Love Profile

Sagittarius - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits: Your playful nature brings out the happy inner-child in dates You're willing to take risks in love... and reap the rewards You've got a killer sense of humor that gets talking with any hottie you meet Your negative traits: Sometimes your sarcasm comes off as biting and abrasive You can be brutally honest, tactless, and truthful even when it hurts You're such a free spirit that you find it hard to commit to one person Your ideal partner: Someone high energy who will pick up and out with you whenever Is creative and fun - thinking of new adventures for the two of you Is bold... and not afraid to tell you "I love you" early on Your dating style: Unpredictable. You never know how the night is going to end up. Your seduction style: Daring. You're always pushing to try something new in the bedroom. Full of imagination. You've always got a new fantasy you're dying to try. Spiritually driven. Sex for you can be an other-worldly act. Tips for the future: Realize that while freedom is great - sometimes a stable relationship is better. It's not all about you. Focus on your partner's needs every once and a while. Make up your mind about your partner, and stick to it. Your fickle will ruin things otherwise. Best color to attract mate: Purple Best day for a date: Thursday

What's Your Love Profile?

Questions

1.Spell your name without an R, E, S, H, I, M, or A.
TN

2. Are you single?
No, Married

3. What's your favorite number?
7

4. Favorite color?
BlacK, Red, Green, Purple, Blue

5. Least favorite color?
White

6. What are you listening to?
My Playlist

7. Do you dance around in your underwear?
Um yeah

8. Are you happy with your life right now?
Friends Yes, Other things no...

10. What is your favorite subject in school?
I'm not in school

11. Do you shop at Hollister / Abercrombie / AE?
none

12. How do you make money?
Beauty Items I sell and no its not Avon

13. Where will you graduate from?
I graduated already

14. Are you outgoing?
Kinda.

15. Two words to describe you?
Loving and Caring

16. Do you like McDonaldS ?
Its okay

17. Do you own big sunglasses?
Um, NO

18. Do you sing in the shower?
Always

19. What should you be doing right now?
Whatever I want, but um maybe i should be sleeping

THE CANs:

Can you blow a bubble?
yes

Can you do a cart wheel?
no

Can you touch your toes?
yes

Can you whistle?
yes

Can you wiggle your ears?
nope

Can you roll your tongue?
Yes

THE DIDs:

Did you ever want to be a doctor?
Yeah

Did you ever want to be a firefighter?
nope

THE DOs:

Do you know how to swim?
yes

Do you like roller coasters?
never been on one

THE DOES:

Does hair loss run through your family?
Yes

Does your car get good gas mileage?
dont have a car

Does your family have family picnics?
Nope

THE HAVEs:

Have you ever been to the ocean?
Yes

Have you ever gone fishing?
Yes

THE HOWs:

How did you find out about Myspace?
A friend told me about it

How many of your friends on it have you seen?
all of them

How much money do you have on you right noW?
$40

THE LASTs:

Last person you hung out with?
Jill my friend and Neighbour

Last thing you said out loud?
Have a good night Rich

Last thing someone said to you?
see you later Tina

THE WHATs:

What is the temperature outside?
lil muggy

What was the last restaurant you ate at?
Hometown Buffet

What was the last thing you bought?
Food

Can't Sleep, Blah!

Well It's Sunday Night err well.. Monday Morning!
It's almost 4am...
I can't sleep.
I was having lag issues in City Of Heroes again! Today... all the times Id log in, it really sucked! Cause I wanted to play!
Well last night (Saturday) My neighbour Jill came over and we sat back and had a few drinks, It was fun just to hang out and chat!
Joel was at work and we where hanging out chatting about girl stuff :)
After she left I hopped in game to play and hang out with my best friend <3
It was a pretty great night until I got tired, didn't wanna sleep but I had to cause I had to call work at noon to see if they needed me!
They didn't so... I ended up cleaning for like 3hrs.
I then had lunch then relaxed a bit and then took a nap.
Woke up and tried to play some City Of Heroes.
BUT!
I been having these lag issues today and it was/is making me so mad!
I wanna play my game :(
Usually if I reset my modem and stuff Im okay but this time it didn't work!
Ahh well Ill fight with it tomorrow sometime after work or something, I hope I can get it to work cause I really wanna play! I wanna get Snow and her partner up a few lvls before we duo our next tf goal.
We duo'd Moonfire, Posi, Synapse, and Sister Py so far.
Next is Citadel
We can do it!
I just need to get rid of this lag!
Anyways....
I still need that vacation =P
I got some money saved up but thats for other stuff
Like getting my kitty Salem fixed, Scyko is fixed now.
Well I am gonna try and get some sleep now...
Thx for reading my ramble post, gotta love reading blogs when the blogger is half asleep and half awake but they can't sleep eh :)

Goodnite

Y Noire Y

Be - Jessica Simpson

Lately I find I'm caught up in these thoughts
How will you come to me
How will we connect these hearts
Are you somewhere near
Hidden like a four-leaf clover
Are you miles away
Are we getting any closer
Are we getting any closer

