”THROUGH A RAPIST’S EYES” (PLS TAKE TIME TO READ THIS. it may save a life.) Reblog this!
It seems that alot of attackers use some tactic to get away with violence. Not many people know how to take care of themselves when faced with such a
situation. Everyone should read this especially each n every girl in this world. THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD INFO TO PASS ALONG…
FYI - Through a rapist’s eyes! A group of rapists and date rapists in prison were interviewed on what they look for in a potential victim and here are some interesting facts:
1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle.
They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid, or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women who’s clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don’t have to worry about getting caught.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn’t worth it because it will be time-consuming.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas,or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you’re not worth it.
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POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk:
can’t believe it is so cold out here, we’re in for a bad winter. Now that you’ve seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they’d leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would
not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
4] If someone grabs you, you can’t beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy’s parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you’ll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our
instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of trouble. Start causing trouble, and he’s out of there.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using
much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked audibly.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don’t dismiss it, go with your instincts. You may feel
little silly at the time, but you’d feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
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FINALLY, PLEASE REMEMBER THESE AS WELL ….
I know you are smart enough to know these pointers but there will be some, where you will go “hmm I must remember that” After reading forward it to someone you care about, never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1. Tip from Tae Kwon Do: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do it.
2. Learned this from a tourist guide to New Orleans : if a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you…. chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or
purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won’t see you but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping,eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON’T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side,put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU CLOSE the DOORS , LEAVE.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage:
a. Be aware: look around your car as someone may be
hiding at the passenger side , peek into your car, inside the passenger side floor, and in the back seat. ( DO THIS TOO BEFORE RIDING A TAXI CAB) .
b. If you! u are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door. Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars.
c. Look at the car parked on the driver’s side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot).
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN!
8. As women, we are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP IT! It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked “for help” into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
Send this to any woman you know that may need to be reminded that the world we live in has a lot of crazies in it and it’s better safe than sorry.
If u have a heart or compassion reblog this post.
‘Helping hands are better than Praying Lips’ – give us your helping hand.
REBLOG THIS AND LET EVERY GIRL KNOW
ATLEAST PEOPLES WILL KNOW WATS GOIN IN THIS WORLD.
So please reblog this….Your one reblog can Help to spread this information.
I hope you all will Reblog. Lets See how many of you really care for this.
DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT NOT REBLOGGING THIS! IT COULD ACTUALLY SAVE A LIFE.
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Saturday, July 21, 2012
Online Gaming & Movies Today!
Okay I need to make a post here about online gaming and movies, I am SICK & TIRED of seeing posts go around blaming our online games and our movies to shootings and other problems in the world today, Im not trying to start fights or arguments but everyone is allowed there opinion here, so let me say this!
I have been playing online games since I was 18 (I am now 30), I wasn't allowed to play very many games growing up 1hr a night after homework was done because school always came first, and maybe its cause online games didn't get popular til after I graduated I was raised pretty sheltered from the outside world maybe it was also cause I had parents that where pretty abusive and locked me in a room 99% of my childhood because they thought thats how they should raise kids, only amazing part of my childhood was when I lived with my grandparents & my foster family, sometimes I wish that part of my life lasted longer, but you know what everything happens for a reason and it made the strong person I am today!
But from personal experiences knowing the people I know now a days that are my age, 5-8yrs younger and even those ppl I know that are 5-20 years older then me that play online games have pretty great heads on there shoulders, I mean I met my hubby on a online game though a friend who I met on a online game 8yrs ago him and I met we lived in 2 diff places on this planet, here we are 8yrs later and been married 7.5yrs and Ive met more amazing people both on and offline, its just the way life is now, you will always have a great ppl you meet or the ones that don't need help, I know many people online too I see that I don't talk to that are 20 or younger that its there life its all they do because they need that guidance, I believe parents should structure them and give them that guidance.
Ever since everyone wanted this and that in life 2 people need to be working because everyone wants the best of everything reason taxes and all this other crap in life has gone up in prices to the point MOST families have to have 2 people working, which I think if we went back to the way it was ages ago when one parent was home while the other works there would be a lot of guidance and structure for our children today. I also find there isn't enough good teachers in this world that actually care about kids its all about bumping them along anymore, we need more good people in this world that will teach our children right from wrong and we need the parents to do the same.
This is one reason after everything I been though when I have kids they are going to know the right and wrong and good and bad and real from fake, I just can't understand why everyone blames games and movies for all our problems they do have ratings on them for a reason! If you allow your child to play and watch these things thats YOU but be sure you EXPLAIN to them this is fake this is real. If you want to keep your kids from it til there old enough to understand EVEN BETTER! ~ So think before you start pointing fingers and turn it and point to YOURSELF, when your kids are old enough to do things on there own your voice becomes a opinion not you do this my way, cause you had that chance to raise them right when they where young, now that they are adults think about the things you SHOULD have done!
I have been playing online games since I was 18 (I am now 30), I wasn't allowed to play very many games growing up 1hr a night after homework was done because school always came first, and maybe its cause online games didn't get popular til after I graduated I was raised pretty sheltered from the outside world maybe it was also cause I had parents that where pretty abusive and locked me in a room 99% of my childhood because they thought thats how they should raise kids, only amazing part of my childhood was when I lived with my grandparents & my foster family, sometimes I wish that part of my life lasted longer, but you know what everything happens for a reason and it made the strong person I am today!
But from personal experiences knowing the people I know now a days that are my age, 5-8yrs younger and even those ppl I know that are 5-20 years older then me that play online games have pretty great heads on there shoulders, I mean I met my hubby on a online game though a friend who I met on a online game 8yrs ago him and I met we lived in 2 diff places on this planet, here we are 8yrs later and been married 7.5yrs and Ive met more amazing people both on and offline, its just the way life is now, you will always have a great ppl you meet or the ones that don't need help, I know many people online too I see that I don't talk to that are 20 or younger that its there life its all they do because they need that guidance, I believe parents should structure them and give them that guidance.
Ever since everyone wanted this and that in life 2 people need to be working because everyone wants the best of everything reason taxes and all this other crap in life has gone up in prices to the point MOST families have to have 2 people working, which I think if we went back to the way it was ages ago when one parent was home while the other works there would be a lot of guidance and structure for our children today. I also find there isn't enough good teachers in this world that actually care about kids its all about bumping them along anymore, we need more good people in this world that will teach our children right from wrong and we need the parents to do the same.
This is one reason after everything I been though when I have kids they are going to know the right and wrong and good and bad and real from fake, I just can't understand why everyone blames games and movies for all our problems they do have ratings on them for a reason! If you allow your child to play and watch these things thats YOU but be sure you EXPLAIN to them this is fake this is real. If you want to keep your kids from it til there old enough to understand EVEN BETTER! ~ So think before you start pointing fingers and turn it and point to YOURSELF, when your kids are old enough to do things on there own your voice becomes a opinion not you do this my way, cause you had that chance to raise them right when they where young, now that they are adults think about the things you SHOULD have done!
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Monday, July 09, 2012
Faith, Hope, Dreams & More!
