But this morning as I held him during his final moments I started to pray and ask God to please not now, I don't want to lose him that I wasn't ready..... I then looked at Slayer and said, "It's okay baby mommy is here, I love you with all my heart" I saw that same twinkle in his eye as I always do when he would look at me. He understood my words, he did put up a little fight though not wanting to go but I kept telling him it was okay as much as it broke my heart. He then snuggled closer to me it was like he was hugging me. We drove to the vets as quick as we could but as we where heading there things got quiet.
I do know this, Slayer did live a pretty amazing spoiled life. He loved us as much as we loved him if not more. He moved here with me from Canada, sat in the center console on the ride down, he was always by my side during the darkest of times and even the best of times. He was a VERY smart cat and understood everything id say to him. Even when id say something really off the wall he would give me that look of, "Da fuq mom, really?"
All our babies hold special places in my heart, Slayer took things a paw further to make things extra special. Don't get me wrong all our babies are special but words can't describe on how much more special Slayer was and made things.
BUT After almost 12hrs of laying around, sleeping on and off and crying. Food all day = handful of crackers. Im finally getting up and moving around, still feel really numb, I know as time goes on so will the pain but it wont hurt AS much. But for now it hurts. Trying to eat some real food....... also need to clean up and do laundry since Joel's mom will be here in 30 something hours to stay a few days with us. I haven't done any cleaning or anything and everything's a disaster, as much as I dont' wanna do anything, I could see Slayer if he was here sitting in his chair giving me that, okay mom get off your ass and do something look. lol.
I believe when its our time too all our fur babies and human loved ones will be waiting for us to come join the big party in heaven ♥
Bottom pic here was from about a month ago he wanted to snuggle and get my attention, and he was really cute in doing so :D