogger
I have not updated in awhile
BUT BUT
I have a excuse!
I been sick and to lazy to type anything so there!

Anyways, cold is finally breaking after a week and a couple days, life is pretty much the same, nothings changed as of yet. But hoping for a change soon.
Have to see what happens.
Good news the tax thing isn't as bad as I thought it would be so thats really sweet :)
Getting my one cat on monday fixed, then probably the other one since its so cheap to do, think its gonna be $85.oo for just one, thats half off thanks to the medical plan.
Lets see...
Oh finally got my controller to level 45 in City Of Heroes!
I get to see hami for the first time with her tonite!
YAY!

Um..
Not sure whatelse to write, but i need to go take some more DayQuil
So I am out :)

R.I.P Steven Grant Rogers

AKA Captain America
Legend & Hero


Feel Free To Check Out My Friends Pages To See What They Have To Say:

Pepsiman
BridgeCrew Dave
Palette

(Listed on the side bar)

My husband says:

"He will be back, he has died twice before, I am sure he will be back again"

For those of you who don't know who Steven Rogers is read below, found some information for you. (You never know, there maybe a person or 2 out there that don't know, I have ran into a couple already! o.o )




Captain America

In 1940, as America prepared for war, a frail young man volunteered for an experiment that transformed him into the ultimate physical specimen: the American Super-Soldier. Steve Rogers battled Nazis until a freak mishap placed him in suspended animation for decades. When he awakened, Rogers was truly a man out of time, though no less committed to fighting the evils of this perilous new era!

Real Name: Steven Grant Rogers

Group Affiliation: Avengers

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 240 lbs.

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Blond

Powers: Enhanced by the Super-Soldier Serum, Captain America's agility, strength, endurance, and reaction time are superior to those of an Olympic-level athlete. Also, Cap has mastered a number of fighting forms, including American-style boxing and judo. These abilities, combined with his indestructible shield, make him one of the finest human combatants Earth has ever known.

Weapons: Captain America's only weapon is his Vibranium shield, a concave disk 2 ½ feet in diameter that weighs 12 pounds. The shield's exceptional aerodynamic properties enable it to slice through the air with minimal wind resistance and deflection of path. The disk's unparalleled overall durability, coupled with a natural concentric stiffness, allows it to rebound off solid objects with minimal loss of angular momentum.

History: Born at the height of the Great Depression, Steve Rogers grew up a frail youth in a poor family. Horrified by newsreel footage of the Nazis overtaking Europe, Rogers was inspired to enlist in the Army. However, his sickly nature caused him to be rejected. Overhearing the boy's earnest plea, General Chester Phillips offered Rogers the opportunity to take part in a special experiment, Operation: Rebirth. After weeks of tests, Rogers was at last administered the Super-Soldier Serum and bombarded by "vita-rays". He emerged from the treatment with a body as perfect as a body can be and still be human. His conditioning continued: Rogers was subjected to an intensive physical and tactical training program. Three months later, he received his first assignment as Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty.

From the Pacific Theater to Eastern Europe, World War II was in full swing; the United States entered the fray with Captain America as its standard-bearer. The Allied forces fought tooth-and-nail against Hitler and the Axis powers, while Cap went toe-to-toe with the Aryan elitist Red Skull, Nazi technician Baron Zemo, and a whole host of vile creatures spawned by the Third Reich. He had help from other stalwart heroes, e.g., the super-powered Invaders; Sgt. Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos (a band of soldiers made famous by their foolhardy but brave combat style), and other G.I. Joes. Cap even took on a partner in his crusade against Hitler and the Nazi scourge: a boy named Bucky Barnes.

During the waning days of WWII, a bomb-loaded drone plane launched by Baron Zemo exploded with Cap and Bucky aboard, killing the youngster and hurling his mentor unhurt into the icy Arctic. The Super-Soldier Serum prevented the crystallization of Cap's bodily fluids, allowing him to enter a state of suspended animation. Decades later—when a confused, changing world most needed a throwback hero who embodied the American ideals—he was discovered and rescued by the newly-formed Avengers, where he became a cornerstone of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

But Cap was a man out of time: The world had gone on without him, and he no longer recognized it. This new status quo often causes Cap to question his role. For a short time, he became the hero he thought the world needed: Nomad. The apparent death of girlfriend Sharon Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent 13, reminded Cap that all people are prisoners of some manner of war—held captive not just through blood and sweat but also by beliefs and ideologies. Realizing he could not fight for a dream in which he no longer believed, Rogers again cast off the mantle of Captain America. He eventually reclaimed his heroic identity, but only to prove to the world that the American ideals are greater than the sum of any one governmental body.

Since Cap began fighting for the American Dream, he has embodied the essence of a hero. He doesn't earn a paycheck for laying his life on the line; he does it because it's the right thing to do.



© 2002 Marvel

Being Sick Sucks The Big One

Well last nite I took a short nap, I woke up with scratching feeling in my throat.
I figured I was just thirsty with a dry throat no biggie
Then it just got worse, I swear i went though almost a pack of halls, wasn't doing anything for it. I finally gave up and drank some water. Then started to get a fever, first words outta my mouth " Oh great just what I frappen need " . . .
Ah well its life, I never get sick, I very rarely do and when I do I'm sicker then sick.
I usually can catch it and get rid of it before it gets worse, if I have the right stuff laying around. Well I finally got the OJ and some fruit, but my husband forgot the throat spray and the other stuff. My bodies funny though, if I don't catch it before it gets worse, I'm totally screwed for about a week.
Oh well, that's life, Ill deal with it.

Hinder - Lips Of An Angel

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

Life

First off I wanna thank my ex for writing a blog about this cause it got me thinking... Well the new year has begun as you all know, lets see . . .

Where to begin, well lets start with what I want/wanted to accomplish this year kinda like resolutions ^_^ Hm....

Well I do want to get started on my cookbook and hopeful get it published and some sold, I already made my one myspace account back into a "me" profile instead of roleplay. As most of you can see. I was thinking of putting up some recipes and what not and get some feedback etc... which I have done a couple already and got some great feedback, Ill have more soon!

As for every year I made this promise to myself and I been doing great on it and I am going to continue . . . LOOSING WEIGHT! I've lost 10 inches in my waist since last year and that makes me SO HAPPY! Just a pain cause I need to go shopping every few months for new pants LOL, but hey Im happy so it's cool! I plan to keep going, I never used to be a big girl well not BIG HUGE BIG I don't even look like a size 16 but I do wear a lot of big clothes, but anyways! I used to be a size 6 back in my day then I quit smoking and oops I gained 100lbs but it happens. Better then killing myself with smoking and frap right?

Another thing I am promising myself is to be happy remain happy blah blah you get the picture. I mean don't get me wrong I do love certian things in my life and others its like blah whatever. But the day will come where I know Ill be more happy, I just wish I knew when and stuff. But thats up to me and all. I know that and I believe we are in charge of making ourselves happy y'know?