I don't understand why some think I am getting my hopes up with the baby thing, its called have faith, hope for the best, dream big.
Just the way I was raised =)
My grandparents taught me a lot growing up even when I didn't listen some things set back in my mind really deep, I help friends with their kids when they ask I just don't go do it, tons of friends have been keeping hubby & I in our thoughts & prayers hoping and having faith we will become parents cause we deserve to be, we are wonderful with kids we are told & have it in us to be parents !
I don't need to say sorry that the small things in life make me happy, being able to stay home and take care of the house, do my paintings, garden work, spend time with family & friends, online game, read comics, keeps me busy while hubby is at work, when hes home we do other stuff, I mean I am very thankful & blessed that I am able to do this & I thank god everyday & for the job he has provided hubby to make it happen if it wasn't for that I wouldn't of got on track with my losing weight and so much more, we are very thankful, Also I am not getting my hopes to high my mind is made if things don't happen there is a reason behind it. But til that happens we will try everything possible medical or not to make things happen =)
Til the day otherwise when doctors say, "We have done all we can"
Then we know & there is other options out there like adoption, sure its expensive but is it for us, time will tell!
Til then I am going to continue to enjoy life, keep my faith, hope for the best and keep dreaming big, dreams can come true if you let them no matter what others say, what my grandparents (aka mom & dad) shown me growing up just by how they lived =)
No matter what others think, believe think what you want, I really don't care, god has a plan and we are in it every single one of us !
Just the way I was raised =)
My grandparents taught me a lot growing up even when I didn't listen some things set back in my mind really deep, I help friends with their kids when they ask I just don't go do it, tons of friends have been keeping hubby & I in our thoughts & prayers hoping and having faith we will become parents cause we deserve to be, we are wonderful with kids we are told & have it in us to be parents !
I don't need to say sorry that the small things in life make me happy, being able to stay home and take care of the house, do my paintings, garden work, spend time with family & friends, online game, read comics, keeps me busy while hubby is at work, when hes home we do other stuff, I mean I am very thankful & blessed that I am able to do this & I thank god everyday & for the job he has provided hubby to make it happen if it wasn't for that I wouldn't of got on track with my losing weight and so much more, we are very thankful, Also I am not getting my hopes to high my mind is made if things don't happen there is a reason behind it. But til that happens we will try everything possible medical or not to make things happen =)
Til the day otherwise when doctors say, "We have done all we can"
Then we know & there is other options out there like adoption, sure its expensive but is it for us, time will tell!
Til then I am going to continue to enjoy life, keep my faith, hope for the best and keep dreaming big, dreams can come true if you let them no matter what others say, what my grandparents (aka mom & dad) shown me growing up just by how they lived =)
No matter what others think, believe think what you want, I really don't care, god has a plan and we are in it every single one of us !
Sunday, July 08, 2012
Saturday, July 07, 2012
Friday, July 06, 2012
Sunday, July 01, 2012
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Awake & Alive
Thank the Lord everyday for letting Hubby & I wake up & enjoy another day of life with the best family & friends ever!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Sunday, June 03, 2012
Little Updates On Life
Okay as of today I am NOT taking my metformin anymore and last week was
the last of my blood pressure meds, after talking with my best friend /
sister who has worked under docs before, the metformin could be the
source of my UTI coming back (Did a at home UTI test last night, no
symptoms but would explain why 54 days have gone by yet again and I am
not pregnant) sooo while we where reading on a MD
site it said if your not taking metformin for weight loss help or you
don't have PCOS or your not diabetic it can cause harm to kidney
function and liver too, so thus I am calling my docs tomorrow, even tho I
did the at home UTI test and it came back positive Im going to get my
blood work & what not done this week so I can get to the bottom of
this, I am really worried exp since we are trying to get pregnant, Ive
been praying its something that can be fixed easily and possibly
naturally ! Maybe it would also explain the weight GAIN not LOSS? I
don't know but I just pray we can figure it out! ~
Anyhoo......
Hubby & I been doing well getting the house cleaned up & got my veggie/fruit garden started again for this year, I am already picking beans off to be eaten, YUM!
Our friends Kevin & Crissy got married last weekend, that was exciting & fun, we also been doing bbq's and roasting hot dogs and making smores with friends its been pretty fun so far =)
Also our neighbors & friends next door just had baby #2 almost a week ago now which is very exciting also, need to hand me off some of that baby water ;)
Other then that things been pretty much same same, besides the fact hubbys HD died :(
Hubby & I also been spending a lot of time watching movies and catching up on reading with comics and what not
Other then that things are pretty well =)
I can't believe we been together almost 8yrs its getting pretty close to be that time, and we will be married 7.5yrs, so yeah those who say lost cause not going to work, we been though more then you can think, all I know is I have my best friend and best hubby ever =)
I love you Joel =D
We are truly blessed, thank god for all hes given and done can't wait for more years to come =)
Anyhoo......
Hubby & I been doing well getting the house cleaned up & got my veggie/fruit garden started again for this year, I am already picking beans off to be eaten, YUM!
Our friends Kevin & Crissy got married last weekend, that was exciting & fun, we also been doing bbq's and roasting hot dogs and making smores with friends its been pretty fun so far =)
Also our neighbors & friends next door just had baby #2 almost a week ago now which is very exciting also, need to hand me off some of that baby water ;)
Other then that things been pretty much same same, besides the fact hubbys HD died :(
Hubby & I also been spending a lot of time watching movies and catching up on reading with comics and what not
Other then that things are pretty well =)
I can't believe we been together almost 8yrs its getting pretty close to be that time, and we will be married 7.5yrs, so yeah those who say lost cause not going to work, we been though more then you can think, all I know is I have my best friend and best hubby ever =)
I love you Joel =D
We are truly blessed, thank god for all hes given and done can't wait for more years to come =)
Friday, May 18, 2012
^_^
 | |||
Friends think I do - Online game
mom thinks I do - hang out with family & friends
boss thinks I do - cook
society thinks I do - panels & popularity
what I think I do - Have fun cosplay etc (Riversong from doctor who)
What I really do - housewife, cook clean etc etc Truth of the matter, I do all of the above =) |
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
Sunday, May 06, 2012
3hrs Sleep... really?
Okay so running on 3hrs sleep..... yep and I'm still AWAKE! If anyone says why didn't you forget this do that I am going to snap! ~ My sis
Maaleka just left, its now midnight, we been working hard on bouquets for our friends
wedding, shopping for stuff, working on stuff, had the bridal shower
going on today, free comic book day stuff had to get up & go get
hubby the ones he wanted as well as the ones I wanted since he has to
work & was sleeping during the time the store first opened, got my
brothers to also come with, I have to say I am VERY VERY Tired, but now I
need to do the dishes & clean my kitchen & straighten up a few
more things before I hit the bed, I hear it calling me but I have to get
this stuff done, either way I had a ton of fun today :) ♥ and... hoping
this made sense since my brain is pretty much half asleep right now lol
~
Also just realized I didn't get any gardening done today, crap gotta do it all tomorrow
AND get things going for the baby shower this coming Saturday
ACK!
