Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Best Blonde Joke Ever....
A blonde called her old boyfriend and, in a panic, said, "Please come
over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
it out or how to get it started."
Her old boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
Frantically the blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's
a tiger."
Her old boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.
She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned
to her and said,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............",
*
*
*
he sighed,
*
*
*
*
*
*
"Let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."
over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure
it out or how to get it started."
Her old boyfriend asked, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
Frantically the blonde said, "According to the picture on the box, it's
a tiger."
Her old boyfriend decided to go over and help with the puzzle.
She let him in and showed him where she had the puzzle spread all over
the table.
He studied the pieces for a moment, then looked at the box, then turned
to her and said,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger.
He took her hand and said, "Second, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of hot chocolate and then............",
*
*
*
he sighed,
*
*
*
*
*
*
"Let's put all these frosted flakes back in the box."
Saturday, November 05, 2005
What is a Cat?
1. Cats do what they want.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
2. They rarely listen to you.
3. They're totally unpredictable.
4. When you want to play, they want to be alone.
5. When you want to be alone, they want to play.
6. They expect you to cater to their every whim.
7. They're moody.
8. They leave hair everywhere.
CONCLUSION: They're tiny women in little fur coats.
A Cats Diary....
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY-
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse them, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. (Note-to-self: I think I'll try urinating under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?)
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescend about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snatches. The dogs are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They must obviously be half-wits.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time...
Day 185 of my captivity
It is now my 185th day in captivity. My captors have completely eliminated my canned food and replaced it with dry kibble, claiming that it is better for my health. The wet food was the only thing I looked forward too, and now even that has been taken from me. I have discovered, however, that the dry food serves to create sharper points on my teeth, and keeps them stronger. I must force myself to consume it, regardless of the taste.
Each morning, they read pages of what is called a newspaper. I found that it is particularly annoying to my captors if I lie on it while they read. Shredding the newspaper is also a particular peeve of theirs, and I have taken delight in doing this before they awake each morning.
My captors have now obtained a "fish tank" which serves to make up for part of my loss in the food department. While the little creatures are tiny, they are quite tasty. They have yet to replace the two small fish that I have consumed. I must think of a way to make them notice the loss.
The bird continues to mock me. Its little metal room has proven stronger than originally anticipated
Day 201 of my captivity
Im unsure of my ability to survive as a captive and have made several attempts to break out. At first, it was simple enough to circle my captors feet, in a surreptitious manner, as they opened the front door. I would then bolt from them through the door to freedom. But, to no avail they caught me in a manner of minutes my legs are not as fast as they used to be and I grow weak with continued imprisonment. What is worse is that since the first attempt, I have now found myself separated from the living room. My captors are much more intelligent than originally anticipated
For entertainment, I have taken to terrorizing the dogs by sitting on the kitchen table and swiping at them with my long nails. The dogs are obvious half-wits. They know very little about my skills as a hunter, and are forbidden by my captors to attack me. The dogs grow more irritated each day.
I have found my captors are easy to manipulate in many ways, but outdoor access remains elusive. I have not lost hope, however, and have every intention of escaping this horrid place one-day soon
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another house plant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs next time. In an attempt to disgust and repulse them, I again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. (Note-to-self: I think I'll try urinating under their bed, too. Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?)
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescend about what a good little cat I was. Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food.
More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and may be snatches. The dogs are routinely released and seem more than happy to return. They must obviously be half-wits.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved. But I can wait; it's only a matter of time...
Day 185 of my captivity
It is now my 185th day in captivity. My captors have completely eliminated my canned food and replaced it with dry kibble, claiming that it is better for my health. The wet food was the only thing I looked forward too, and now even that has been taken from me. I have discovered, however, that the dry food serves to create sharper points on my teeth, and keeps them stronger. I must force myself to consume it, regardless of the taste.
Each morning, they read pages of what is called a newspaper. I found that it is particularly annoying to my captors if I lie on it while they read. Shredding the newspaper is also a particular peeve of theirs, and I have taken delight in doing this before they awake each morning.
My captors have now obtained a "fish tank" which serves to make up for part of my loss in the food department. While the little creatures are tiny, they are quite tasty. They have yet to replace the two small fish that I have consumed. I must think of a way to make them notice the loss.