I already see us moving mountains
I already see us walk in water
I already see the clouds we're flying
Over and under
I can really see us having babies
Walking through the park and being lazy
I already see myself falling in love eternally
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be

I already see us moving mountains
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be
I already see us walk in water
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be

Being with you
Is a like a scene from a dream in heaven
I feel you running through
All my senses
Will you taste like rain
Can I breathe you like air
Will I lose myself in your arms somewhere

I already see us moving mountains
I already see us walk in water
I already see the clouds we're flying
Over and under
I can really see us having babies
Walking through the park and being lazy
I already see myself falling in love eternally
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be
I think that's just the way it's gonna be

And I know and I know and I know
Love can move a mountain
And I know and I know
It's gonna be even better than I imagined
Putting all my trust in you
Putting all my trust in you
We'll make this dream come true

I can really see us having babies
Walking through the park and being lazy
I already see myself falling in love eternally
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be
And I think that's just the way it's gonna be

I already see us moving mountains
The way it's gonna be
I already see us walk in water
The way it's gonna be
I can really see us having babies
The way it's gonna be
I already see myself falling in love
Meant to be
I already see us moving mountains
The way it's gonna be
I already see us walk in water
To me
The way it's gonna be
I can really see us having babies
The way it's gonna be

Today . . . .

Today Is almost over, it's the 25th of May.
Wow, where did the time go?
Today was a alright day, pretty busy at work.
The holiday weekend and stuff :)
Unfort I work Saturday and Monday and a maybe on Sunday. But I can't see them needing me then cause there is like 3-4 ppl already sceduled.
I am sure they will be ok :)

I so need a vacation!
I want to go to AZ to visit and meet all my friends, Id so LOVE to go for the 3rd of June cause thats when they are having the AZ meet up for CoH.
I so want alot of stuff right now!
But I can't have them right now and it hurts :(
Well this is gonna be a short post, I need to get some sleep before 3am cause I am gonna get up then and play some CoH.
Hm.. not sure what else to write but I am still nervious and scared about the future a wee bit, I wanna know whats gonna happen and stuff.
That is normal though isn't it?
heh..
Well nap time, write more another time
Take care everyone :)

*hugs*

~Noire

Feelings & Updates ....

Well It's now May 24th, couple days pasted since my last blog update.
Yesterday I was really emotional I dunno why but It made me really scared of what is gonna happen in my future but I had a really good friend of mine sit with me and chat with me all day and tell me I am gonna be okay and you know I believe him because he has taken amazing care of me for quite awhile and been there for me. Even in the months we didn't talk he was still there for me :)
I know where my place is now and I want to be there so bad! Yes AZ! I wanna go visit right now! lol.
Well this is gonna be a short post, I wanna get soem stuff done before I have to go to work so Ill probably post more later :)

~Noire

Added:

Oh and this weekend sometime hoping to go to the mother in laws for a BBQ or something, see how that goes :) She called this morning and invited us over on a day I am not workin and stuff.

Ill explain feelings later =P

Not Sure What To Post But Here Goes Nothing ....

Well it's been almost a month of me going back to work more.
It's been nice to get everything I need without getting a eye roll.
Now that I have my own moneys, it's pretty nice.
I still need to get Salem fixed and some flea stuffs, oh and some more dye for my hair, its growing out again. Looks like frap.
Anyways...
I was actually looking forward to D&D today, because I was told it was changed to Monday nights. Well I guess it wasn't, pissed me off too.
Joel went to his friends to play this morning, I woke up house was quiet, a bit to quiet.
Yeah so sue me I got worried, but anyways!
I found out where he was and all is good but again PISSED cause I wanted to play too.
Well today is another day off I hope it goes ALOT better then Thursday & Friday of last week, omg I wanted to go beat things up I was so frustrated last time.
I so needed a punching bag!
I am so glad those days are over with though.
Another week is here and more very busy days ahead.
Work is one, cleaning up and moving stuff around is another.
As much as I don't want to go back to work as much as I do, I know I have too.
This point there is no choice because of all the crazy stuff going on and yeah I do need stuff, I miss being at home and taking care of it because nothing gets done still until I do it, very frustrating!
Note I said NEED, I mean yeah there is stuff I want... games, going on a vacation to AZ or other places to visit people. BUT I gotta get the needs outta the way first, and the stuff that HAS to be done.
Some days I just wanna crawl into a corner and not come out cause its so stressful and I am so feeling it health wise. I know I don't say anything but yeah, my stomach is in constant knots and I have a headache that just wont go away sometimes. With that time of the month, heh I wont go there but I am always emotional during this time. Ask anyone that does know that lol.
Like now!


I just wish I knew where my life is headed, I have so many hopes and dreams I want to come true, I want them to come true so bad it makes me cry sometimes.
I just want to be happy and safe and loved and cared for, for who I am, be happy!