♥ *THUD* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Also just realized I didn't get any gardening done today, crap gotta do it all tomorrow
AND get things going for the baby shower this coming Saturday
ACK!
♥ *THUD* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Monday, April 30, 2012
The Dark Knight Rises
Hope they send hubby & I some more free screening passes soon for movies, exp for this one!
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Thursday, April 26, 2012
*NOM*
So I just tried Trader Joe's seaweed snacks for the first time today I have to say I loved them! Here I thought I wouldn't cause first thing i think of would be them tasting like fish/ocean etc ~ They taste like pumpkin seeds to me, I really like them, I think I wanna buy a bunch now and there low cal & low sodium =D
whole package is only about 100 cals and for 99 cents each, they are on my want list =D
(THANKS ABBY!) ♥
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
8 Sexy Ways to Burn Calories
Kissing: 68 calories per hour
Remember how, when you were first dating, you’d start locking lips and 30 minutes later you’d come up for air? See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of Red Hot Touch. Try her technique for turning kissing into an honest-to-goodness workout session: “Kiss in unusual positions,” she recommends. “Have the guy on his back and do ‘plank pose’ or a push-up on top of him, coming down to kiss him and then pushing back up. Push-ups burn 171 calories in 30 minutes.”
Undressing: 8+ calories total
You probably don’t put much thought into undressing when you’re getting intimate with your husband, but an Italian researcher looked into the matter and found that the mere act of taking one’s clothes off burns about 8 to 10 calories. Even more fascinating, the researcher reportedly found that a man attempting to remove a bra with his mouth burns as many as 80 calories. While that may not be applicable to you, here’s what is: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great a workout going.” Or undress to tease him, adds Gilda Carle, PhD, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. “Find your favorite silk scarf, and do a seductive dance with it,” she says.
Massaging: 80+ calories per hour
Who doesn’t like a good rubdown from their partner? But if you’re the giver, you get an additional benefit other than making your guy happy: burned calories. As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles. I also recommend getting a massage table—it's better on your body, and standing to give a massage burns more calories.”
Having Sex: 144+ calories per half-hour
You knew sex was a workout, but who knew that a half-hour romp in the hay with your guy could burn off the chocolate you nibbled on after dinner? The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. You can also add a little moaning and sighing, says Kinzbach, which can help you burn an extra 18 to 30 calories. And try a position change for a better workout. “If you are on top, try moving your hips like a belly dancer; this feels great and will give you a workout,” she adds. “Also try a position where you squat on top of him and then bounce up and down. This is a great workout for your thighs and butt, and it can burn up to 207 calories in 30 minutes.” Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.
Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour
Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine. But if you want to take your calorie-burning to the next level, Kinzbach recommends this calorie-blasting technique: push-ups (yes, in the act!). “Also you can do a little yoga, suggests Kinzbach. “Try plank position into downward facing dog, and back into plank where you can lower down and do some oral stimulation.” Tack on 71 extra calories blasted when you do push-ups, and 35 additional calories by mixing in some yoga.
Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour
Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.” Rocking your body against his and varying the pressure and frequency can help, too, she adds.
Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour
A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a New York–based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Slow dancing is fine, but you have to rev things up—and add in a few surprises—to get a real workout. “Add kissing, nibbling the neck and touch,” suggests Kinzbach. And increase the pace, too!
Making Out: 238 calories per half-hour
A sizzling clothes-on make-out session with the man you love may be the most intense caloric blaster yet. Why? Anticipation, says Dr. Carle, can get your heart rate going. “It gives way to heavy breathing, which gives way to a great calorie burn,” she explains. But you can still maximize the workout by making it hotter and sweatier! “The hotter the room—think Bikram (a.k.a. “hot”) yoga—and the sweatier the make-out session, the more calories you burn,” adds Kinzbach. Also, try rolling around on the bed or changing your scenery. “Make it playful and erotic and you have a great combination for a pleasurable workout.”
Read more: How Many Calories Does Sex Burn - Calories Burned During Sex - Woman's Day
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/8-sexy-ways-to-burn-calories-110923?link=emb&dom=yah_health&src=syn&con=slide&mag=wdy
Remember how, when you were first dating, you’d start locking lips and 30 minutes later you’d come up for air? See if you can get into that groove again, say experts. Not only is smooching a great way to show affection and improve your bond as a couple, it can also help you burn fat. “If the kissing is vigorous and involves some petting, it could be even closer to 90 calories burned in an hour,” says Jaiya Kinzbach, a Los Angeles–based sexologist and the author of Red Hot Touch. Try her technique for turning kissing into an honest-to-goodness workout session: “Kiss in unusual positions,” she recommends. “Have the guy on his back and do ‘plank pose’ or a push-up on top of him, coming down to kiss him and then pushing back up. Push-ups burn 171 calories in 30 minutes.”
Undressing: 8+ calories total
You probably don’t put much thought into undressing when you’re getting intimate with your husband, but an Italian researcher looked into the matter and found that the mere act of taking one’s clothes off burns about 8 to 10 calories. Even more fascinating, the researcher reportedly found that a man attempting to remove a bra with his mouth burns as many as 80 calories. While that may not be applicable to you, here’s what is: By upping the energy you put into undressing, you can burn some extra calories. Don’t just strip down in seconds, says Kinzbach; instead, “draw it out and make it part of your foreplay, while getting a great a workout going.” Or undress to tease him, adds Gilda Carle, PhD, a psychotherapist and relationship expert. “Find your favorite silk scarf, and do a seductive dance with it,” she says.
Massaging: 80+ calories per hour
Who doesn’t like a good rubdown from their partner? But if you’re the giver, you get an additional benefit other than making your guy happy: burned calories. As it turns out, giving a good massage can get your heart rate up and kick your body into calorie-burning mode. But the way to ramp things up even more isn’t to speed things up. Instead, consider going slower, recommends Kinzbach. “This may seem counterintuitive to burning calories,” she says, “but going slower and deeper is not only more sensual, it works different muscles. I also recommend getting a massage table—it's better on your body, and standing to give a massage burns more calories.”
Having Sex: 144+ calories per half-hour
You knew sex was a workout, but who knew that a half-hour romp in the hay with your guy could burn off the chocolate you nibbled on after dinner? The key for high-calorie-burning sex is making it hot and making it last, say experts. You can also add a little moaning and sighing, says Kinzbach, which can help you burn an extra 18 to 30 calories. And try a position change for a better workout. “If you are on top, try moving your hips like a belly dancer; this feels great and will give you a workout,” she adds. “Also try a position where you squat on top of him and then bounce up and down. This is a great workout for your thighs and butt, and it can burn up to 207 calories in 30 minutes.” Perhaps the best way to maximize calorie-burning during sex is to make sure you orgasm. Experts estimate that women who orgasm during sex burn more calories during lovemaking than those who don’t.
Giving Oral Sex: 100 calories per half-hour
Here’s a stat you don’t hear every day: Being on the giving end of oral sex may be just as effective as a quick stint on the elliptical machine. But if you want to take your calorie-burning to the next level, Kinzbach recommends this calorie-blasting technique: push-ups (yes, in the act!). “Also you can do a little yoga, suggests Kinzbach. “Try plank position into downward facing dog, and back into plank where you can lower down and do some oral stimulation.” Tack on 71 extra calories blasted when you do push-ups, and 35 additional calories by mixing in some yoga.