My art work, time to dust off my hands and fingers and start practicing again!

Singing - Yes I do sing most don't hear me but I do and those who have heard me, they became speechless ^_^

City Of Heroes/villains - I been playing this game since beta, but my old bf he deleted the account he says so when I moved to the USA I restarted a new account, I finally got Mistress Noire to level 50 in July of 2005 but I been wanting/needing to get another 50 its just altitus kicks in and well great! I have more toons to play, but Im gonna have to work on another toon most def and get another 50 if not 2 ^_^ .... As most know thats happening I got my controller half way to lvl 42 as of today!

Speaking of City Of Heroes/Villians... I would love to meet some of my friends I have known for awhile, who have become great friends who I care about very much and visa versa. I don't have many friends in life but the ones I do have or have had that I can't talk to anymore that I wish i could... I don't wanna lose friends y'know. Friends are what keeps most people. At least I know it does me. Heh, I just hope that made sence. (Please note im writing this b4 work, still half asleep)

Now my ex wrote in his blog about having a second chance at life, I wish that sometimes myself. There is so much I wish i could change... such as.... When I was 18 being asked to take on apprenticeship as a chef. I turned it down cause i wanted to work for awhile.. make some money then go. Well in that time I did that.. I also met my ex, moved around a bit then we moved in together and spent 5 years together... after I went back and asked about the course they told me it was a one time offer that they didn't tell me before *sigh* Frap happens its life! I then wanted to go to school but he told me that i "Had" to work full time too. Which sucked cause I knew I couldn't do it. So at that point I gave up on my dream in life and went with the flow until we split. I wish I could of changed that about being a chef NOT his and I's relationship!

Now I have that dream of being a stay at home mom one day and be happy yadda yadda, which I know will happen one day just working for it is what I need to do In more ways then one Time tells all. As for not having a direction in life, I know that feeling about parents just saying oh get a job, you will be fine. In some cases for some yeah, but this is one reason why if you can afford it for one parent to be home DO IT! Because kids need that love and support anymore and guidence in life. Heck I still need it sometimes!

Im sure there is more I can think of... but unfort I need to get my shoes and stuff on and head to work, selling beauty supplies FTW! hahaa JK!

But part of me is scared and part of me is anxious to see what my future will bring y'know?

My Seal Of Approval

Thanks http://www.says-it.com/seal/index.php and Tiny Neut for finding this!

The Illusionist

The Illusionist

Starring:

Edward Norton ... Eisenheim

Paul Giamatti ... Inspector Uhl

Jessica Biel ... Sophie

Rufus Sewell ... Crown Prince Leopold


Just to name a few....


I Finally got to watch this movie this morning!
I absolutly LOVED it!
I knew I would, but to watch it was awesome.
Edward Norton was a hottie as always.
I wont spoil it for anyone but I have to say I give it a 10 outta 10!
I have no negitive things to say about the movie.
So I guess this will be my post
I'm just speechless

<3

Sushi

Well today I went to the local Chinese buffet
Have not gone in quite awhile, figured hey why not!
I got done with my usual stuff I eat chicken yadda yadda, then I wanted dessert. The usual there as well. Ice Cream with Oreo cookie chunks. YUM!
But on my way past the salad bar I noticed.... Sushi!
I never had it before, I am not a sea food person, I will only eat tuna out of a can if any type of sea food comes to mind that I want.
Then I remembered couple times chatting with a great friend of mine, he was eating Sushi.
We chatted about it for awhile and that's when I said to myself, One day I will try it!

So today was the day I tried it!

Well after I grabbed it I headed back to my table and starred at it for about 5Min's, poking at it. I seriously poked at it and looked at it for 5 whole Min's!
I was told, " Just eat it! "
So I picked it up, put it in my mouth and chewed, wasn't to bad at first... couldn't taste the fishy. I only could taste the seaweed it was wrapped in and the rice which i found wasn't to bad. Then I got hit with the fish taste. After another min or so I couldn't handle it.

Come to find out by researching again on Sushi after I got home... they have soy sauce that you can dunk it in and the proper way to eat it. Well today is also the day I am promising myself to try Sushi again and find out the proper way to eat it and will do that next time.

Here is a picture I found closest to the Sushi I ate, the red arrows show you which one, plus mind you the one i had didn't look like that exact, they where skimpy on the ingredients. Well until the next time I try it again, this is one thing I wanted to do marked off my list and another added!

Have a great day!
~Noire

Ever Have One Of Those People In Your Life That.....

Ever have one of those people in your life that.....

~ Just make you want to scream?
~ Stab yourself in the eye with a spork?
~ Think there all that and then some but you know they are not!
~ Think there cool just because they think so?
~ When you hear there name or voice its like nails down a chalk board
~ Only msg or comment you when they want something, or just to get snotty with you?
~ Don't keep in touch but when they do seems like again... they want something

There is just some people like that... that just drive you nuts!
Im sure there is more, my mind just drew a blank, heh!
Must be because im being destracted over here, cats being funny etc....

gotta run though, company is coming over, have a movie and stuff planned later .... post more tomorrow probably

~Noire

Posting Cause....

I just wanted to say, Hope you all are having a good day.
I was feeling like crap the other day, *grumble*
Women body things, haha!
Im feeling a bit better now, I worked my beauty selling job yesterday, man i wish we got commision I would be so rich right now. I didn't go to my restraunt job today, over slept and all. Oh well, after them screwing me on my taxes I don't want to work for them at this point, at least until I get that shit organized.
I should be getting more hours at my beauty supplies stuff anyways, told them I am open for hours sat/sun/mon/tues so we will see and stuff, those days i can get a ride to and from easy.
I need to study again for my drivers licence.
Man I just wish i knew what my future had instored for me
There is so many things I want and need in life, people I want and need in my life and just alot of things. I know there is so much work involved but it will be worth it in the end.
Well time to check the city of heroes forums
im out!

~Noire

Danielle Bollinger - You'll Always Have Me

If the world turned against you
I would stand by you and fight
for you I would crawl through fire
for you I'd lay down my life

So if you ever lose all hope
and you've fallen to your knees
I need you to remember
you'll always have me

yeah you'll always have me
and you'll always have my love
if you find it hard to breathe
I'll be the air that fills your lungs

cuz you can lose your faith
you can lose your hope
you can lose your dignity
there's one thing you can count on you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always have me

I can still remember
the first time I saw your face
cuz baby when I saw your smile
I knew I'd never be the same

and even though sometimes we struggle and sometimes we even scream
Im gonna stand by you forever
yeah you'll always have me

yeah you'll always have me
and you'll always have my love
and if you find it hard to breathe
I'll be the air that fills your lungs

cuz you can lose your faith
you can lose your hope
you can lose your dignity
but there's one thing you can count on
yeah you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always have me ...