Also when I do things for people they will actually say Thank you!
I also just want someone I can love for who they are and they will/can love me back for who I am too. Someone I can hang out with and have fun with and they will want to do the same, we can also go out and hang out and have a good time just the two of us. Just let me be me and I will let them be them. I am not very big being a people person a night a home cuddled up on the couch will do just fine watching a movie or headed to play a game and just relax.

I don't really need/want many things when it comes to stuff, I mean I have the game I play City Of Heroes/Villains. That makes me quite happy cause I do have alot of friends there and yeah sure Id LOVE to meet them all one day, that could very well happen soon enough I'm sure. Sure I would love to go to a movie or something but I have no one to go with presently.

Hmm I dunno what else to write, I am rambling, I am still partly asleep too so heh okay, I'm done for now.

~Noire

A Small Rant

I am posting a small rant
I am getting so tired of this
VERY TIRED!
I have suppose to be 2 friends back home I been friends with since high school
Late last year I got a MSG from one
Msg'd her back
Tried calling... no answer
Finally got in touch with her
Talked for about a hour
Next day msg'd her
Nothing back for a few months
Then outta the blue I get a msg, msg back
Took about a week but FINALLY get one back
Then again not for sometime
So I tried calling for a bit...
Called like 6 times one night...
Cause she told me.. call a few times cause i might be sleeping or not reckon the number so i know its you or something so i did that... few nights same thing...
I finally said you know what... SCREW IT!
I then get a msg on myspace come feb i think... I msg back
nothing still nothing so you know what I am done I'm tired of trying cause I am the only one that seems to do so anymore, I am tried of anything and everything being one sided
If its not these so called friends then its other people I used to talk too from back home. I need to go where I know I will be accepted and loved by many for who I am, and i do know where that is....
I know who my TRUE friends are though and I thank every single one of them!
I mean this one so called friend of mine... I seen her post on myspace last nite but she didn't say SHIT to me! So you know what SCREW IT! I am tired...
I actually had gifts I was thinking of sending back home for them but I am so tired of doing things for people and getting crapped on in the end.
I threw a bday party for a friend for her 19th... $350 bucks later.... Our friendship and other bunches of BS come flying out.... Christmas time a few years back... bought gifts did a party... another $800 bucks later.... done... so I am done doing things for people that don't keep in touch or say thank you ...
Or when I leave people msgs and they don't msg back but they check there msgs on a pretty good daily bases! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! or come on IM and don't msg oh no that would break a nail... err finger or something, I went to msg but before I could even get a msg off they sign out >_> <_<
Again I know who my true friends are and I love you guys! and Id do anything for them!
Thank you all for being my friends, you know who u are!

*HUGS*

I know this is harsh and I am sorry but I am so tired of being tossed around and stuff like a wet towel... I just hope these 2 so called "friends" realize how I feel. . . all I can say right now to them is .... I wont even go there .... xD

Sunshine & Love - Jessica Andrew's

If I had a zillion dollars and the whole
world on a string
Diamonds in my pockets and the power of a king
I don’t think I’d be any happier than I am right now
‘Cause money’s only paper, It might buy a lot of stuff
But if money’s what your chasing
You won’t ever have enough
‘Cause the best things in life
Might not be free but they sure are cheap

Like sunshine, blue skies and the river on
a hot hot day
Moonlight and a good fight, standing out
In the pouring rain
So many things that money buys
But really nothing I can find
Like sunshine and love

There is something about the moment
When two hemispheres collide
And someone opens up their world and lets
You see inside
And you realize that everything that you’ve
been waiting for
For your whole life is standing right there
There ain’t nothing like love

Like sunshine, blue skies and the river on
a hot hot day
Moonlight and a good fight, standing out
In the pouring rain
So many things that money buys
But really nothing I can find
Like sunshine and love

And sunshine, blue skies and the river on a
Hot hot day
Moonlight and a good fight standing out
In the pouring rain

Like sunshine, blue skies and the river on
a hot hot day
Moonlight and a good fight, standing out
In the pouring rain
So many things that money buys
But really nothing I can find
Like sunshine and love

Few Updates!

Well on Sunday I went to Comicon!
First one ever!
Yes I am a noob!
It was great fun!
I got to meet Jim Lee and a bunch of other fokes!
I got a ton of comics too!

Hm.. what else...

Oh Issue 9 was released last week in City Of Heroes!

W00T!

Awesome stuff.... I guess inventions ... blah!

But Pyro Commander Did get some Tech Wings Today!
Thanks Onuris!





They look great!


As for the rl stuff with hubby, he said to me today he wants to work on this... finally after how many months of me just being the one thats wanted to work on things.

I just don't know I mean I made up my mind already . . .

I just wanna be safe and happy ....

Blah anyways I will finish this later, writing this half asleep!

Nite!

What's Left Of Me . . .