Using Your Hands: 100 calories per hour
Of course, the old-fashioned hand job is a calorie burner, but you can zap an additional 50 calories per half-hour by taking things up a notch. “Get lots of stuff going at once,” suggests Kinzbach. “Try really slow sensual strokes, and position yourself so that you can use your body as well.” Rocking your body against his and varying the pressure and frequency can help, too, she adds.
Romantic Dancing: 103 calories per half-hour
A little dirty dancing—even with your clothes on—can be a workout for you and your husband. Couples who take dance lessons (and practice in the privacy of their homes) can attest to this. Bonus: “It has been shown in scientific studies that right after an aerobic exercise, women become aroused and lubricated more easily,” says Barbara Bartlik, MD, a New York–based psychiatrist and sex therapist. Slow dancing is fine, but you have to rev things up—and add in a few surprises—to get a real workout. “Add kissing, nibbling the neck and touch,” suggests Kinzbach. And increase the pace, too!
Making Out: 238 calories per half-hour
A sizzling clothes-on make-out session with the man you love may be the most intense caloric blaster yet. Why? Anticipation, says Dr. Carle, can get your heart rate going. “It gives way to heavy breathing, which gives way to a great calorie burn,” she explains. But you can still maximize the workout by making it hotter and sweatier! “The hotter the room—think Bikram (a.k.a. “hot”) yoga—and the sweatier the make-out session, the more calories you burn,” adds Kinzbach. Also, try rolling around on the bed or changing your scenery. “Make it playful and erotic and you have a great combination for a pleasurable workout.”
Read more: How Many Calories Does Sex Burn - Calories Burned During Sex - Woman's Day
http://www.womansday.com/sex-relationships/sex-tips/8-sexy-ways-to-burn-calories-110923?link=emb&dom=yah_health&src=syn&con=slide&mag=wdy
Monday, April 23, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
*HAPPY!*
I Knew the day my grandparents said, " We aren't going anywhere til your happy" I knew those words rang true the days they passed away. They where the parents I always dreamed of & thankful they where there for me while they where able to be & teach me everything I know today! :)
I want to say I am also thankful & blessed to have the most awesome foster parents & in laws & family in my life many awesome friends, ever since I moved here after meeting the most wonderful man in the world who loves me for ME my life changed for the better much better then it was! :) ~
I have met more awesome friends & my family grew & family that have been & always will be there for me not letting anything stand in my way, I haven't seen that kind of love & dedication since my grandparents & foster parents, even to this day I will admit I get tear on holidays hearing and seeing the love and laughter fill the room, I haven't seen that since I was a child growing up with my grandparents & since I lived with my foster parents, it shows me that there is true love by family & friends its just rare to be found, one day soon I hope we have kids to pass this love, respect, understanding and more to show them :) <3 ~
More things that have happened since I moved here that had never happened in Canada, movie screenings, comic book conventions, being in a group that is going to be involved in the future with comicons, helping a friend with his movie business, things I would of never thought of, seen or dreamed of being in Canada, the last 7.5 years have been amazing & I so can't wait for many more years! I am just super excited :)
Thanks to my hubby, family, friends and god for making what my life has been so far and of course myself AND i can't wait for many many more years =) THANKS!
I want to say I am also thankful & blessed to have the most awesome foster parents & in laws & family in my life many awesome friends, ever since I moved here after meeting the most wonderful man in the world who loves me for ME my life changed for the better much better then it was! :) ~
I have met more awesome friends & my family grew & family that have been & always will be there for me not letting anything stand in my way, I haven't seen that kind of love & dedication since my grandparents & foster parents, even to this day I will admit I get tear on holidays hearing and seeing the love and laughter fill the room, I haven't seen that since I was a child growing up with my grandparents & since I lived with my foster parents, it shows me that there is true love by family & friends its just rare to be found, one day soon I hope we have kids to pass this love, respect, understanding and more to show them :) <3 ~
More things that have happened since I moved here that had never happened in Canada, movie screenings, comic book conventions, being in a group that is going to be involved in the future with comicons, helping a friend with his movie business, things I would of never thought of, seen or dreamed of being in Canada, the last 7.5 years have been amazing & I so can't wait for many more years! I am just super excited :)
Thanks to my hubby, family, friends and god for making what my life has been so far and of course myself AND i can't wait for many many more years =) THANKS!
LOCKOUT
A former government agent wrongly accused of a crime gets a shot at freedom -- if he can engineer a high-risk mission to outer space in order to rescue the president's daughter from a prison where the inmates are in control.Hubby & I got invited to the screening last night & I have to say.... this movie was totally awesome! The description doesn't do it justice !
No need for spoilers on this one it's a MUST SEE!
"Snow" - Witty and snarky comments and statements all though the movie makes it LOL funny
The action was awesome and the effects where just as
It comes out in theaters to the public friday, go see it =)
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Monday, April 09, 2012
Sunday, April 08, 2012
TO MY WONDERFUL HUBBY.....
Today is a totally awesome guys birthday hes everything to me, I wanna say.......... HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL!
To bad you have to work this weekend but we will celebrate this week on your 4 days off in a row one night with our friends playing games with some homemade pizza, another night going to see a movie premiere (LOCKOUT) that doesn't hit theaters til Friday & more movies & R&R! I LOVE YOU! <3 :)
To The Rest Of You....... HAPPY EASTER!
To bad you have to work this weekend but we will celebrate this week on your 4 days off in a row one night with our friends playing games with some homemade pizza, another night going to see a movie premiere (LOCKOUT) that doesn't hit theaters til Friday & more movies & R&R! I LOVE YOU! <3 :)
To The Rest Of You....... HAPPY EASTER!
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Thursday, April 05, 2012
Wednesday, April 04, 2012
Sunday, April 01, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
Planet Comicon 2012
Here is some photo's from the convention
Saturday Hubby & I went as a mad scientist couple
Sunday Hubby went as himself & I went as Riversong (from Doctor Who)
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Thursday, March 08, 2012
Thursday, March 01, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Cheers!
As most of you know hubby & I just celebrated our 7yr wedding anniversary on Feb 14th 2012, Cheers honey, here is to many many more.
Another post below =)
We had a awesome day! Thanks to all who wished us a Happy Anniversary!
This photo is us at Halloween 2011 at a party we had at our house for our friends & family was a lot of fun!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
♥ HAPPY 7YRS TO MY WONDERFUL HUBBY! ♥
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
7yrs ago hubby & I got married ~ We been though SO MUCH in the last 7yrs & I couldn't be much happier, and I am glad your just as happy, your the best & so wonderful and the best at everything you do & thank you for everything you do ♥ Here is to many many more years I love you! =)
For all of those people that thought we where/are/still think we are a lost cause
Keep dreaming and get a life, go hide behind your "curtain"
xo
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Weight Loss !