I really enjoy this song <3
Thank-You my dear friend
I love you

Tell Me About Yourself, The Survey

Name: Tina

Birthday: 12-07-81

Birthplace: London Ontario

Current Location: Missouri

Eye Color: bluegrey

Hair Color: Nautrally Dark Blonde - Dyed a reddish color

Height: 5'4''

Right Handed or Left Handed: right

Your Heritage: German, British, Russian, Canadian and American

The Shoes You Wore Today: my bare feets

Your Weakness: tickling

Your Fears: being alone

Your Perfect Pizza: meat and cheese! Lots of it!

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Getting my cookbook finished, losing more
weight ... few other things

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: eh? frap, lol, hehe, heh

Thoughts First Waking Up: Do I have to work today?

Your Best Physical Feature: I been told eyes and smile

Your Bedtime: when i feel like it

Your Most Missed Memory: Spending time with my grandparents, and my best friend

Pepsi or Coke: DEW! Its all about the dew baby!

MacDonalds or Burger King: fast food makes me sick. - ditto

Single or Group Dates: single

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I make my own :)

Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

Cappuccino or Coffee: half and half

Do you Smoke: no - I quit at 18 - smoked since i was 11

Do you Swear: yup I do... bad I know

Do you Sing: i do yes :)

Do you Shower Daily: yup or every other

Have you Been in Love: yes

Do you want to go to College: yes... id love to but i can't afford it

Do you want to get Married: I am..

Do you belive in yourself: I do yes somedays and somedays Im not so sure but overall, yes :)

Do you get Motion Sickness: not that im aware

Do you think you are Attractive: I been told I am but me myself... sometimes

Are you a Health Freak: far from it

Do you get along with your Parents: I consider my grandparents my parents so yes i do :)

Do you like Thunderstorms: love is a more appropriate term... - ditto

Do you play an Instrument: Keyboard & Drums .... havn't in awhile though

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No I havn't

In the past month have you Smoked: Nope

In the past month have you been on Drugs: No unless Midol counts, heh

In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yeah i work there...

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nope, my homemade cookies!

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, I don't like seafood but a good friend
of mine has talked me into trying it... one day i think i will :)

In the past month have you been on Stage: nope

In the past month have you been Dumped: no

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i've never skinny dipped

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no... i haven't stolen anything since i was a kid

Ever been Drunk: quite a few times

Ever been called a Tease: yes... o.o

Ever been Beaten up: No

Ever Shoplifted: when i was like 8

How do you want to Die: i don't know, death is scary

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Stay at home mom, author of quite a few cookbooks...

What country would you most like to Visit: Japan

In a Boy/Girl..

Favourite Eye Color: doesn't matter to me

Favourite Hair Color: doesn't matter to me

Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter to me but i do like long hair

Height: taller then me lol

Weight: doesn't matter to me

Best Clothing Style: comfortable

Number of Drugs I have taken: only percription...

Number of CDs I own: i need more.. not sure how many i have though

Number of Piercings: 4 - in my ears 2 on each side

Number of Tattoos: none

Number of things in my Past I Regret: i don't really regret anything... everything is a learning experience... ditto

My Grandparents & Leukemia

Well as most of you know from my last blog about my grandmother she has Leukemia. At this point I don't know what my emotions should be. I am happy she is back home and feeling better but then at the sametime I am sad they will not tell her. Let alone try the treatments but I guess there right since she is so weak and because of her age. So my emotions and worrys are everywhere. But I do hope by April I can go back home for a visit even though I was hoping for June but we will see what happens I guess.

I wanted to write a bit of the history of why I am so close to my grandparents, most of you know that I always been close to them. They have been more like a mom and dad to me then a grandma and grandpa. But overall they have been both. Reason why . . .
Well when I was born my mother was sick and unable to take care of me, so my father had asked my grandparents (his parents) if they can take care of me, also because my dad was a truck driver and he was never around. They agreed and raised me for 6 awesome years of my life. Those I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I was spoiled of course because after my grandmother having 5 boys I had became her only daughter and she still thinks of me as her only daughter even to this day.

After I turned 6 my dad had met and planned to remarry to my step mom, guess though those years and being so young I didn't know about my parents split. Meh, it happens I guess. But my step mom to be had a daughter and of course I wanted to have someone to play with. So I left my grandparents and went to live with my dad and step mom to be. Little did I know about the Cinderella life that was ahead of me. But I got though it after 6 years of hell. If I could turn back time and stayed with my grandparents I sure would but at the sametime it's okay now the past is the past.

But overall over the past 25 years of my life, grandma and grandpa have always been here for me no matter what and they still are, even though I am now 900 miles away. They always said to me they will go no where until I am happy and they know I am happy.

Well time will tell eh?

~Noire

Edit.. I found out what type its called myelodysplastic syndrome

Leukemia

Well today I got news about my grandmother..
Turns out she has Leukemia, they wont even tell her.
They also said they wont even treat her for it because of her age (91) they are afraid she wont recover from the treatment cause shes already weak as it is.
I wish I could get back up home and see her
I hate being so far away...
Well I am gonna do some cleaning up and baking, get my mind off things.
Ill post more soon

~Noire

Another Day . . . .

Well another day is here, got up this morning I think it was about 6, checked msgs then went back to bed. Surprsing since I went to bed about midnight. Well the day started good, got a wake up but I just laid there, didn't wanna move. The bed was so warm and comfortable. I was still tired too so I just wanted to say, "leave me be please!" *giggle*

Well I finally got my ass outta bed moments later, frap!! it was so cold! the house was like a ice box!! I wanted to curl back up in bed but instead I ran to the bathroom and started getting ready to go, it was Dungons and Dragons day after all!! But my bed! so warm and comfortable and i had 5 cats keeping me warm! Oh well its all good! Be there again tonight!

We got over to my brother in laws, was getting ready to play and our one friend had some errends and such to do so we decided to play "Greed Quest" while waiting for him to show up, my bro in law won the first game, luck!!! luck!! I tell you!! Then second game my husband won then I finally won! Over all it was a fun and exciting game, we played a few more rounds when our friend showed up, after that our friend left he had to run to work. So I jumped up and watched my soaps "days of our lives" and "passions" while the guys went though the spell books and stuff. After all that we watched "The People's Court" then I went and played some World Of Warcraft on my bro's account while the guys rolled up another character for D&D. Then we watched Iron Man.. I think thats what it was called, then we finally called it a day because my husband had been up for almost 24hrs.

I got home was getting ready to jump into my game: City Of Heroes/Villians, while hubby went to get some sleep and I got a msg from my cuz, I hardly ever hear from them. I never hear from my family hardly EVER! But he had told me my grandma is in the hospital, she got rushed there yesterday morning. She has low blood pressure and she hasn't been eating as of late and been down with a cold. I know they just been moving alot recently too into a nursing home. Its got me worried because grandma will be 91 this May, Grandpa will be 93. I hate to worry, but I know grandma would be telling me to keep strong she will be alright, to keep my chin up and stay positive. So thats what I am gonna do, thats all I can do.

