Hearing their stories inspired me to write mine.
Here is a bit of my story of what I been though.
I started out in high school being fit and in shape doing spots, track and weight lifting, girls made fun of me for it saying i looked like a boy. I hid myself for years under track suits even in 100+ degree summers, they used to tell me no guy would wanna date me cause i was to in shape. I was a bit smaller then Dana Brooke from WWE.
After high school i quit smoking and turned to food, gained 200lbs in 2 years and guys flocked. Thought i was doing something right.
After high school I was in a serious relationship for 5 years. I put up with a lot during that time. Mental and Physical abuse. I really didn't have anywhere to go since I was pretty much abandoned from my family. Cause when I was 11 I went though abuse at home & when i confronted my step mother about some of that abuse she sent me to live with my real mothers brother and his family.
I was there for 3 years then started living with friends and moving around. One of my friends parents sent me off to live with a friend of theirs. Turns out these girls were young, in their 20s already had kids but no father around for these kids. I ended up babysitting a lot when they went out bar hopping. They would bring men home and have sex with them on the couch next to me while i was trying to sleep. When i went to enroll into school, they dropped me off for the day and i called my step mother, took a chance to tell her what I was going though. Her brother came and picked me up and took me back to the city where they were at.
Few months another moving back home I moved into a girls home cause things weren't working out the way we all hoped, being away for 6+ years from my family there were a lot of problems that came though trying to get along with my step sister, half sister and half brother. Even the girls there some of them made fun of me, exp when we went to get makeovers and they didn't even rekon me with makeup and stuff on, one girl busted out with, "Omg Tina looks like a girl" Super hurtful. :(
But back to my serious relationship, beginning was good. But when I moved in with my ex boyfriend and his parents we were trying to get a place of our own after my ex got a job. Which he finally did and we moved.
We ate out a lot, we would spend $100's on food at the store, quick meals etc. But then we would still manage to eat out. Even though we were in so much debt. I thought a few times about getting back on track with my weight but he would always think it was me cheating on him or i was going to leave him. At that present time I wasn't planning on it. But as years past I grew out of love with him but i just stayed cause I couldn't afford to go on my own and I just put up with a lot. Cause I was scared.
Exp after he showed up at my work like a crazy person and said he forgot his key. So I gave him mine and that's when he laughed like a mad man and said i was a liar and a cheat and left. We weren't even together at this point, turned out he was going though my emails and chat logs and saw me talking to some of my friends from over seas about wanting to go about my chef dream and travel.... yeah I'm cheating alright ;) lol
I had to leave work that day and rush home so i could get into the apartment, which i couldn't so i went to a local library and emailed him cause i knew he would be on the computer. He told me to get home now before he went to bed or don't bother at all coming back.
We became roommates after that for awhile for almost a year. First 8 months of that though i had to quit my job after 4 years, out of being embarrassed cause of what happened. He never gave me my key back and i couldn't leave the apartment or id be screwed. I tried calling my dad/step mom and they told me i couldn't come back home, my friends all moved etc and didn't have extra spots, i lost other friends while dating this guy... It was a crazy nightmare. So I sat and chatted on my computer all day with friends and slept on the couch when he was asleep and be awake when he was at work.
Back to my story, adventure, whichever you wanna call it...
Summer of 2004 I met my hubby thought a mutual friend, we all online gamed together. She lived in MI, hubby lived in MO and i lived in Canada. We talked online/phone for 6 months then he drove 14hrs where I was and popped the question. We ran off and got married 2 days later.
I tried to get on track when we first got married but the stress of moving to the US wasn't helping. So i got set in my ways. 2009 I seen a doctor who sent me down the wrong path, she had me on unlimited meat, eggs, cheese and 20 carbs a day ONLY from veggies. Everything else was cut out.
3 months passed my numbers on my heath cart were though the roof. But the doctor insisted i continue. Another 3 months went by I was in tears, sure i lost 60lbs but i was feeling like crap. My hubby started a new job and i went and got a 2nd opinion once the health coverage kicked in, turns out due to the diet etc the doc had me on, i was 3 months shy of having a heart attack and dying at 26 years old. Doctors told me to go get whole grain pasta and eat! I cried and ate the whole box that night. That crazy doc even had me on diabetic meds even though i wasn't diabetic ! 4 times the amount a normal diabetic would take, scary stuff!
I eventually in 19 months lost 156lbs, but I got scared thinking back to high school and fell backwards in my ways.
Finally may 2015 I started getting back on track again. I was tired all the time. So I sat and wrote myself this list.... (at the time i had kids stuff on this list too til i found out i couldn't have kids)
- Living a long time to spend with my hubby/family/friends
- Being able to do things (run/walk/lift etc) and not be outta breath
- Enjoy more of what life has to offer
to name a few things, the cons always out weigh'd the bad
- Dying early
- Leaving my family/hubby/friends behind
- Being so overweight when i do pass on they casket will cost more being more heavy then my poor family having to carry my body being so heavy someone may hurt themselves
- Having my hubby wait on me hand and foot cause id be so overweight i can't do things for myself (bathe, cook, clean etc)
- Health insurance costing more
- Not getting a lot with life insurance
to name a few other things, it keeps me motivated to get my ass in check even more!
I had to give myself tough love.
So it gave me motivation. Realizing that the haters are over 1000 miles away in another country. I gave myself a goal of cosplaying She-Hulk at comicon next year in 2018.
My husband and I now workout together, we both knew we let ourselves go to long. We been married 12.5 years now. He used to be into bodybuilding back in the army but seeing me in my ways I am sure it made him fall in bad ways too. Not to mention my cooking and my Canadian portion sizes as he teased me. Cause I always did huge portions.
I also had a bad habit of when i went shopping for food, id buy junk food and hide it. Candy, chips, soda, etc. It was bad, to this day I finally admitted to hubby that I used to do these things, he about fell over. Cause he never knew til now. I don't have that habit now thankfully I broke it!
We both wanna live a long time together its important to us. We can't have kids, we tried to adopt but no luck there either. So we want to make the best of life. Make our next life the one we are able to have a lot of kids in
Im not going back this time, only forward :)
In 28 months im down 125lbs and 58 inches in my waist, it was hard getting back on track after the first gain loss gain. I dont' wanna do that again cause next time it will be even harder.
I would of been down more but a year ago after working out at home for just over a year and losing 115lbs. I joined a gym. But the trainer I had at my last gym was telling me to eat more, training 5 days a week 2-3hrs a day.... I didn't weigh myself for quite a few months but i felt like I was bloated all the time and I didn't feel any different. I jumped on the scale, i ended up gaining 50lbs back in 6 months!~ :(
January this year I started doing my own thing again. Lost 10lbs and 5 inches in that month doing my husbands old workout routine from when he was in the army.
April this year i joined a new gym, new trainer, new food coach even, 6 weeks and down 15lbs and 6 more inches! Even more since then!
But anyway, that's that :)
I made this long enough for now, stay tuned for more updates!