I never used to be FAT, i graduated at 135lbs at 18, I was pretty active just had a bad habit of smoking
When I graduated I dropped smoking for eating fast food/junk food in its place
I never seen myself getting bigger cause everyone around me was always bigger
Years went by
got married
moved to Kansas City from Canada in 2005
life went on, never paid much attention
In March 2009 hubby & I where talking about fixing up the rest of the house get rdy to sell was our last main goal before starting for a family, we just celebrated our 4yr anniversary
I went to my doctor to get some blood work done, they told me i was in no shape to have kids, I needed to lose weight
I was 330lbs.........
Now that I quit working to become a housewife fulltime I had no excuse to get on track so off I went
19 months I lost 156lbs, I was down to 176lbs in fall of 2010
Docs said my numbers where great, to keep at it =)
Then came the buy/sell of houses, I stopped tracking cause everytime i wanted to get a workout in the phone would ring saying people where coming by to see the house and it was hard to cook anything cause if someone was to come by and id cook something some reason they thought the people who where looking at the house might get upset with the smell of what i was cooking, all these excuses so fast food and quick meals came into play, I had no motivation to do anything else
I gained about 40lbs back, last year was a slow year to get myself motivated and back on track tho I started when I joined MFP in the fall =)
I have 56lbs left, this year is MY year to get it done, even if I get preggers plan is to keep moving
My doctors gave us the green light my vitamin and other levels look great i been told, so lets keep it moving =)
Now next Tuesday (feb 14th) is my 7yr anniversary & many more to come, time to get this 30 year old girlie in shape, yes me !! I can do this! Im a housewife still, I have no excuses ! =)
When I graduated I dropped smoking for eating fast food/junk food in its place
I never seen myself getting bigger cause everyone around me was always bigger
Years went by
got married
moved to Kansas City from Canada in 2005
life went on, never paid much attention
In March 2009 hubby & I where talking about fixing up the rest of the house get rdy to sell was our last main goal before starting for a family, we just celebrated our 4yr anniversary
I went to my doctor to get some blood work done, they told me i was in no shape to have kids, I needed to lose weight
I was 330lbs.........
Now that I quit working to become a housewife fulltime I had no excuse to get on track so off I went
19 months I lost 156lbs, I was down to 176lbs in fall of 2010
Docs said my numbers where great, to keep at it =)
Then came the buy/sell of houses, I stopped tracking cause everytime i wanted to get a workout in the phone would ring saying people where coming by to see the house and it was hard to cook anything cause if someone was to come by and id cook something some reason they thought the people who where looking at the house might get upset with the smell of what i was cooking, all these excuses so fast food and quick meals came into play, I had no motivation to do anything else
I gained about 40lbs back, last year was a slow year to get myself motivated and back on track tho I started when I joined MFP in the fall =)
I have 56lbs left, this year is MY year to get it done, even if I get preggers plan is to keep moving
My doctors gave us the green light my vitamin and other levels look great i been told, so lets keep it moving =)
Now next Tuesday (feb 14th) is my 7yr anniversary & many more to come, time to get this 30 year old girlie in shape, yes me !! I can do this! Im a housewife still, I have no excuses ! =)
Wednesday, February 08, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Artz
Painting I did just last week/this week, I put 2010 on it, its actually 2012 that I did the painting but I did it for our new friends/neighbors next door for there little girl and soon to be baby #2's room they are wanting it to be a surprise of what there having so here is to them =)
How Much Is A Homemaker Worth?
Wow, I am worth a lot =)
The life of a homemaker is one that includes an endless amount of demands and to-dos. Depending on the size of the home and family, the position of homemaker can go well beyond the usual nine to five. We examined some of the tasks that a homemaker might do to find out how much his or her services would net as individual professional careers. We only take into consideration tasks which have monetary values and use the lowest value for each calculation.
Private Chef
Meal preparation is one of the major tasks of most homemakers. From breakfast to dinner, there is plenty of meal planning and cooking to be done. The American Personal Chef Association reports that its personal chefs make $200 to $500 a day. Grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive to the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home. Grocery delivery services charge a delivery fee of $5 to $10.
Total cost for services: $1,005 per five day work week x 52 weeks = $52,260 per year.
House Cleaner
A clean and tidy home is the foundation of an efficient household. Typical cleaning duties include vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, scrubbing sinks as well as loading the dishwasher and making beds. Professional maids or house cleaning service providers will charge by the hour, number of rooms or square footage of the home. For example, bi-weekly cleaning of a 900-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with five rooms, costs $59-$124 . A 1,300 square-foot, single-story home with seven rooms runs $79-$150 . A 2,200 two-story, three-bedroom home with nine rooms averages $104-$180 . Additional tasks such as oven or refrigerator cleaning and dusting mini blinds can run an extra $20-$25.
Total cost for services: $118 per week X 52 Weeks = $6,136 per year.
Child Care
Homemakers provide full-time, live-in child care. This type of service from a professional provider would usually come with a host of perks including health insurance, paid vacation and sick days, federal holidays off, dental and vision coverage, and bonuses. The International Nanny Association's 2011 survey found that nannies make $600 to $950 per week in gross wages, on average.
Total cost for services: $600 a week plus perks/benefits x 52 Weeks = $31,200 per year.
Driver
A private car service might seem like a high-end luxury to most, but the beneficiaries of a homemaker get this service on a daily basis. Companies like Red Cap, which provides personal drivers that use the client's own car as the means of transportation, offer a glimpse into the cost of this homemaker task. An elite membership which includes 365 days of unlimited, round-trip service is $1,000 a year plus 33 cents - $2.03 per minute.
Total cost for services: $1,000 per year + [(estimated miles driven 8000 miles / 50 MPH) x 60 min/hr x $0.33 per minute] = $4,168 total per year.
Laundry Service
Clean clothes come at a cost when you have to pay for the service that most homemakers do for free. Professional laundry services charge by the pound. For instance, Susie's Suds Home Laundry Service, Inc. in Texas charges 90 cents to $1.00 a pound to wash, dry, fold, hang and steam your clothes. Items that take longer to dry such as comforters, blankets, rugs and winter clothes are assessed at a price of $12-$15 each.
Total cost for services: $0.90 per pound x 4 pounds of clothes per day x 5 days per weeks x 52 weeks = $936 total per year.
Lawn Maintenance
Basic maintenance of the exterior property is a less common, but possible duty of a homemaker. This could include things such as mowing, debris removal, edging and trimming the lawn. These services cost about $30 a week on average.
Total cost for services: $30 per week x 52 weeks = $1,560 total per year.
The Bottom Line
Total for a year of all services is: $52,260 + $6,137 + $31,200 + $4,168 + $936 + $1,560 = $96,261 per year.
The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted by his or her family members. However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers in general contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks, and no amount of money can fill those needs.
The life of a homemaker is one that includes an endless amount of demands and to-dos. Depending on the size of the home and family, the position of homemaker can go well beyond the usual nine to five. We examined some of the tasks that a homemaker might do to find out how much his or her services would net as individual professional careers. We only take into consideration tasks which have monetary values and use the lowest value for each calculation.