Kinda weird cause I had a feeling about this the other day.. something was happening back home...

Well Anyways... I think Im gonna make a sandwich and play CoH/V for a bit, i gotta work a few hours tomorrow so... I need to sleep at a decent time tonight I think ^_^

Imbolc

Imbolc, (pronounced "IM-bulk" or "EM-bowlk"), also called Oimealg, ("IM-mol'g), by the Druids, is the festival of the lactating sheep. It is derived from the Gaelic word "oimelc" which means "ewes milk". Herd animals have either given birth to the first offspring of the year or their wombs are swollen and the milk of life is flowing into their teats and udders. It is the time of Blessing of the seeds and consecration of agricultural tools. It marks the center point of the dark half of the year. It is the festival of the Maiden, for from this day to March 21st, it is her season to prepare for growth and renewal. Brighid's snake emerges from the womb of the Earth Mother to test the weather, (the origin of Ground Hog Day), and in many places the first Crocus flowers began to spring forth from the frozen earth.

The Maiden is honored, as the Bride, on this Sabbat. Straw Brideo'gas (corn dollies) are created from oat or wheat straw and placed in baskets with white flower bedding. Young girls then carry the Brideo'gas door to door, and gifts are bestowed upon the image from each household. Afterwards at the traditional feast, the older women make special acorn wands for the dollies to hold, and in the morning the ashes in the hearth are examined to see if the magic wands left marks as a good omen. Brighid's Crosses are fashioned from wheat stalks and exchanged as symbols of protection and prosperity in the coming year. Home hearth fires are put out and re-lit, and a besom is place by the front door to symbolize sweeping out the old and welcoming the new. Candles are lit and placed in each room of the house to honor the re-birth of the Sun.

Another traditional symbol of Imbolc is the plough. In some areas, this is the first day of ploughing in preparation of the first planting of crops. A decorated plough is dragged from door to door, with costumed children following asking for food, drinks, or money. Should they be refused, the household is paid back by having its front garden ploughed up. In other areas, the plough is decorated and then Whiskey, the "water of life" is poured over it. Pieces of cheese and bread are left by the plough and in the newly turned furrows as offerings to the nature spirits. It is considered taboo to cut or pick plants during this time.

Various other names for this Greater Sabbat are Imbolgc Brigantia (Caledonni), Imbolic (Celtic), Disting (Teutonic, Feb 14th), Lupercus (Strega), St. Bridget's Day (Christian), Candlemas, Candlelaria (Mexican), the Snowdrop Festival. The Festival of Lights, or the Feast of the Virgin. All Virgin and Maiden Goddesses are honored at this time.

Deities of Imbolc:
All Virgin/Maiden Goddesses, Brighid, Aradia, Athena, Inanna, Gaia, and Februa, and Gods of Love and Fertility, Aengus Og, Eros, and Februus.

Symbolism of Imbolc:
Purity, Growth and Re-Newal, The Re-Union of the Goddess and the God, Fertility, and dispensing of the old and making way for the new.

Symbols of Imbolc:
Brideo'gas, Besoms, White Flowers, Candle Wheels, Brighid's Crosses, Priapic Wands (acorn-tipped), and Ploughs.

Herbs of Imbolc:
Angelica, Basil, Bay Laurel, Blackberry, Celandine, Coltsfoot, Heather, Iris, Myrrh, Tansy, Violets, and all white or yellow flowers.

Foods of Imbolc:
Pumpkin seeds, Sunflower seeds, Poppyseed Cakes, muffins, scones, and breads, all dairy products, Peppers, Onions, Garlic, Raisins, Spiced Wines and Herbal Teas.

Incense of Imbolc:
Basil, Bay, Wisteria, Cinnamon, Violet, Vanilla, Myrrh.

Colors of Imbolc:
White, Pink, Red, Yellow, lt. Green, Brown.

Stones of Imbolc:
Amethyst, Bloodstone, Garnet, Ruby, Onyx, Turquoise.

Activities of Imbolc:
Candle Lighting, Stone Gatherings, Snow Hiking and Searching for Signs of Spring, Making of Brideo'gas and Bride's Beds, Making Priapic Wands, Decorating Ploughs, Feasting, and Bon Fires maybe lit.

This Is For Everyone I Know! You Know Who You Are!

Depression or is it Mixed Emotions?

Back in December when I didn't have my computer I didn't wanna do anything or go anywhere, I have many friends online that do mean alot to me because I've known them forever or started getting to know them and just never finished (because I don't talk to them anymore or visa versa) or still getting to know them. I have my reasons for giving up a few friends though. Finally when I got my computer back I didn't feel depressed anymore, sad some people think I know. BUT when you try and try to make friends and make some but then you call and no one calls you back, so after awhile you finally give up. So in my case I gave up and went with friends I have online which ya sure most id love to meet one day hang out and just whatever, y'know?

Well now the new year has arrived, things change people change. Life starts going good for a bit but then to find out the other person don't still feel that way it was/is a act it seems it gets to be a slap in the face. You try and try and still try to figure stuff out and try to work on things for the better, but the question is will it happen? Deep down you hope so but at the surface things are uncertain. It kills you to know what the future holds for you and everyone around you. You have your dreams and hopes but where does that leave you?

This is where the depression comes in because you know deep down what you want but you might not have it. You cry and scream on the inside you love someone so much it makes you cry, makes you fall down and not want to get up because it seems like they don't feel the same way back. Everything around you and everyone around you say yeah they are gonna help and support you and be there for you but then you sit back and look and all they are by most are just words... Just like the words " I Love You" Seeming like they have no meaning and your not sure if and when you should say them. It just sucks because you don't know what the future will bring heck you don't even know what tomorrow will bring. Thats where the mixed emotions come in too because you cry then feel happy then just feel crazy the next minute....

Then you think something is wrong with you, then again you just wanna curl up in a corner and forget the world and everyone around you.

Part of you ... all you want is to be happy, you know deep down that is possible some how some way... but where do you start?

Another thing that is now bugging me and making me feel down is this summer I need to renew a few things, thats money. Renewing it? There is a NO answer its something that HAS to be done no matter what! Now we also have to pay back a debt we where told not to worry about, that makes me feel pissed but really sad and depressed at the sametime because the money I could be saving for a trip back home will be no longer, the money i need to renew stuff by the time all that comes around.... money will be so tight I will have to give up my visit back home. Great and while waiting for a renewl I am scared something will happen to my grandparents they are going on 91 and 93 this year just moved into a nursing home. What if something happens and I can't get to them because of the no money factor? I AM FUCKING SCREWED! (pardon my language) But yes I understand we borrowed the money we have to pay it back, BUT we where told not to worry about paying it back then *Slap* you do now! Makes me wanna scream and cry at the sametime! *sigh* Another couple friends of mine that are getting married probably come spring, down in Flordia? Can I attend that? Probably not ....... *slams my head on the desk*

I might as well crawl into a corner and never come out because thats the way I feel right now

Dreams

A Special Someone Said They Had A Dream About Divorce, I Looked In The Dream Dictonary and Found This It's What There Dream Ment.