Watch my life pass me by
in the review mirror
Pictures frozen in time
are becoming clearer
I don't wanna waste another day stuck in the
shadow of my mistakes
yeah


'cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin,
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have
What's left of me

I've been dying inside
Little by little
Nowhere to go
But goin' out of my mind
In endless circles
runnin' from myself until
You gave me a reason for standing still

And I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
But you can have
What's left of me

Falling faster
Barely breathing
Give me something to believe in
Tell me it's not all in my head

Take what's left of this man
Make me whole once again

'cause I want you
and I feel you
crawling underneath my skin
like a hunger
like a burning
to find the place I've never been
now I'm broken
and I'm fading
I'm half the man I thought I would be
You can have
All that's left
Yeah, yeah, yeah
What's left of me

I've been dying inside you see
I'm going out of my mind
Out of my mind
I'm just runnin' in circles all the time
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Of me
Just runnin' in circles in my mind
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left
Will you take what's left of me
Take what's left of me

Let Me Be Your Butterfly! ^_^

I've been searching for a man
All across Japan
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who is strong
But still a little shy
Yes I need, I need my samurai

Ay, ay, ay,
I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue,
Make the colours in the sky
Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue,
Make the colours in the sky

I've been searching in the woods
And high upon the hills
Just to find, to find my samurai
Someone who won't regret
To keep me in his net
Yes I need, I need my samurai

Ay, ay, ay,
I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue,
Make the colours in the sky
Ay, ay, ay, I'm your little butterfly
Green, black and blue,
Make the colours in the sky

Where's my samurai ?

Where's my samurai ?

A Broken Wing . . .

She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave him everything she ever had
He'd break her spirit down
Then come lovin' up on her
Give a little then take it back

She'd tell him about her dreams
He'd just shoot 'em down
Lord he loved to make her cry
You're crazy for believin'
You'll ever leave the ground
He said Only angels know how to fly

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

One Sunday morning
She didn't go to church
He wondered why she didn't leave
He went up to the bedroom
Found a note by the window
With the curtains blowin' in the breeze

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

All I Want In Life . . . .

All I ever wanted and still want in life is someone who will accept me for who I am, take care of me make me feel comfortable, feel safe, love me for who I am, be happy... also let me do the same for them in return, and much more. I am such a girl, I know.

I am not a girl that thinks money will make me happy, I don't like makeup but I will wear it because of the job I do, I am not the type of girl that wants to go get my nails done every week or have my hair done every month.... or need the high expensive clothes to look good. I'm comfortable in a pair of pj pants and a t-shirt. I cut my own hair and dye my own hair. Once in a blue moon I will go get it trimmed by a professional just cause.

My dream is to be a stay at home mom, work part time if need be. I love to stay home and take care of the house, cook and take care of the person I am with. Yeah I know I am old fashioned so what. hehe.

I am also a very emotional person, sometimes more then normal. I cry at love story based movies for pete sakes. I love to cook, I want to finish my cookbook one day.

Blah... let me finish this another time, stay tuned!

Updates, Life, Everything!

Well today is Thursday, May 3rd.
Allots been happening in the past few months, I couldn't post I didn't wanna post about, just because of all the drama.
I am still not going to post EVERYTHING.
But just somethings.
Like stuff that been going on in the past month or so.
Couple months ago I get a IM from my cuz, telling me grandma was sick, she was rushed to the hospital. Turns out she has leukemia, they will not tell her or treat her for it.
This put a knife in my heart.
They said the reason why is because it isn't bad right now, they feel with her age (91) that she will pass of old age first before the leukemia has a chance to do anything.
Okay so maybe there right who knows!
Things been falling apart for me for awhile now
I been a emotional mess, to the point where i just see like tunnel vision.
I think of others before I think of myself, Ive always been that way.
My husband and I been having our problems too, things are not what they used to be. It's really hard because I did have my hopes for a great marriage.
I have been trying my best to keep things together, we did the marriage counselling and well there is just so much drama there.
I rather not talk about that.
ANYWAYS!
Couple weeks ago I get a IM from my cuz who hasn't talked to me in MONTHS!
My aunt passed away....
Okay last time i felt this bad is when I found out about my other aunt the past away a few years back from my ex-boyfriends MOTHER. Not family ....
Sure its great they told me this time but... A DAY BEFORE THE FUNERAL!
That makes me so mad, I didn't even know she was sick!
Again this is where the tunnel vision comes in.
My husband asked me on his birthday... you wanna work on this?
I mean... what is there to seriously work on?
I been trying for months and he hasn't even came to me or anything to try!
He's been working and sleeping
Sure I'm not perfect far from it!
I needed time to think after everything that's been going on.
He thinks the perfect husband is working.... thats great!
I mean I do live a pretty good life... I work Part time, Take care of the house etc... I love that! But..... When I needed the love and support from him I wasn't getting it.
Sure workings great I love being home.. but where is the emotional and passion and support and all that stuff? I was getting more of that from my online friends and friends from City Of Heroes/Villains then I was him... All I aksed for and wanted was time to think.
He took that as a NO he told me a few days ago when we had a talk.
Then after the talk he pulls out a number of ONE of the girls hes been talking to for the past few weeks... So he says!
*smacks head on desk*
Okay......
Sure I will amit that fucking hurt!
To top it off 2 weeks ago is when I found out about my aunt!
That pisses me off that he says sorry and *hugs* and that's all i get!
I mean shit honestly... that does make me mad!
Sad too!
Hurt YES!
Everyone I talk to keeps telling me .... GET OUT!
Sure easy for you to say!
Kinda hard when I do have a bunch of things in the way and stuff I NEED & HAVE to do!
Don't get me wrong I do still care after everything that's happened, I do still love him but I don't see a future.. We both need help and hes not willing, I am getting the help I need and trying to continue with it.
Also this past Sunday there was a shooting at my work .....
I totally freaked when I heard this!
I was suppose to go to work that day!
But they didn't need me.
Everyone is okay at my work but 3 people died :'(
What is going on with the world today!
Sometimes I just don't know anymore!
But I do know something !!
I have a true best friend!
I love him for putting up with me and accepting me for me!!
Even after the months of not speaking, he forgave me!
Because he understands : )
I am sure life is gonna work out for the best, I just need time.
I need the help I need and I have a feeling its gonna be okay!
There is more to the story on what happened and all but I wont post that.
That is something that is pretty private
Anyways time to eat, need to so I don't get sick : )

