Life

First off I wanna thank my ex for writing a blog about this cause it got me thinking... Well the new year has begun as you all know, lets see . . .

Where to begin, well lets start with what I want/wanted to accomplish this year kinda like resolutions ^_^ Hm....

Well I do want to get started on my cookbook and hopeful get it published and some sold, I already made my one myspace account back into a "me" profile instead of roleplay. As most of you can see. I was thinking of putting up some recipes and what not and get some feedback etc... which I have done a couple already and got some great feedback, Ill have more soon!

As for every year I made this promise to myself and I been doing great on it and I am going to continue . . . LOOSING WEIGHT! I've lost 10 inches in my waist since last year and that makes me SO HAPPY! Just a pain cause I need to go shopping every few months for new pants LOL, but hey Im happy so it's cool! I plan to keep going, I never used to be a big girl well not BIG HUGE BIG I don't even look like a size 16 but I do wear a lot of big clothes, but anyways! I used to be a size 6 back in my day then I quit smoking and oops I gained 100lbs but it happens. Better then killing myself with smoking and frap right?

Another thing I am promising myself is to be happy remain happy blah blah you get the picture. I mean don't get me wrong I do love certian things in my life and others its like blah whatever. But the day will come where I know Ill be more happy, I just wish I knew when and stuff. But thats up to me and all. I know that and I believe we are in charge of making ourselves happy y'know?

My art work, time to dust off my hands and fingers and start practicing again!

Singing - Yes I do sing most don't hear me but I do and those who have heard me, they became speechless ^_^

City Of Heroes/villains - I been playing this game since beta, but my old bf he deleted the account he says so when I moved to the USA I restarted a new account, I finally got Mistress Noire to level 50 in July of 2005 but I been wanting/needing to get another 50 its just altitus kicks in and well great! I have more toons to play, but Im gonna have to work on another toon most def and get another 50 if not 2 ^_^ .... As most know thats happening I got my controller half way to lvl 42 as of today!

Speaking of City Of Heroes/Villians... I would love to meet some of my friends I have known for awhile, who have become great friends who I care about very much and visa versa. I don't have many friends in life but the ones I do have or have had that I can't talk to anymore that I wish i could... I don't wanna lose friends y'know. Friends are what keeps most people. At least I know it does me. Heh, I just hope that made sence. (Please note im writing this b4 work, still half asleep)

Now my ex wrote in his blog about having a second chance at life, I wish that sometimes myself. There is so much I wish i could change... such as.... When I was 18 being asked to take on apprenticeship as a chef. I turned it down cause i wanted to work for awhile.. make some money then go. Well in that time I did that.. I also met my ex, moved around a bit then we moved in together and spent 5 years together... after I went back and asked about the course they told me it was a one time offer that they didn't tell me before *sigh* Frap happens its life! I then wanted to go to school but he told me that i "Had" to work full time too. Which sucked cause I knew I couldn't do it. So at that point I gave up on my dream in life and went with the flow until we split. I wish I could of changed that about being a chef NOT his and I's relationship!

Now I have that dream of being a stay at home mom one day and be happy yadda yadda, which I know will happen one day just working for it is what I need to do In more ways then one Time tells all. As for not having a direction in life, I know that feeling about parents just saying oh get a job, you will be fine. In some cases for some yeah, but this is one reason why if you can afford it for one parent to be home DO IT! Because kids need that love and support anymore and guidence in life. Heck I still need it sometimes!

Im sure there is more I can think of... but unfort I need to get my shoes and stuff on and head to work, selling beauty supplies FTW! hahaa JK!

But part of me is scared and part of me is anxious to see what my future will bring y'know?