A dream of a divorce, whether you are in a courtroom or not, is a warning that you must change your ways and learn to compromise rather then demand, or your marriage is in danger of divorce. A single life of frustration is that of a woman who dreams of a divorce because of cheating lovers.

My Rant

Sorry for my previous rant, it's just videos are whats pissing me off, promises shouldn't be broken, in the end it breaks peoples heart, makes them feel less of a person.

Promises

Why Can't Some People Keep Them?
They say one thing but do another . . .
Makes life just suck.

Another Day . . . .

Well Another Day Is Here . . .

Lets see, I woke up at 630am I went to bed at a half decent time think it was about 1am, i really dont remember honestly though.

I was playing City Of Heroes, heh but when are I not! lol, well I was working on my character Cute Canadian she is now level 25! YAY! I will post more about my characters one day ^_^

I also did some cooking and cleaning up last night, this is one good thing about working part time and knowing you can afford it, do whatcha want as long as your housework gets done. So either way it works for me! I enjoy my jobs don't get me wrong but at the sametime I still rather be home full time which I will one day but for now this is awesome too.

I will be in the near future putting up some recipes of mine to get some feed back on, I am working on a cookbook right now, which I am looking into publishing myself because my father in law works at a print shop. Which is totally cool. So be sure to check back!

On the other side of things my cat Scyko is in heat AGAIN! damn it just seems like last week she got done her last phase, but she went into heat one week then Salem then her again and now UGH! Im ready to pull my hair out, I could of got them both fixed once upon a time but thats when Richard and I where having problems and it just never got done, ahh well can't do it now cause of the blood vessles or something the vet said they could bleed to death. I wont take that chance I will just put up with it.

Well I gotta toss what we had for breakfast (the leftovers) in the fridge and well go from there, probably do a few things then go back to bed, Im still tired . . . Until next time have a good one !

New Years Resolutions!

Well the new year has begun, lets see . . .
Where to begin, well lets start with what I want to accomplish this year kinda like resolutions ^_^ Hm....
Well I do want to get started on my cookbook and hopeful get it published and some sold, I already made my one myspace account back into a "me" profile instead of roleplay. I was thinking of putting up some recipes and what not and get some feedback etc...

As for every year I made this promise to myself and I been doing great on it and I am going to continue . . . LOOSING WEIGHT! I've lost 10 inches in my waist since last year and that makes me SO HAPPY! Just a pain cause I need to go shopping every few months for new pants LOL, but hey Im happy so it's cool! I plan to keep going, I never used to be a big girl well not BIG HUGE BIG I don't even look like a size 16 but I do wear a lot of big clothes, but anyways! I used to be a size 6 back in my day then I quit smoking and oops I gained 100lbs but it happens.

Another thing I am promising myself is to be happy remain happy blah blah you get the picture.

Finish remodeling my house is another goal, I have the living room and our bedroom done and the spare room half done, still have the kitchen, bathroom and basement to go as well as putting another coat of stain on the deck in the spring/summer then there is the roof but it will get done soon enough ^_^ I hope by the end of the year myself.

My art work, time to dust off my hands and fingers and start practicing again!

Singing - Yes I do sing most don't hear me but I do and those who have heard me, they became speechless ^_^

City Of Heroes/villains - I been playing this game since beta, but when I left my old bf he deleted the account he says so when I moved to the USA I restarted a new account, I finally got Mistress Noire to level 50 in July of 2005 but I been wanting/needing to get another 50 its just altitus kicks in and well great! I have more toons to play, but Im gonna have to work on another toon most def and get another 50 if not 2 ^_^

Im sure there is more but well this is good for now, ill write more later or something, hehe.

~Noire

HAPPY NEW YEAR! *2007*

Well let's see
I have to say last night was the best new years ever!
I played City Of Heroes most of the night because we had a rocken pvp event going on! It was great!
lasted almost until 430-5am!!
It was wild!

Ill update more soon, i just need to take a nap, i only got a hour sleep after that event last nite and im beat! Ill update more tonight or something I hope to anyways!

Until later . . . .

Noire



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FTW FTW!

GUESS WHO'S BACK!?
Noire Is Back! Ready For Action!



Well I am Finally Back!
I will pay for my own internet and own CoX, No More sharing ^_^ All MINE! lol j/m . . . anyways!
Im back!
Need I say More?
I missed you all alot!!
XD

PS... Rich Don't worry I wouldn't do any crazy changes without my friends, I love you all! ^_^

Life Sucks

No Net
No Pc
Make Noire
crazy....
long story..
At the libary right now
I have to go times almost up...

I Miss all my friends...
and City Of Heroes

. . . . . . . .

Watched my life pass me by -- in the rearview mirror
Pictures frozen in time -- are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day -- stuck in the shadow of my mistakes -- yeah

(Chorus)

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find a place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.

(Verse 2)

I've been dying inside -- little by little
Nowhere to go -- I'm goin outta my mind
An endless circle -- runnin from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

(Chorus)

And I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have -- what's left of me.

(Hook)

Fallin' faster -- barely breathing
Give me somethin to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head

Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

(Chorus)

Cause I want you -- and I feel you -- crawling underneath my skin
Like a hunger, like a burnin -- to find the place I've never been
Now I'm broken, and I'm faded -- I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have, all that's left, (yeah, yeah, yeah) what's left of me

(Outro)

I've been dying inside you see
I'm goin outta my mind (outta my mind)
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
I'm just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left? x3 -- of me
Take what's left of me

This Vid Made Me Cry *sniffle*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3d-erz5Zt5E&eurl=


So Beautiful yet sad, the ups and downs of life and all

*sniffles, goes and grabs a tissue*

Why Do I Feel This Way

Stressed
Mixed Emotions
Feeling Like Crying
Sick To My Stomach

Blah who knows but all over the place . . . heh

New Layout!