The bird continues to mock me. Its little metal room has proven stronger than originally anticipated
Day 201 of my captivity
Im unsure of my ability to survive as a captive and have made several attempts to break out. At first, it was simple enough to circle my captors feet, in a surreptitious manner, as they opened the front door. I would then bolt from them through the door to freedom. But, to no avail they caught me in a manner of minutes my legs are not as fast as they used to be and I grow weak with continued imprisonment. What is worse is that since the first attempt, I have now found myself separated from the living room. My captors are much more intelligent than originally anticipated
For entertainment, I have taken to terrorizing the dogs by sitting on the kitchen table and swiping at them with my long nails. The dogs are obvious half-wits. They know very little about my skills as a hunter, and are forbidden by my captors to attack me. The dogs grow more irritated each day.
I have found my captors are easy to manipulate in many ways, but outdoor access remains elusive. I have not lost hope, however, and have every intention of escaping this horrid place one-day soon
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Final Respec: Mistress Noire...
This is how I finally respec'd Noire after copying her to test 3-4 times I think I finally got it, so i then put it on live.. well she can solo now thats a plus.. but her heals... JUST SUCK!
THANKS ALOT STATESMAN !!!!
Exported from version v1.5B of CoH Planner
http://joechott.com/coh
Archetype: Defender
Primary Powers - Ranged : Empathy
Secondary Powers - Support : Radiation Blast
Level 01 : Neutrino Bolt
Accuracy ( 01 )
Damage ( 9 )
Level 01 : Healing Aura
Healing ( 01 )
Healing ( 3 )
Healing ( 5 )
Endurance Reduction ( 11 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 02 : Heal Other
Healing ( 02 )
Healing ( 3 )
Healing ( 5 )
Endurance Reduction ( 11 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 04 : Absorb Pain
Healing ( 04 )
Level 06 : Air Superiority
Accuracy ( 06 )
Damage ( 7 )
Damage ( 7 )
Damage ( 9 )
Endurance Reduction ( 17 )
Level 08 : Resurrect
Recharge Reduction ( 08 )
Recharge Reduction ( 50 )
Level 10 : Recall Friend
Interrupt Time ( 10 )
Level 12 : Fortitude
Defense Buff ( 12 )
To Hit Buff ( 13 )
Recharge Reduction ( 13 )
Defense Buff ( 45 )
To Hit Buff ( 45 )
Level 14 : Fly
Endurance Reduction ( 14 )
Flight Speed ( 15 )
Flight Speed ( 15 )
Flight Speed ( 17 )
Level 16 : Clear Mind
Recharge Reduction ( 16 )
Level 18 : Recovery Aura
Recharge Reduction ( 18 )
Recharge Reduction ( 19 )
Recharge Reduction ( 19 )
Endurance Recovery ( 43 )
Endurance Recovery ( 43 )
Level 20 : X-Ray Beam
Accuracy ( 20 )
Damage ( 21 )
Damage ( 21 )
Damage ( 33 )
Level 22 : Irradiate
Accuracy ( 22 )
Damage ( 23 )
Damage ( 23 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 24 : Proton Volley
Accuracy ( 24 )
Damage ( 25 )
Damage ( 25 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 26 : Regeneration Aura
Recharge Reduction ( 26 )
Recharge Reduction ( 27 )
Recharge Reduction ( 27 )
Healing ( 43 )
Healing ( 45 )
Level 28 : Cosmic Burst
Accuracy ( 28 )
Damage ( 29 )
Damage ( 29 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 30 : Swift
Run Speed ( 30 )
Level 32 : Adrenalin Boost
Recharge Reduction ( 32 )
Recharge Reduction ( 33 )
Recharge Reduction ( 33 )
Healing ( 37 )
Endurance Recovery ( 37 )
Level 35 : Neutron Bomb
Accuracy ( 35 )
Damage ( 36 )
Damage ( 36 )
Damage ( 36 )
Endurance Reduction ( 37 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Level 38 : Atomic Blast
Accuracy ( 38 )
Damage ( 39 )
Damage ( 39 )
Damage ( 39 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Level 41 : Conserve Power
Recharge Reduction ( 41 )
Level 44 : Power Buildup
Recharge Reduction ( 44 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 47 : Total Focus
Accuracy ( 47 )
Damage ( 48 )
Damage ( 48 )
Damage ( 48 )
Endurance Reduction ( 50 )
Recharge Reduction ( 50 )
Level 49 : Hurdle
Jump ( 49 )
-------------------------------------------
Level 01 : Brawl
Empty ( 01 )
Level 01 : Sprint
Run Speed ( 01 )
Level 02 : Rest
Recharge Reduction ( 02 )
THANKS ALOT STATESMAN !!!!