Anime Hair Color

What's your Anime Hair Colour?(GIRLS ONLY)(BEAUTIFUL ANIME PICS)

Anime Hair Colour:Purple
Personality:Your calm yet adventurous!Your pretty smart,but not geniues smart.You are also a great friend!
Element:Music,Cosmic
Perfect Man:Some one friendly,who likes to read and has a soft spot for baby animals.Or someone funny with brains.

Take this quiz!

Just A Lil Bit!

And it hurts me, 'cause I care and I'm telling you why
I'm unhappy so if you love me
A little bit is not that much to ask to make things right
Oh yeah, oh yeah, a little bit goes a long, long way

I Belong To Me

Oh yeah

It's not that I don't wanna share my life with you baby
It's just that I'm the one I need to be true to baby
And I won't give up me to be part of you

It's not that I don't want to have you in my life baby
it's just you gotta know that its got to be right baby
Before I open up my heart to you

I don't need somebody to complete me
I complete myself
Nobody has got to belong to somebody else

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

I gotta let you know before I let you in baby
That who I am is not about who I am with baby
That don't mean I don't wanna be here with you
I do

I don't need somebody to complete me
I want you to know
I give all my love but I'm not givin' all my soul

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection
I belong to me
I'm one not half of two
And if you're gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

Oh yeah

Love don't mean changing who you are to be
Who somebody wants you to be
Nobody has got to belong to nobody

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I don't belong to you
My heart is my possession
I'll be my own reflection

I belong to me
I'm one not half of two,
And if your gonna love me
You should know this baby
I belong to me

How Do I Make You Feel?

Create your own Mood-Meter

Updates & Stuff

Well another day
I started getting more hours at work
I need to get Salem fixed, flea meds, Hair dye and other needs ... I need, you get the idea.
Nothing new really same shit another day just working more hours, getting more and more tired. I do really miss being at home.
But I have my reasons.
I just hope I can last.
Last time I was working so much I got really depressed to the point of crying everyday because I was so tired and didn't wanna go to work.
After so long I get like that, don't know why probably because it's something I don't want to do, I want to be at home taking care of the house and the people I love and care about.
I don't mind working part time though.
Gah!
I gotta do this, I just need/want some help encouragement maybe I dunno.
Okay so this blog sucks
..............
anyways, city of heroes/villains time

What Kinda Post Is This??