Private Chef
Meal preparation is one of the major tasks of most homemakers. From breakfast to dinner, there is plenty of meal planning and cooking to be done. The American Personal Chef Association reports that its personal chefs make $200 to $500 a day. Grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive to the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home. Grocery delivery services charge a delivery fee of $5 to $10.
Total cost for services: $1,005 per five day work week x 52 weeks = $52,260 per year.
House Cleaner
A clean and tidy home is the foundation of an efficient household. Typical cleaning duties include vacuuming, dusting, sweeping, scrubbing sinks as well as loading the dishwasher and making beds. Professional maids or house cleaning service providers will charge by the hour, number of rooms or square footage of the home. For example, bi-weekly cleaning of a 900-square-foot, two-bedroom apartment with five rooms, costs $59-$124 . A 1,300 square-foot, single-story home with seven rooms runs $79-$150 . A 2,200 two-story, three-bedroom home with nine rooms averages $104-$180 . Additional tasks such as oven or refrigerator cleaning and dusting mini blinds can run an extra $20-$25.
Total cost for services: $118 per week X 52 Weeks = $6,136 per year.
Child Care
Homemakers provide full-time, live-in child care. This type of service from a professional provider would usually come with a host of perks including health insurance, paid vacation and sick days, federal holidays off, dental and vision coverage, and bonuses. The International Nanny Association's 2011 survey found that nannies make $600 to $950 per week in gross wages, on average.
Total cost for services: $600 a week plus perks/benefits x 52 Weeks = $31,200 per year.
Driver
A private car service might seem like a high-end luxury to most, but the beneficiaries of a homemaker get this service on a daily basis. Companies like Red Cap, which provides personal drivers that use the client's own car as the means of transportation, offer a glimpse into the cost of this homemaker task. An elite membership which includes 365 days of unlimited, round-trip service is $1,000 a year plus 33 cents - $2.03 per minute.
Total cost for services: $1,000 per year + [(estimated miles driven 8000 miles / 50 MPH) x 60 min/hr x $0.33 per minute] = $4,168 total per year.
Laundry Service
Clean clothes come at a cost when you have to pay for the service that most homemakers do for free. Professional laundry services charge by the pound. For instance, Susie's Suds Home Laundry Service, Inc. in Texas charges 90 cents to $1.00 a pound to wash, dry, fold, hang and steam your clothes. Items that take longer to dry such as comforters, blankets, rugs and winter clothes are assessed at a price of $12-$15 each.
Total cost for services: $0.90 per pound x 4 pounds of clothes per day x 5 days per weeks x 52 weeks = $936 total per year.
Lawn Maintenance
Basic maintenance of the exterior property is a less common, but possible duty of a homemaker. This could include things such as mowing, debris removal, edging and trimming the lawn. These services cost about $30 a week on average.
Total cost for services: $30 per week x 52 weeks = $1,560 total per year.
The Bottom Line
Total for a year of all services is: $52,260 + $6,137 + $31,200 + $4,168 + $936 + $1,560 = $96,261 per year.
The daily work of a homemaker can sometimes be taken for granted by his or her family members. However, these services could earn a homemaker a considerable wage if he or she took those skills to the marketplace. Homemakers in general contribute a lot more to the home in addition to these tasks, and no amount of money can fill those needs.
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Remember This When You & Your Loved One Is Trying To Have A Baby!
Smoking/Drinking - The party's over for your partner once you start trying for a baby, but what about you? Same goes for men, says Cole. Sperm is just as affected by tobacco, alcohol, and drugs as a woman's eggs. Research suggests that this troublesome trio may lower sperm counts and slow motility. That means you should completely cut out recreational drugs, such as marijuana and cocaine, cut down on alcohol, and quit smoking before you start trying. Plus, kicking the habit now can help your family later. Secondhand smoke is dangerous for your partner and your children, both in utero and after birth. Even the use of chewing tobacco has been linked to poor sperm function.
A lowered sperm count isn't the only reason you should lay off the bottle. Research shows that dads who drink the equivalent of two drinks a day during the month before conception have babies who weigh on average 6.5 ounces less than other babies. Low birth weight is a serious medical condition that can affect your child's health and behavior for the rest of his life.
continue reading below...
A lowered sperm count isn't the only reason you should lay off the bottle. Research shows that dads who drink the equivalent of two drinks a day during the month before conception have babies who weigh on average 6.5 ounces less than other babies. Low birth weight is a serious medical condition that can affect your child's health and behavior for the rest of his life.
continue reading below...
YOU DON'T REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT’S GONE!!
When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I wa...nt a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction it would have on our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce.
—At least, in the eyes of our son—-I’m a loving husband….
THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. "IT'S NOT" the Mansion or House, the Car, Property, the Money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Most of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up...
YOU DON'T REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT’S GONE!!
With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.
When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.
On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.
On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out.
To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.
On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I ran up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was too busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from whatever negative reaction it would have on our son, in case we pushed through with the divorce.
—At least, in the eyes of our son—-I’m a loving husband….
THE SMALL DETAILS OF YOUR LIVES ARE WHAT REALLY MATTER IN A RELATIONSHIP. "IT'S NOT" the Mansion or House, the Car, Property, the Money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!
If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Most of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up...
YOU DON'T REALIZE WHAT YOU HAVE UNTIL IT’S GONE!!
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Things That Lower Your Sperm Count
Age
Smoking/Drinking - The party's over for your partner once you start trying for a baby, but what about you? Same goes for men, says Cole. Sperm is just as affected by tobacco, alcohol, and drugs as a woman's eggs. Research suggests that this troublesome trio may lower sperm counts and slow motility. That means you should completely cut out recreational drugs, such as marijuana and cocaine, cut down on alcohol, and quit smoking before you start trying. Plus, kicking the habit now can help your family later. Secondhand smoke is dangerous for your partner and your children, both in utero and after birth. Even the use of chewing tobacco has been linked to poor sperm function.
A lowered sperm count isn't the only reason you should lay off the bottle. Research shows that dads who drink the equivalent of two drinks a day during the month before conception have babies who weigh on average 6.5 ounces less than other babies. Low birth weight is a serious medical condition that can affect your child's health and behavior for the rest of his life.
Obesity - Some studies, but not all, have found an association between obesity in men and low sperm count.
Emotional Stress. Stress may interfere with the hormone GnRH and
reduce sperm counts.
Sexual Issues. In less than 1% of males with infertility problems, a problem with sexual intercourse or technique will affect fertility.
Impotence, premature ejaculation, or psychologic or relationship problems can contribute to infertility, although these conditions are usually very treatable.
Lubricants used with condoms, including spermicides, oils, and
Vaseline, can affect fertility. If you need a sperm friendly lubricant, the choice of many couples trying to get pregnant is Pre-Seed.
Testicular Exposure to Overheating.
Substance Abuse
Malnutrition and Nutrient Deficiencies.
Bicycling - Bicycling has been linked to impotence in men and also may affect the sperm count. Pressure from the bike seat may damage blood vessels and nerves that are responsible for erections. Mountain biking, which involves riding on off-road terrain, exposes the perineum (the region between the scrotum and the anus) to more extreme shocks and vibrations and increases the risk for injuries to the scrotum.