Well tomorrow is my birthday!!
So its now feeling like Christmas, so I updated this page with a Christmas feel with colors and music, whatcha think? ^_^

Oh & I Love This Song!
I Have My Reasons, Thank-You ^_~


Avril Lavigne - Keep Holding On


You're not alone
Together we stand
I'll be by your side
You know I'll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There's no place to go
You know I won't give in
No, I won't give in

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

So far away
I wish you were here
Before it's too late
This could all disappear
Before the door's closed
And it comes to an end
With you by my side
I will fight and defend
I'll fight and defend, yeah, yeah

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Hear me when I say
When I say I believe.
Nothing's gonna change
Nothing's gonna change destiny
Whatever's meant to be
Will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da, la da da da
La da da da da da da da da

Keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
Just stay strong
Cause you know I'm here for you
I'm here for you
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through

Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
Ahh, ahh
Keep holding on
There's nothing you can say
Nothing you can do
There's no other way when it comes to the truth
So, keep holding on
Cause you know we'll make it through
We'll make it through
We'll make it through

Birthdays, Christmas, New Years, CoX !!

Well lets see . . . .

Its now December 4th, couple days ago was my mother in laws birthday, my birthday is in a few days, few more friends though out the rest of the month then my father in laws birthday, wow this is one busy month. After all those Christmas comes then new years. Jeebus, on top of all those things I will be painting the living room sometime within today/tonight and probably working on it for the rest of the week. Its a huge job that's for sure along with the rest of the house, but I am keeping busy that's the main thing. ^_^

Oh and then I work a day outta the week 3-4hrs on that day, I've asked for them to give me more hours if possible on the weekends so can start saving some $$$ !! But at this time of the year who knows. *shrugs* Its all good either way I don't mind.

I added more songs to my play list I think I have almost 150 now, I have a various mix of music but I love them all, most of the ones I been listening to as of late are dance tunes they been keeping me on my toes which is totally cool! ^_~

City Of Heroes/villains wise . . . We did another arena event last night, Heri hosted it we had a HUGE turn out! Minus all the disconnects from the servers end it was ALOT of fun, surprised it lasted as long as it did. We have made this a Sunday thing now, I hope it keeps going cause its pretty sweet! So if your a City Of Heroes/villains player and are interested come to Guardian Sunday Nights! 8pm EST! We do glad matches and some FFAs... Oh and As for the big ball of jello Hami himself, we rock his world 4 nights a week

Monday - 9pm EST
Wed - 9pm EST
Thursday - 9pm EST
Saturday - 7pm EST

We have had great raids so far, hami popped on us last Wed because of the release of the new Issue the lag was intense not to mention some that decided to raid in the trenchcoats and wings. But Its all good we got though it, that's the main thing, sure everyone died but its all good ^_^ Our new raid time is 26mins!! I know we will get it lower then that eventually give us time *grins* Other then that things been awesome game wise !!

Not sure what else to post really this is more just a ramble post but well I hope you enjoyed it. XD . . . I'm a dork and a geek I know, but you wouldn't be sitting here reading my blog otherwise, I know you Love Me! j/m . . . . Have a great day!



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Christmas Music!

Yup, you got it right. I been trying to cheer myself up some latley turning 25 in about 5 days trying to get into the holiday spirit of things as much as I can, kinda hard as of late but meh what the frap enjoy the music and I wish everyone a Happy Holiday/Merry Christmas. I hope my new year will be better then the last few months. Im hoping for some major changes for the better and to be happy.


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Dreams

Well another post, this one is probably really weird but I just woke up from a really weird dream of all things. It made me think about it then I tried to go back to sleep but you know what... I Can't! So now I got a huge brainstorm on this, I am not even going to load up my Yahoo Messenger until I get all this written down because I know once I load it up I am going to get IM'd like crazy!

But okay, here I go.

Have you ever have one of those dreams where you are sitting there after you have woken up and scratching your head going .... What the ..... Yup I have those quite often now a days. Thing is when I have mine I start to pick up the bits and peices that may fall in my life at some point in the past or this very day or what seems future holding and promising. Why? You might ask? Well for one dreams I have had in the past and some even now to this day they on and off, They are called Prophetic Dreams. What are those you might ask? Well here I will tell you . . .

Prophetic dreams: also referred to as Pyschic Dreams, they are dreams that seeingly foretell the future. One rational theory to explain this is that our dreaming mind is able to piece together bits of imformation and look at it. Normally we over look or consider it seriously because to us it A) Either don't make sence or B) Are not serious about it. In other words, our unconscious mind knows what is coming before we sit there and consciously put it together with the same information.

Another type of dream I have alot are Recurring Dreams, this word speaks for it self really but I will explain things if need be.

Recurring dreams: Most of these dreams tend to contain messages that will teach us about ourselves or someone that is close to us. At first it wont make sence and we all tend to over look it. So the dream will come back and we will have it again, as our mind saying, " Hey you fool, look listen " Trying to make the message clear as day but your mind and body don't see it that way. Not until about in my case the 4th or 5th dream. Some people notice it right away some people don't notice it all all some will finally notice it years and years later. But recrring dreams are quite common so don't freak out. They might recur daily, once a week, maybe once a month. These dreams sometimes point to a personal weakness, fear or something you can't cope with something that is happening or happend in your life, very rare it will be future set. But look at it this way, repetitive patterns in your dream can reveal some of the most valuable information about YOU so don't turn it away, you might accually learn something.

Now in my case I have a recurring dream that comes to me quite often, this is a dream I had when I was a teenager. Ill share it, I was sitting in my room drawing and it was a bright sunny day, I lived with my aunt and uncle. Just then I heard the doorbell, I didn't think anything of it because for one in highschool I didn't have many friends. But oddly enough my Uncle & Aunt called me saying someone was here to see me. I opened my bedroom door and looked down the stairs and told them to have whom ever it was come up and see me, just then I noticed a "guy" with long black hair. To this day I could NEVER see the face until a few months ago. It was totally weird. I still remember the first day I had this dream I was like "shrug" whatever ... but now I sit here.. and wonder ... because for one this guy what he did in the dream. I will keep that part a secert because well for one it still blows my mind away. But here now I will share some tips in overcoming your recurring dreams.

1) Understand your dream, you must be willing to accept some sort of change or undergo a total transformation weather it be YOU or YOUR LIFE.

2) You must be willing to look inside yourself and confront whatever you can/may find no matter how simple or difficult it could be.

3) Look at the dream from a objective point of view. Try to get passed the emotional and reactive elements of this dream and look at the images, the images that symbolize something weather they be masked by elements or anything that may be disturbing preventing you to look at the dream any deeper then you already have. This could be caused by your defense that your unconscious maybe putting up to say " NO WAIT " Thats where 4 falls into play

4) Be patient. Don't get discouraged if these dreams still recur over and over even after you thought you have come to understand them and know what they are and mean.

5) Learn to accept yourself truly and fully, understand yourself and most of all make sure you are or tend to be happy. Often times once you discover what you recurring dream is trying to tell you these dreams will change all together or maybe.... even disappear for good.

Who knows right? Some people say dreams are dreams. Hmm yeah sure to you but others they are peices of there life or what they want/need in there life, something they want/need to happen or in some cases what will happen. This can also fall into play with Epic Dreams, what is a Epic dream? Well again here I will tell you.