Who knows, honestly.
I have been feeling like crap all freaken week
I guess I am wanting to vent or something
Sunday started out a good day, I didn't have to work which was great!
I sat back and relaxed with some City Of Heroes/Villians, worked on my bottoms up super group with a bunch of friends.
Monday rolled around D&D day with hubby and friends, I went to bed pretty earily Sunday night but I still couldn't get up in time for D&D.
I woke up when everyone was leaving, at this point to me it was like meh whatever. I just didn't care at this point I was still tired. I slept for over 10 hrs and I was STILL tired.
After my husband left to drop off his co-wroker I sat here for a bit then jumped into City Of Heroes again. Yeah so freaken what I play to much, bite me!
It's one of the few things thats making me happy right now, I have people that make me happy right now too, so thats a good thing too but hey it's life.
Anyways, I started and got a good team going then hubby comes home and says hes gonna go watch some tv and go to bed. That's fine he was up for almost 24 hrs he needs his rest, Ill continue playing City Of Heroes.
Just then after he goes I get a Intant Message from my cuz, my aunt passed away...
WTF!?
I didn't even know she was sick!
For the past 5 years none the less and no one told me!?
I find out a day before the furneral!
That is going to do me so much freaken good now!
If I didn't owe money on taxes I so would of went back home!
Samething happend when my aunt Joyce died, I found out a couple days before the furneral from my ex-boyfriends mom who happen to be reading the paper and called to see if I knew a Joyce. My family didn't tell me yet again! >_<
So anyways my cuz says, my parents are going to tell Grandma & Grandpa right now, they don't know yet... I ask so nice PLEASE! KEEP ME INFORMED ON HOW THEY TAKE IT!
Its been 4 days now, have I heard anything ...... NO OF COURSE NOT!
Yeah yeah your probably thinking... call... yeah OK sure its that freaking easy!
Not when I don't have a phone card and can't get out to get one just yet.
Not until I go to work tomorrow!
But anyways again...
Hubby asked me what was wrong, I replied with nothing..
I was sitting here looking at my aunt's obituary, he comes over and sees it and says I'm sorry honey and hugs me. Yeah OK thanks but I just wanna be alone.
Like I have been.
Alone!
Been doing my own thing as I have been doing.
Well Tuesday rolls around same shit another day, wake up, play city of heroes until I go to bed. Well in between house work but for the past few days i haven't' done much because I been feeling so depressed with my aunts passing and not being able to be there, Sue me for not going and doing housework!
I actually did 2 loads of laundry yesterday and the dishes that's all I felt like doing.
I don't even feel like doing anything tonight
I logged outta game and took a shower, I still feel shitty
Then to top it off that shooting this week, WTF is wrong with people!
Anyways, I'm going to talk to some friends, then go to bed.
I have to work tomorrow
As much as I don't want to because I am not in the mood to deal with people, I have to cause I know if I don't I'll get complained at or something with the words....


You only work 1-2 days a week and you can't even do that!?


Yeah okay, tell that to someone that just had a family member that died and isn't able to be there. I am trying to cope with it but it's so hard right now.

I need another cry moment, thanks for reading my rant post.

<3 Name That Tune ^_^

All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Thank God
That I..That I Finally Found You
All My Life
I Prayed For Someone Like You
And I Hope That You Feel The Same Way Too
Yes, I Pray That You Do Love Me Too

I'd Send You All That I'm Thinking Of........Baby

Said I Promise To Never Fall In Love With A Stranger
You're All I'm Thinking Of
I Praise The Lord Above
For Sending Me Your Love
I Cherish Every Hug
I Really Love You

RIP Aunt Shirley :(

I just got news yesterday from my cuz that my Aunt Shirley passed away.
Again I didn't know she was sick, the same thing happened when my Aunt Joyce passed away, I didn't even know she was sick.
With Aunt Joyce I found out from my ex boyfriends mom, at least family told me this time yes but it would of been nice to know my Aunt Shirley was sick for the past 5 years. I could of least went to visit her or something.
What sucks even more is I would LOVE to go back home for a visit right now, my cuz told me about Grandma being sick a couple months ago with Leukemia. Thing is with her age (91) they wont treat her or tell her about it. Which I can kinda understand. The doc's also believe that she will pass of old age before it takes full effect over her body.
Yesterday I was sitting here crying, wondering if my life could get any worse. Lately between everything it just gets more and more... just makes me wanna scream you know?
Well as I been told by many life will be looking up soon and I have my hopes and dreams that they will, I also have my beliefs they will. I been just so tired and not happy lately. Only thing that makes me happy at this point is playing City Of Heroes/Villains and talking with friends and doing my own thing. Work has been fun lately but meh its work.
Anyways I just had to vent a bit get things out, I know there is more but I'll leave that tucked away, I hope everyone is having a great day!

Ding! Athena Storm Hits 50!

Well On Friday The 13th Athena Storm Hit 50!
Special Thanks to All my friends that made this possible!

<3

This will be my second 50!
I Hope to have more soon, and maybe a second account!
We will see!

Emotions

Well it's Thursday night, just sitting here chatting with my best friend and trying to keep warm. Right now just feeling so emotional. I am so tired of the way my life is right now, don't get me wrong I love being at home alot and taking care of the house it's just the feelings to the people that are around me are not there. I just want to be left alone. I mean feelings are there to some but to others it feels just "meh" to me.

I want to go somewhere warm, I want to visit friends and family. Heck I dunno part of me wants a family but this isn't the time for that. I just want someone to hold me and tell me I'll be fine, that things are gonna be alright. I get those words from my friends daily over the computer and it's wonderful but... I just want someone to say it to me face to face and do that. Maybe I am to old fashioned I don't know.

I have so many things going though my mind right now, 95% of them I cant' blog because it wouldn't be fair right now to some.

