Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Updates & Stuff

Well another day
I started getting more hours at work
I need to get Salem fixed, flea meds, Hair dye and other needs ... I need, you get the idea.
Nothing new really same shit another day just working more hours, getting more and more tired. I do really miss being at home.
But I have my reasons.
I just hope I can last.
Last time I was working so much I got really depressed to the point of crying everyday because I was so tired and didn't wanna go to work.
After so long I get like that, don't know why probably because it's something I don't want to do, I want to be at home taking care of the house and the people I love and care about.
I don't mind working part time though.
I gotta do this, I just need/want some help encouragement maybe I dunno.
Okay so this blog sucks
anyways, city of heroes/villains time

Friday, April 20, 2007

What Kinda Post Is This??

Who knows, honestly.
I have been feeling like crap all freaken week
I guess I am wanting to vent or something
Sunday started out a good day, I didn't have to work which was great!
I sat back and relaxed with some City Of Heroes/Villians, worked on my bottoms up super group with a bunch of friends.
Monday rolled around D&D day with hubby and friends, I went to bed pretty earily Sunday night but I still couldn't get up in time for D&D.
I woke up when everyone was leaving, at this point to me it was like meh whatever. I just didn't care at this point I was still tired. I slept for over 10 hrs and I was STILL tired.
After my husband left to drop off his co-wroker I sat here for a bit then jumped into City Of Heroes again. Yeah so freaken what I play to much, bite me!
It's one of the few things thats making me happy right now, I have people that make me happy right now too, so thats a good thing too but hey it's life.
Anyways, I started and got a good team going then hubby comes home and says hes gonna go watch some tv and go to bed. That's fine he was up for almost 24 hrs he needs his rest, Ill continue playing City Of Heroes.
Just then after he goes I get a Intant Message from my cuz, my aunt passed away...
I didn't even know she was sick!
For the past 5 years none the less and no one told me!?
I find out a day before the furneral!
That is going to do me so much freaken good now!
If I didn't owe money on taxes I so would of went back home!
Samething happend when my aunt Joyce died, I found out a couple days before the furneral from my ex-boyfriends mom who happen to be reading the paper and called to see if I knew a Joyce. My family didn't tell me yet again! >_<
So anyways my cuz says, my parents are going to tell Grandma & Grandpa right now, they don't know yet... I ask so nice PLEASE! KEEP ME INFORMED ON HOW THEY TAKE IT!
Its been 4 days now, have I heard anything ...... NO OF COURSE NOT!
Yeah yeah your probably thinking... call... yeah OK sure its that freaking easy!
Not when I don't have a phone card and can't get out to get one just yet.
Not until I go to work tomorrow!
But anyways again...
Hubby asked me what was wrong, I replied with nothing..
I was sitting here looking at my aunt's obituary, he comes over and sees it and says I'm sorry honey and hugs me. Yeah OK thanks but I just wanna be alone.
Like I have been.
Been doing my own thing as I have been doing.
Well Tuesday rolls around same shit another day, wake up, play city of heroes until I go to bed. Well in between house work but for the past few days i haven't' done much because I been feeling so depressed with my aunts passing and not being able to be there, Sue me for not going and doing housework!
I actually did 2 loads of laundry yesterday and the dishes that's all I felt like doing.
I don't even feel like doing anything tonight
I logged outta game and took a shower, I still feel shitty
Then to top it off that shooting this week, WTF is wrong with people!
Anyways, I'm going to talk to some friends, then go to bed.
I have to work tomorrow
As much as I don't want to because I am not in the mood to deal with people, I have to cause I know if I don't I'll get complained at or something with the words....

You only work 1-2 days a week and you can't even do that!?

Yeah okay, tell that to someone that just had a family member that died and isn't able to be there. I am trying to cope with it but it's so hard right now.

I need another cry moment, thanks for reading my rant post.

<3 Name That Tune ^_^

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of........Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

RIP Aunt Shirley :(

I just got news yesterday from my cuz that my Aunt Shirley passed away.
Again I didn't know she was sick, the same thing happened when my Aunt Joyce passed away, I didn't even know she was sick.
With Aunt Joyce I found out from my ex boyfriends mom, at least family told me this time yes but it would of been nice to know my Aunt Shirley was sick for the past 5 years. I could of least went to visit her or something.
What sucks even more is I would LOVE to go back home for a visit right now, my cuz told me about Grandma being sick a couple months ago with Leukemia. Thing is with her age (91) they wont treat her or tell her about it. Which I can kinda understand. The doc's also believe that she will pass of old age before it takes full effect over her body.
Yesterday I was sitting here crying, wondering if my life could get any worse. Lately between everything it just gets more and more... just makes me wanna scream you know?
Well as I been told by many life will be looking up soon and I have my hopes and dreams that they will, I also have my beliefs they will. I been just so tired and not happy lately. Only thing that makes me happy at this point is playing City Of Heroes/Villains and talking with friends and doing my own thing. Work has been fun lately but meh its work.
Anyways I just had to vent a bit get things out, I know there is more but I'll leave that tucked away, I hope everyone is having a great day!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Ding! Athena Storm Hits 50!

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

Well On Friday The 13th Athena Storm Hit 50!
Special Thanks to All my friends that made this possible!


This will be my second 50!
I Hope to have more soon, and maybe a second account!
We will see!

Thursday, April 05, 2007


Well it's Thursday night, just sitting here chatting with my best friend and trying to keep warm. Right now just feeling so emotional. I am so tired of the way my life is right now, don't get me wrong I love being at home alot and taking care of the house it's just the feelings to the people that are around me are not there. I just want to be left alone. I mean feelings are there to some but to others it feels just "meh" to me.

I want to go somewhere warm, I want to visit friends and family. Heck I dunno part of me wants a family but this isn't the time for that. I just want someone to hold me and tell me I'll be fine, that things are gonna be alright. I get those words from my friends daily over the computer and it's wonderful but... I just want someone to say it to me face to face and do that. Maybe I am to old fashioned I don't know.

I have so many things going though my mind right now, 95% of them I cant' blog because it wouldn't be fair right now to some.

... since my emotions are everywhere so is this blog >_<


Emotion holds me captive
and it keeps me from the truth
No I don't know how I got here
but I know I'm missing you

And I know the day is coming
when I'll be back inside your arms
but as much as I believe it
that day seems so far

so I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I kiss the sky

Everytime the wind blows
I hear it call your name
and even in the darkness
I can see your face.
Every second brings my freedom
much closer into view.
So the ocean will not hold me and I'll be one with you.

(and when) (so) I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved

I kiss the sky