Epic Dreams: Or some call them Great Dreams, are so huge, so compelling and so in detail that you can't ignore them. Details from these dreams remain with you for years, months, days or even weeks as if you dreamt them last night. These kinda dreams possess alot of symbols of your life in some way. When you wake up from such a dream, you feel like you have found something great or amazing about YOU or about the WORLD or SOMEONE. It feels like you have had or want to have a life changing experience.

I accually had a epic dream the other day, before I went to sleep I read my one fortune I got from a fortune cookie a few weeks ago. It says something like, " You will decide to take a trip and travel, you will then come upon a fortune " Now to me, I have thought about taking a few trips here and there because I want to and meet people and have fun. For example: I been invited to Florda next year for a friends wedding that I met though City Of Heroes. Another place I have wanted to visit is back home in Canada to see my grandparents and a couple of my friends, weather I have to go by myself because I want to spend a couple weeks there. Then have my husband come up and get me on a weekend when he is off work. That would be SO AWESOME! Another few places I want to visit are California (have quite a few gaming friends there) Arizona (same as listed before) well anywhere else I want to go basicly have quite a few gaming friends. But on top of my list is my friends wedding, Back home, and Arizona then California.

But anyways!! The dream you probably ask, it was breath taking, Ive had alot of changes good and bad in the last little while in my life and well, to me this dream woke me up, realized what it is and who I want and need in my life. I wont say excatly mind you because hey thats personal, I will tell you this though, how will I accomplish this .... time will tell.

Well that is the end of this post for now, I will sure have more updates so stay tuned!

Phantom Of The Opera . . . .

lyrics - phantom of the opera

lyrics - music of the night

♥ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU♥

Which one is you?
Post your comment with the answer, mine it set as the title
*giggle*


♥ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU♥
if your chrushing on someone
and want them for the holiday

♥JINGLE BELLS ROCK♥
if your single and loving it

♥LET IT SNOW♥
if your just letting things flow for now

♥BABY ITS COLD OUTSIDE♥
if your taken by somone special

♥ILL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS♥
if confused and lost

♥RUN RUDOLF RUN♥
if your wild, flirty, and horny;)

♥ WINTER WONDERLAND♥
if u still love ur x and want them
baq so bad b-cuz with out them
ur lost !!

♥ RUDOLPH THE RED-NOSED REINDEER♥
if you used to like someone but the feelings have faded
and you really dont care about them anymore

Things I Am Thankful For .. ..

Well Thanksgiving has come and gone here in the USA, Alot of people ask what one is thankful for in the past year, here I will list a few things I am thankful for.

♥ Family

- My grandparents who have always been there and still are there for me no matter what happens, My husband & his family as well. I ♥ Love ♥ You Guys!

♥ Friends - Weather they be on or offline

- I wont mention names but they know who they are and why I am so thankful, I ♥ Love ♥ you guys!

♥ My Job

- I started a diffrent job in August, but its been wonderful on the like one day a week I go in ^_^

♥ My Cats

- I know it sounds weird but pets know when your down and when your up when it comes to feelings etc... they are always there for you no matter what. I ♥ Love ♥ My babies.


I know there is more its just my brain went blank... I gotta go clean up my house now.

♥ Noire ♥

Thanks To My Best Friend For Everything, This Song Explains Everything Exactly

lyrics - keep holding on

1st One Sounds Like Me, 2nd Little Quiz... Enjoy

To every girl....if you almost cry while reading this, it includes you....(this is what im talkin bout fellas. If you find a female like this hold on tight !!!)


♥To every girl that is SCARED to put her heart
out there again, because she has been HURT
too many times or so badly.

♥ To every girl that
dresses cute, not skanky.

♥ To every girl who
wants to be called beautiful, not hot.

♥To every girl that will spend her whole day
looking for the perfect present for you.

♥ To every girl that would die
to have a decent boyfriend.

♥ To every girl who would just once like
to be treated like a princess.

♥ To every girl that cries at night
because of another heartbreak.

♥ To every girl that
just wants to hold hands.

♥ To every girl that
kisses him with meaning.

♥ To every girl who
just wishes he cared more.

♥ To every girl who would just once want a guy to give
their jacket up when they are cold.

♥ To every girl who
just wants him to call.

♥ To every girl who lies
awake at night thinking about him.

♥ To every girl that
just wants to cuddle.

♥ To every girl that
just wants to sleep with him without having sex.

♥ To every girl who shows how much
she cares and gets nothing back.

♥ To every girl that thought
maybe this one could be the one'.

♥ To every girl that laughs at stupid stuff
when she actually doesn't think it is funny.

♥To every girl who is just looking for that one
and only and is having a rough time along the way.

♥ To every girl that doesn't want a guy who
just plays with her emotions but actually cares
about how she feels.

♥ To every girl who wants
words backed up with actions.

♥ To every girl that fell for all the lies
only to find themselves alone in the end.

♥ To every girl that gave her heart away
to have it shoved back in her face.

♥ To every girl that has faith that 'tomorrow will be a better day.'
And it will be.


The Quiz


001. What is Your Name? Tina
002. How old are you? I will be 25 next month on the 7th
003. What is the link to your website/blog/or myspace? Look at my links to the side of this page


004. Height: 5'4"
005. Where do you live? Missouri
006. Do you wear a lot of makeup? Nope
007. Piercings? 4

Your Perfect Date:
008. Age: 25 to 38 years old
009. His Body characteristics? Nope
010. Hair color: Dose not matter.
011. Where would you go? Any where as long as we have fun.
012. Is he: outgoing or shy? Both
013. Would you kiss on the first date? Possible
014. What about going farther than a kiss? No
015. Does he wear boxers or breifs? Dont not matter.

Which do you prefer?
016. Pizza or pasta? Pasta
017. Jeans or a dress? Jeans
018. Abercormbie and Fitch or Urban Outfitters? who with the what now?
019. Be Rich or Be Happy? Be happy
020. Shower or a Bath? Both
021. Gym or music? Music
022. Family or friends? Both
023. Kiss or hug? Both
024. Drugs or alcohol or none? None

Have you ever?
025. Failed a class? Yes
026. Ran away from home? Yes.
027. Cursed at your parents? Yes
028. Taken a dare too far? what was the dare? Nope
029. Flashed someone? Nope
030. Made out? Yes
031. Had a sexual experience with the same sex? What was it? Nope

Your Favorite:
032. TV Show: I have quite a few mostly comic cartoons
033. Clothes Store: Dont have one
034. School subject: Music, Art
035. Music Artist: Oy, I have to many
036. Song: again to many, heh
037. Food: Italian, Chinese, Mexican

Other...
038. Body type (slim/medium/athletic/other) Dose not matter
039. bra size? To big
040. Whats on your dresser? Radio and Alarm Clock.
041. Do you have any siblings? How old are they? Yes 3 of then 22, 19, 18
042. What do you wear to bed? T-shirt usually.
043. How old were you when you first had Sex? I was 17
044. Do you beleive in ghosts? Yes
045. Do you have your own pc? Yes I DID have 2 but now i only have 1.