Exported from version v1.5B of CoH Planner
http://joechott.com/coh
Archetype: Defender
Primary Powers - Ranged : Empathy
Secondary Powers - Support : Radiation Blast
Level 01 : Neutrino Bolt
Accuracy ( 01 )
Damage ( 9 )
Level 01 : Healing Aura
Healing ( 01 )
Healing ( 3 )
Healing ( 5 )
Endurance Reduction ( 11 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 02 : Heal Other
Healing ( 02 )
Healing ( 3 )
Healing ( 5 )
Endurance Reduction ( 11 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 04 : Absorb Pain
Healing ( 04 )
Level 06 : Air Superiority
Accuracy ( 06 )
Damage ( 7 )
Damage ( 7 )
Damage ( 9 )
Endurance Reduction ( 17 )
Level 08 : Resurrect
Recharge Reduction ( 08 )
Recharge Reduction ( 50 )
Level 10 : Recall Friend
Interrupt Time ( 10 )
Level 12 : Fortitude
Defense Buff ( 12 )
To Hit Buff ( 13 )
Recharge Reduction ( 13 )
Defense Buff ( 45 )
To Hit Buff ( 45 )
Level 14 : Fly
Endurance Reduction ( 14 )
Flight Speed ( 15 )
Flight Speed ( 15 )
Flight Speed ( 17 )
Level 16 : Clear Mind
Recharge Reduction ( 16 )
Level 18 : Recovery Aura
Recharge Reduction ( 18 )
Recharge Reduction ( 19 )
Recharge Reduction ( 19 )
Endurance Recovery ( 43 )
Endurance Recovery ( 43 )
Level 20 : X-Ray Beam
Accuracy ( 20 )
Damage ( 21 )
Damage ( 21 )
Damage ( 33 )
Level 22 : Irradiate
Accuracy ( 22 )
Damage ( 23 )
Damage ( 23 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 24 : Proton Volley
Accuracy ( 24 )
Damage ( 25 )
Damage ( 25 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 26 : Regeneration Aura
Recharge Reduction ( 26 )
Recharge Reduction ( 27 )
Recharge Reduction ( 27 )
Healing ( 43 )
Healing ( 45 )
Level 28 : Cosmic Burst
Accuracy ( 28 )
Damage ( 29 )
Damage ( 29 )
Damage ( 31 )
Endurance Reduction ( 34 )
Recharge Reduction ( 40 )
Level 30 : Swift
Run Speed ( 30 )
Level 32 : Adrenalin Boost
Recharge Reduction ( 32 )
Recharge Reduction ( 33 )
Recharge Reduction ( 33 )
Healing ( 37 )
Endurance Recovery ( 37 )
Level 35 : Neutron Bomb
Accuracy ( 35 )
Damage ( 36 )
Damage ( 36 )
Damage ( 36 )
Endurance Reduction ( 37 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Level 38 : Atomic Blast
Accuracy ( 38 )
Damage ( 39 )
Damage ( 39 )
Damage ( 39 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Recharge Reduction ( 42 )
Level 41 : Conserve Power
Recharge Reduction ( 41 )
Level 44 : Power Buildup
Recharge Reduction ( 44 )
Recharge Reduction ( 46 )
Level 47 : Total Focus
Accuracy ( 47 )
Damage ( 48 )
Damage ( 48 )
Damage ( 48 )
Endurance Reduction ( 50 )
Recharge Reduction ( 50 )
Level 49 : Hurdle
Jump ( 49 )
-------------------------------------------
Level 01 : Brawl
Empty ( 01 )
Level 01 : Sprint
Run Speed ( 01 )
Level 02 : Rest
Recharge Reduction ( 02 )
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