... since my emotions are everywhere so is this blog >_<

DANIELLE BOLLINGER - Kiss the Sky <3

Emotion holds me captive
and it keeps me from the truth
No I don't know how I got here
but I know I'm missing you

And I know the day is coming
when I'll be back inside your arms
but as much as I believe it
that day seems so far

so I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I kiss the sky

Everytime the wind blows
I hear it call your name
and even in the darkness
I can see your face.
Every second brings my freedom
much closer into view.
So the ocean will not hold me and I'll be one with you.

5x
(and when) (so) I kiss the sky tonight
and pretend I'm by your side
and in the dark I'll feel the light
I'll be loved, I'll be loved, I'll be loved

I kiss the sky

Updates & Stuff

Well it's now Monday the 26th, wow where did time go?
Seriously, yesterday felt like the beginning of the month.
It's all good though :)
Past week or so been wonderful to hang out with a good friend of mine and play City Of Heroes, rest, relax, spend time with Scyko.
She's now doing alot better, I actually have the door open and letting her roam around she's been alright. Her tummy's been healing awesome. Going to wait until Thursday though to get the stitches out. I don't even think she remembers having the dish on her head now =oP
Other then that today was suppose to be D&D day, but not today :)
Actually pretty glad, I was getting so tired and it was wonderful to sleep in!
I slept until i think it was almost 1pm, went to bed about... 3:30am i think I can't even remember now.... But I could of slept some more but I had to get up and go to the store to get kitty litter and a few things to hold us over until Friday. So it's cool, who knows I might go back to bed soon ;)
Work was pretty good this weekend, kinda slow which was nice.
I think I've said it b4 but I wish we got commission, i would be so rich right now, hehe. But again it's all good :)
As for a trip back home, again not looking like anytime soon.
Which sucks, but I guess that's the way it's gotta be, just hope nothing happens in the mean time. Probably wont I'm sure all will be alright.
Well I am not sure what else to write, kinda just relaxing listening to Frank Sinatra, reminds me of when I lived with my grandparents as a kid, always had to fall asleep with it on and when it wasn't on I would tell grandpa or grandma to turn it on please :)
Last time I talked to grandma was a little while ago, there doing alright, still sucks they wont tell her about the cancer or treat her for it but I guess it's for the best.
Well I am going to check on a few more things then take a nap ^_^
Have a great day!

~Noire

I'm A Dork!

I can't sleep now
Scyko was wanting a bit of attention so I gave her some by scratching her ears and stuff.
It's cool, I thought I post again.
Don't know why but I was laying here Shania Twain's song " Love Gets Me Everytime " Started to play and I just had to get up and dance.
I am accually feeling better now for some weird reason about my outlook on the future.
Weird but true, I mean sure it's still scary but I am not to worried about things right now cause I don't have anything to worry about presently.
Thats why I am a dork, ive said this to myself others have said it to me, but i was just being stubborn maybe? dunno
Well time to shower and get all dolled up for work in a bit so im gonna go listen to a CD a friend bought me awhile back
Guess I am just silly but Im glad I have my best friend :)
Thank you

*dances and gets ready for work*

Edit - This doesn't mean I am now happy, just FYI

Can I Get A Ticket Please . . . .

I so need a vacation from life
I just want to take sometime away and go hang out with a friend or 2 or 3. Heh.
I want a day where I wake up when I want instead of waking up and my mind goes a mile a second cause after that happens I can't fall back to sleep. Some people I know can turn there minds off and just not worry about stuff.
I wish i could do that, I mean some days I can but others I can't.
You have guessed it.. This is kinda a rant post.
I mean there is also days I cry myself to sleep cause I am not happy
There I said it!
I miss my grandparents very much. Grandma is sick. This is the time of year I'd usually go back home for a visit but I don't think that's gonna happen anytime soon.
I would also like to take a trip to California, AZ, FL and just bunches of places to meet friends of mine from game, even those I don't talk to anymore cause I can't and it makes me really sad.
Plus with hubby working 7 days a week until who knows when .... blah ... money i know but still.
I just want what I want and need what I need and well um this is a silly post I know
But I seriously need to go take a hour nap b4 I gotta go to work
I just hope time goes by fast when I go, cause I have still been here in this room with Scyko and I really don't wanna leave her for to long by herself.
Anyways
L8R

~Noire


Edit - Another thing that makes me upset too is friends that are suppose to be your friends and stuff... that promised to keep in touch, you leave them msgs, comments then you just give up because they never return the comments or msgs and expect you not to be sad or upset or angery, or you call them a few times for a couple nights in a row and they don't answer. To me I have one best friend right now and he is a knight in shinning armor :) and my other friend who I very rarly talk to but I know shes there and shes a goddess :) I mean I have my friends In game too but these 2 stand out cause one im very close to and the other even though we don't chat we have that spiritual connection if that makes sence ;) she knows what I mean :)

What Kind Of Witch Am I ?

You are a Healing Witch!You are sympathetic and nurturing! you help creatures in need, and are always giving.