Hopes, Dreams, Wishes, Needs, Wants For 2007 ...

Your probably sitting there wondering, oy vay what is she about to write. To tell the truth I am quite not sure. I been doing some thinking as of late on my dreams, hopes, wishes, needs, and wants... For the new year. There is much but I will only share some.

~ Making friends

Online or Offline? I say Both you can never have enough friends.

~ Meeting my friends

This would be so cool, I've met some great people in City Of Heroes/villains that I talk to all the time, it would mean the world to me to meet them in this new year, same with friends I met though myspace RP It would mean so much to me to meet at least a few of them in the new year, I know of 2 or 3 people id love to meet right now this minute because they mean so much to me!!

~ Wanting some people to be more understanding and supportive

I never ask for much, I just be myself ... Only thing I ask here is for support on my choices rather it be something I want/need or most of all my friends that I choose to talk to or meet.

~ Learning something new everyday

I don't know much no one ever does but to learn something new everyday would be pretty sweet, don't y'know and don't ja think?

~ Trying something new

Which it be a new style of clothes to new food, I don't care I just wanna try something new

~ To have fun

Life is to short, meet new people and have fun!!

~ Travel

I'd love to visit the west coast I have many friends there, I also have many friends over seas as well but Id love the west coast first.... For one IT IS WARM!

~ Why some people have to judge someone before they get to know them?

I hate when people do this, I was brought up to NEVER judge anyone until you get to know them. So please my wish is come on people get to know a person before you judge them.

~ To get my house cleaned up and remodeled some more

I been working on this project for awhile now Id love to finally complete quite a bit before spring, and even have it finished by the end of the year if possible.

~ To be happy

Not saying Im not happy, I mean somethings are making me happy right now but others just concern and make me question things... I am sure you understand

~ To visit family back home

I know there is quite a bit going on back home right now, I just hope all stays well and gets better for everyone

~ To loose more weight

I been battling this forever it seems, When I was in highschool I was really tiny but then I quit smoking and gained some weight not a lot mind you but still, I would so love to loose more


Not sure what else to write at the moment but if more comes up, Ill add it but for now....

One thing though, Id like to thank my dear friend and my many other friends that have been here for me helping me though a lot as of late, you guys have been wonderful and I love you all very much! You know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart!

I Must be off, thanks for taking the time to read and feel free to comment, NOT SPAM COMMENTS EITHER, Thank you and have a nice day.

Sorry, but im tired of spam comments on my blog.

*GLOMP*

Thanks Dani For This Pic, It Had Me Laughing So Frappen Hard!

Cute Joke

I got a little joke from my mother in law, its cute
Thx Mom

Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner.
One is aprostitute.
How can you tell which one is the prostitute?



Hold on...... You're gonna love it...



It's the one with the little sticker that says... I - DA - HO --

*laughs*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBRHetKH4MQ

Remembrance Day/Veterans Day

In Flanders Fields

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.
We are the dead. Short days ago
We lived, saw dawn, felt sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up your quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor Major (later Lieutenant-Colonel) John McCrae of the 1st Field Artillery Brigade wrote this poem on May 3, 1915 after the battle at Ypres. The poem was later published in "Punch", December 8, 1915.

My Sharona !!

Ooh my little pretty one, pretty one.
When you gonna give me some time, Sharona?
Ooh you make my motor run, my motor run.
Gun it comin' off the line Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

Come a little closer huh, ah will ya huh.
Close enough to look in my eyes, Sharona.
Keeping it a mystery gets to me
Running down the length of my thighs, Sharona
Never gonna stop, give it up. Such a dirty mind.
Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

When you gonna give it to me, give it to me.
It is just a matter of time Sharona
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is it just a game in my mind, Sharona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such a dirty mind. Always get it up for the touch
of the younger kind. My my my i yi woo. M M M My Sharona...

You Are My Hero

I am so high. I can hear heaven.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven, no heaven don’t hear me.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me love [would](1) all save us.
But how can that be, look what love gave us.
A world full of killing, n' blood-spilling
that world never came.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away. hi-igh-igh!

Now that the world isn't ending, it's love that I’m sending to you.
It isn’t the love of a hero, and that’s why I fear it won’t do.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

And they're watching us
(Watching Us)
They're watching us
(Watching Us)
as we all fly away.

And they're watching us
(Watching us)
They're watching us
(Watching us)
As we all fly away,
(Yeah)
Yeah.

And they're watching us
(Watching us)
They're watching us
(Watching us)
As we all fly away

(Yeah, yeah. Whoa-oh.)

The Music Of The Night

I have brought you
to the seat of sweet
music's throne . . .
to this kingdom
where all must pay
homage to music . . .
music . . .
You have come here,
for one purpose,
and one alone . . .
Since the moment
I first heard you sing,
I have needed
you with me,
to serve me, to sing,
for my music . . .
my music . . .
(changing mood)
Night-time sharpens,
heightens each sensation . . .
Darkness stirs and
wakes imagination . . .
Silently the senses
abandon their defences . . .
Slowly, gently
night unfurls its splendour . . .
Grasp it, sense it -
tremulous and tender . . .
Turn your face away
from the garish light of day,
turn your thoughts away
from cold, unfeeling light -
and listen to
the music of the night . . .
Close your eyes
and surrender to your
darkest dreams!
Purge your thoughts
of the life
you knew before!
Close your eyes,
let your spirit
start to soar!
And you'll live
as you've never
lived before . . .
Softly, deftly,
music shall surround you . . .
Feel it, hear it,
closing in around you . . .
Open up your mind,
let your fantasies unwind,
in this darkness which
you know you cannot fight -
the darkness of
the music of the night . . .
Let your mind
start a journey through a
strange new world!
Leave all thoughts
of the world
you knew before!
Let your soul
Take you where you
long to be !
Only then
can you belong
to me . . .
Floating, falling,
sweet intoxication!
Touch me, trust me
savour each sensation!
Let the dream begin,
let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write -
the power of the music of the night . . .
(During all this, the PHANTOM has conditioned
CHRISTINE to the coldness of his touch and her fingers
are brave enough to stray to his mask and caress it, with
no hint of removing it. The PHANTOM leads her to a
large mirror from which he removes a dust cover and in
which we see the image of CHRISTINE, a perfect wax-
face impression, wearing a wedding gown. CHRISTINE
moves slowly towards it when suddenly the image thrusts
its hands through the mirror towards her She faints. The
PHANTOM catches her and carries her to the bed, where
he lays her down.)
PHANTOM
You alone can make my song take flight -
help me make the music of the night . .