Genetic Factors
Environmental Assaults
Exposure to Heavy Metals - Chronic exposure to heavy metals such as lead, cadmium, or arsenic may affect sperm production and most often cause a reduced production in otherwise healthy males. Trace amounts of these metals in semen seem to inhibit the function of enzymes contained in the acrosome, the membrane that covers the head of the sperm.
Radiation Treatment.
Varicocele - Varicoceles are dilated veins in the scrotum (just as an individual may have varicose veins in their legs). These veins are dilated because the blood does not drain properly from them. These dilated veins allow extra blood to pool in the scrotum, which has a negative effect on the sperm production. This condition is the most common reversible cause of male factor infertility and may be corrected by minor outpatient surgery.
Most experts do this microscopically to preserve the arterial supply and lymphatics. A sub-inguinal incision (about 1 inch above the penis and 1 inch from the midline) is usually used, as this avoids incising the abdominal muscles and creates less post-operative pain.
Things that can help!
1. Morning sex = higher sperm count: If you are trying to conceive, time intercourse when his sperm count is at its highest. Researchers have found that men generally have a higher sperm count in the mornings. Men’s sexual interest may be higher in the mornings as well.
2. His weight matters: Women are not the only ones who have weight related fertility issues. Men who are overweight or underweight are more likely to have problems with infertility. Having too much or too little body fat may affect a man’s hormone levels. Scientists in one Finnish study found that a 20 lb weight gain may increase a man’s chance of being infertile by 10 percent.
3. Have more sex not less: Men with low sperm counts are often advised to abstain from sex in order to improve their sperm count, but new research suggests that while this may improve sperm count, too much abstinence can damage the DNA of the sperm that is produced. Australian researchers have found that having daily sex actually improves the quality, if not the quantity of sperm. The thought behind this is that regular ejaculations get rid of the old sperm and make way for newer healthier sperm.
4. Folic acid is not only good for the goose, but it is also good for the gander. Most women know that taking a folic acid supplement is important during childbearing years because it can prevent certain birth defects. You may not have known that it is also important for men to eat a diet containing folic acid. A recent study by researchers at the University of California, Berkley found that men who had lower levels of folic acid (or folate) in their diets had a higher rate of chromosomal abnormalities in their sperm.
5. Avoid soy products. A recent study published by Oxford University Press’s online publication Human Reproduction, suggests that eating a diet high in soy foods could cause men to have a lower sperm count. According to the study, men who ate soy foods were more likely to have lower sperm counts (although not necessarily abnormally low) than men who did not eat soy.
6. Skip the lubricants. Lubricants can impede the movement of sperm. A woman’s cervical mucous is designed to help transport sperm, but many commercial lubricants have the opposite effect. Lubricants like KY Jelly, baby oil, or petroleum jelly have been shown to slow down or damage sperm. Saliva can also damage sperm. One lubricant that is okay to use is Pre-seed. According to one study in the ASRM’s journal of Fertility and Sterility, Pre-seed was not shown to harm or slow down sperm.
7. Watch out for cell phones and lap tops. There have been a few studies that have shown that excessive use of lap tops or cell phones can cause sperm damage. Lap tops, if placed on a man’s lap, get hot over time. The increase in scrotal temperature may have a negative effect on a man’s sperm if he keeps a lap top sitting on his lap for extended periods of time. Similarly, cell phone emissions might also cause sperm damage. Keeping a cell phone in a close proximity to a man’s scrotum could potentially cause a decrease in sperm quality, according to a small research study from the Cleveland Clinic.
8. Buy some boxers - The jury is still out on the boxers vs. briefs debate. Some say the testes can get overheated in briefs, inhibiting sperm production. Others say it's really not an issue unless sperm count is already a concern. Cole points out that if wearing boxers can potentially give you an edge over briefs, why not go with boxers for a few months? It's a fairly simple wardrobe adjustment that could speed things along.
9. Steer clear of the hot tub/hot showers - Don't look to hot tubs, saunas, or hot baths as a way to unwind before all this baby business gets under way. Heat kills sperm. And because they take up to three months to regenerate, if you spend a long time in the hot tub in January, it could be April before you have a full set of swimmers again. Testicles function best when they keep their cool: "The boys" are happiest at 94 to 96 degrees, a couple of degrees cooler than normal body temperature. To protect your swimmers, avoid hot tubs and saunas for up to three months before trying to conceive.
Smoking/Drinking - The party's over for your partner once you start trying for a baby, but what about you? Same goes for men, says Cole. Sperm is just as affected by tobacco, alcohol, and drugs as a woman's eggs. Research suggests that this troublesome trio may lower sperm counts and slow motility. That means you should completely cut out recreational drugs, such as marijuana and cocaine, cut down on alcohol, and quit smoking before you start trying. Plus, kicking the habit now can help your family later. Secondhand smoke is dangerous for your partner and your children, both in utero and after birth. Even the use of chewing tobacco has been linked to poor sperm function.
A lowered sperm count isn't the only reason you should lay off the bottle. Research shows that dads who drink the equivalent of two drinks a day during the month before conception have babies who weigh on average 6.5 ounces less than other babies. Low birth weight is a serious medical condition that can affect your child's health and behavior for the rest of his life.
Obesity - Some studies, but not all, have found an association between obesity in men and low sperm count.
Emotional Stress. Stress may interfere with the hormone GnRH and
reduce sperm counts.
Sexual Issues. In less than 1% of males with infertility problems, a problem with sexual intercourse or technique will affect fertility.
Impotence, premature ejaculation, or psychologic or relationship problems can contribute to infertility, although these conditions are usually very treatable.
Lubricants used with condoms, including spermicides, oils, and
Vaseline, can affect fertility. If you need a sperm friendly lubricant, the choice of many couples trying to get pregnant is Pre-Seed.
Testicular Exposure to Overheating.
Substance Abuse
Malnutrition and Nutrient Deficiencies.
Bicycling - Bicycling has been linked to impotence in men and also may affect the sperm count. Pressure from the bike seat may damage blood vessels and nerves that are responsible for erections. Mountain biking, which involves riding on off-road terrain, exposes the perineum (the region between the scrotum and the anus) to more extreme shocks and vibrations and increases the risk for injuries to the scrotum.
Genetic Factors
Environmental Assaults
Exposure to Heavy Metals - Chronic exposure to heavy metals such as lead, cadmium, or arsenic may affect sperm production and most often cause a reduced production in otherwise healthy males. Trace amounts of these metals in semen seem to inhibit the function of enzymes contained in the acrosome, the membrane that covers the head of the sperm.
Radiation Treatment.
Varicocele - Varicoceles are dilated veins in the scrotum (just as an individual may have varicose veins in their legs). These veins are dilated because the blood does not drain properly from them. These dilated veins allow extra blood to pool in the scrotum, which has a negative effect on the sperm production. This condition is the most common reversible cause of male factor infertility and may be corrected by minor outpatient surgery.
