Tuesday, November 11, 2008

8 Couple Arguments Not Worth Having

When in a relationship, there can be many things to gripe about. Some fights may be deemed legitimate, while others may not require the waste of breath. Here are eight common subjects that could lead to harsh arguments that best not be bothered with.

1. The Ex-factor. You may feel that you’re living in the shadow of your guy’s ex-girlfriend but, unless he’s constantly talking about her, you shouldn’t mention her name, lest it cause a huge argument. Everyone has a past, but just focus on the present: he’s with you now, so that should be comfort enough.

2. Daily chores. Does your guy have a habit of not picking up his socks or letting his dirty dishes sit in the sink for days? We’ll admit, it can annoy the heck out of any woman, but it’s not worth starting a fight over. You can either take two seconds and toss those socks in the hamper, or just nicely (i.e. not yell) inform him to do so; he may change his habits and start picking up some of the slack.

3. Money issues. Money can be a sore spot for many couples, whether there is not enough of it or you can’t decide on who pays the next time you go out. When you and your guy hit the movies and he wants to pay, you may protest once (you are a self-sufficient woman, after all!) but leave it at that. There’s no reason to stay angry and fight over the cost of a movie ticket; you can just pay next time.

4. Not enough sex. You’ve hit a dry spell lately? Before you start thinking that something has gone horribly wrong in your relationship and demand he tell you why he’s no longer interested in you, look into whether he’s sick or tired or stressed at work. There are many variables as to why he won’t give it up, and him not being attracted to you anymore may not be one of them.

5. That certain friend or family member. His nosy and always-present mother may be a source of contention between you and your guy, but you most certainly can’t tell him to stop seeing her! Avoiding a huge dispute on the subject may be best, and here are a few tips on dealing with the situation.

6. He doesn’t have time for you. We all want to see as much of our guy as possible, but sometimes he needs a break and just wants to spend some time with his friends, or even alone. We all have the right to some alone time, so don’t ream on him for spending some nights at his place and a weekend with the guys; time away from you will do you both good, and make you extra happy when you do see each other again.

7. Changing him. You may wish your guy would cut his hair or start dressing fancier. You chose him and love him for being the way he is, so don’t start picking a fight to get him to change his ways and his overall look. You wouldn’t want him to make the same arguments towards you, would you?

8. Those little annoyances. Does your guy chew his food too loudly or have a habit of biting his nails? These tiny things may not usually bother you, but can manifest themselves after, say, living with him for awhile and when you’re particularly cross with your guy. You may end up hurting his feelings, so why not just let the subject drop and exit the room until you’ve calmed down a bit?

Note: There are varying degrees of these common arguments. If you feel as if some situations (from the not picking up after himself to the less and less time he spends with you) may imply some deeper problem within your relationship, then they may warrant a serious conversation.

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