Most experts do this microscopically to preserve the arterial supply and lymphatics. A sub-inguinal incision (about 1 inch above the penis and 1 inch from the midline) is usually used, as this avoids incising the abdominal muscles and creates less post-operative pain.
Things that can help!
1. Morning sex = higher sperm count: If you are trying to conceive, time intercourse when his sperm count is at its highest. Researchers have found that men generally have a higher sperm count in the mornings. Men’s sexual interest may be higher in the mornings as well.
2. His weight matters: Women are not the only ones who have weight related fertility issues. Men who are overweight or underweight are more likely to have problems with infertility. Having too much or too little body fat may affect a man’s hormone levels. Scientists in one Finnish study found that a 20 lb weight gain may increase a man’s chance of being infertile by 10 percent.
3. Have more sex not less: Men with low sperm counts are often advised to abstain from sex in order to improve their sperm count, but new research suggests that while this may improve sperm count, too much abstinence can damage the DNA of the sperm that is produced. Australian researchers have found that having daily sex actually improves the quality, if not the quantity of sperm. The thought behind this is that regular ejaculations get rid of the old sperm and make way for newer healthier sperm.
4. Folic acid is not only good for the goose, but it is also good for the gander. Most women know that taking a folic acid supplement is important during childbearing years because it can prevent certain birth defects. You may not have known that it is also important for men to eat a diet containing folic acid. A recent study by researchers at the University of California, Berkley found that men who had lower levels of folic acid (or folate) in their diets had a higher rate of chromosomal abnormalities in their sperm.
5. Avoid soy products. A recent study published by Oxford University Press’s online publication Human Reproduction, suggests that eating a diet high in soy foods could cause men to have a lower sperm count. According to the study, men who ate soy foods were more likely to have lower sperm counts (although not necessarily abnormally low) than men who did not eat soy.
6. Skip the lubricants. Lubricants can impede the movement of sperm. A woman’s cervical mucous is designed to help transport sperm, but many commercial lubricants have the opposite effect. Lubricants like KY Jelly, baby oil, or petroleum jelly have been shown to slow down or damage sperm. Saliva can also damage sperm. One lubricant that is okay to use is Pre-seed. According to one study in the ASRM’s journal of Fertility and Sterility, Pre-seed was not shown to harm or slow down sperm.
7. Watch out for cell phones and lap tops. There have been a few studies that have shown that excessive use of lap tops or cell phones can cause sperm damage. Lap tops, if placed on a man’s lap, get hot over time. The increase in scrotal temperature may have a negative effect on a man’s sperm if he keeps a lap top sitting on his lap for extended periods of time. Similarly, cell phone emissions might also cause sperm damage. Keeping a cell phone in a close proximity to a man’s scrotum could potentially cause a decrease in sperm quality, according to a small research study from the Cleveland Clinic.
8. Buy some boxers - The jury is still out on the boxers vs. briefs debate. Some say the testes can get overheated in briefs, inhibiting sperm production. Others say it's really not an issue unless sperm count is already a concern. Cole points out that if wearing boxers can potentially give you an edge over briefs, why not go with boxers for a few months? It's a fairly simple wardrobe adjustment that could speed things along.
9. Steer clear of the hot tub/hot showers - Don't look to hot tubs, saunas, or hot baths as a way to unwind before all this baby business gets under way. Heat kills sperm. And because they take up to three months to regenerate, if you spend a long time in the hot tub in January, it could be April before you have a full set of swimmers again. Testicles function best when they keep their cool: "The boys" are happiest at 94 to 96 degrees, a couple of degrees cooler than normal body temperature. To protect your swimmers, avoid hot tubs and saunas for up to three months before trying to conceive.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
New Year Updates!
Well wanted to wish everyone and Happy New Years & Hope all is well with everyone, just a few updates of whats going on around this crazy part!
This year I will be on Blogger for 8yrs? wow! Time does go by =)
Hubby & I are getting rdy to celebrate our 7yr wedding anniversary next month for those of ya that are "waiting the curtain to fall" or thought "they are a lost cause" ya keep thinking that your loss really, reason we never keep in touch and your alone without friends um yep yep thats what happens when you talk shit about friends your not a true friend or family member and need to get over yourself
Anyhoo ;)
Life couldn't be better, sure I mentioned we had new neighbors buy the other half of our house, they are really nice and we love hanging out with them, Monday we are suppose to go over and relax by the fireplace with some wine or something really haven't set in stone what will be on the menu but we shall soon =)
Abby (lady next door) and I been doing zumba every chance we get, its pretty fun and I can't believe how much she can jump around being almost 5 months preggers =) She rocks it! Im so proud of her =)
I started some new art work for her kids room, her daughter will be 2 very soon and shes doing pooh in her kids room and she is a artist as well which i find exciting that we are into the samethings, the guys just work a lot but we manage, shes a housewife like me so it works out =)
We all just have much to be thankful for
I also got ninja blenders for Christmas which I been having fun experimenting with and back on track with losing weight, 55lbs is the goal this year to have a total loss of 170lbs, I gained 195lbs when I quit smoking 12yrs ago to this very month!
Hubby is coming up on his 3yr smoke free, im so proud of him, we made a pack that he quits i lose weight and we been rockin it, now if this year we can have a baby things will be more rockin!
I have my apt this week so we shall see how things go.
I am just overall happy & excited and things are pretty well going, we are thankful & blessed for a lot of things, we just thank god for providing us and blessing us with what we have and what he plans for the future =)
This year I will be on Blogger for 8yrs? wow! Time does go by =)
Hubby & I are getting rdy to celebrate our 7yr wedding anniversary next month for those of ya that are "waiting the curtain to fall" or thought "they are a lost cause" ya keep thinking that your loss really, reason we never keep in touch and your alone without friends um yep yep thats what happens when you talk shit about friends your not a true friend or family member and need to get over yourself
Anyhoo ;)
Life couldn't be better, sure I mentioned we had new neighbors buy the other half of our house, they are really nice and we love hanging out with them, Monday we are suppose to go over and relax by the fireplace with some wine or something really haven't set in stone what will be on the menu but we shall soon =)
Abby (lady next door) and I been doing zumba every chance we get, its pretty fun and I can't believe how much she can jump around being almost 5 months preggers =) She rocks it! Im so proud of her =)
I started some new art work for her kids room, her daughter will be 2 very soon and shes doing pooh in her kids room and she is a artist as well which i find exciting that we are into the samethings, the guys just work a lot but we manage, shes a housewife like me so it works out =)
We all just have much to be thankful for
I also got ninja blenders for Christmas which I been having fun experimenting with and back on track with losing weight, 55lbs is the goal this year to have a total loss of 170lbs, I gained 195lbs when I quit smoking 12yrs ago to this very month!
Hubby is coming up on his 3yr smoke free, im so proud of him, we made a pack that he quits i lose weight and we been rockin it, now if this year we can have a baby things will be more rockin!
I have my apt this week so we shall see how things go.
I am just overall happy & excited and things are pretty well going, we are thankful & blessed for a lot of things, we just thank god for providing us and blessing us with what we have and what he plans for the future =)
Sunday, January 08, 2012
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Wednesday, January 04, 2012
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