Quiz Results!

Your heart is pink. You're everyone's friend. Woo go you! Everyone loooves you!! You're the definition of a true friend, which is why you mean so much to your friends. You will do anything to see your friends smile, you have a great quality- don't change for anybody.

Updates & Stuff

Well another day is here, its been a pretty stressful week thus far. The weekend was alright though, had to work about 7 or so hours total. I really enjoy not working so much cause I can go in, sell the bath and body supplies to people then come home and relax, clean up, cook do what I need then sleep when I feel like it. As long as my stuff is getting done I don't tend to worry about much.

Although I do have alot going on in life and in my mind as it is, sometimes I just wish I could turn off alot of it and start all over again with no worries. But as they say it's life and one day those worries etc will go away :)

Anyways, as I said weekend was good, Monday was stressful due to taking Scyko in for surgery. I didn't want to take her in and put her though that but I know it was for the best :) Having a cat in heat just about 24/7 was getting very frustrating for us who knows what it was doing to her. I know that personally would drive me crazy if I was in heat that much and can't or couldn't do anything about it. After we picked her up and took her home she was a curious little monkey girl, I thought because she was still coming outta the anaesthetic (sp?) she would just hang out in the cage, nope she took off like crazy and ran! I was like ACK! Finally got her settled in the spare room, poor girl hates that dang dish on her head. I feel so bad for it too but can't have her licking her belly.

Well after getting her in the room i went to go get the litter box and food dish etc etc so she had everything she needed, she almost broke the freaking door down! She didn't wanna be by herself, hey which I can understand! So after getting everything I came and sat with her, she finally fell asleep. I then made a bed in here so I can sleep with her and keep her company since I don't have to go back to work until Saturday :) I got really board though so I moved my PC back in here, now i have a bed, Scyko, City of heroes and my friends I play and chat with. Only problem is when I'm hungry and have to leave for a few Min's she goes nuts! Last night I wanted to make food shower and get the dishes done while taking a quick break from game..... almost couldn't do it she was at it again with the door. Ahh well I finally got it all done and back in the room with her. She got happy and fell asleep :)

But that was my Monday/Tuesday. Today I woke up alot better after some good rest. Yesterday though I woke up after 3hrs rest to Scyko biting my chin and cheek waiting and wanting me to wake up. But it's all good :) I don't mind, but a good rest last night is what I needed. I got up did what I needed and started some food, shes sleeping again now so better get it done quick ;)

My plans for the rest of the day? Probably hit City Of Heroes, spend time with Scyko when she wakes up, sleep more if needed and well that's about it :) With hubby working 7 days a week until further notice I gotta amuse myself and take care of stuff somehow :)

Today is also a Wiccian Holiday for me! Happy Ostara!

March 21 -- Ostara -- Spring or The Vernal Equinox
Also known as: Lady Day or Alban Eiler (Druidic)

As Spring reaches its midpoint, night and day stand in perfect balance, with light on the increase. The young Sun God now celebrates a hierogamy (sacred marriage) with the young Maiden Goddess, who conceives. In nine months, she will again become the Great Mother. It is a time of great fertility, new growth, and newborn animals.

The next full moon (a time of increased births) is called the Ostara and is sacred to Eostre the Saxon Lunar Goddess of fertility (from whence we get the word estrogen, whose two symbols were the egg and the rabbit.

The Christian religion adopted these emblems for Easter which is celebrated on the first Sunday after the first full moon following the vernal equinox. The theme of the conception of the Goddess was adapted as the Feast of the Annunciation, occurring on the alternative fixed calendar date of March 25 Old Lady Day, the earlier date of the equinox. Lady Day may also refer to other goddesses (such as Venus and Aphrodite), many of whom have festivals celebrated at this time.

Traditional Foods:
Leafy green vegetables, Dairy foods, Nuts such as Pumpkin, Sunflower and Pine. Flower Dishes and Sprouts.

Herbs and Flowers:
Daffodil, Jonquils, Woodruff, Violet, Gorse, Olive, Peony, Iris, Narcissus and all spring flowers.

Incense:
Jasmine, Rose, Strawberry, Floral of any type.

Sacred Gemstone:
Jasper

Special Activities:
Planting seeds or starting a Magickal Herb Garden. Taking a long walk in nature with no intent other than reflecting on the Magick of nature and our Great Mother and her bounty.

Quiz' About Me ^_^

Your element is Light: Innocent, beautiful, kind-hearted and pure. You are so sweet your almost angelic! You find joy in others happiness and cannot stand to see anyone in pain. You want to make everyone around you feel good about themselves and if someone is upset you can tend to become rather upset as well which means you are sympathetic and raise others above yourself. Being as kind and good-natured as you are people have most likely hurt you in the past but you pick yourself up every time. You may look fragile but you are stronger then most tend to see. Life is beautiful no matter how you look at it and you understand that people make mistakes. Not everyone is perfect. You try to see the good in the bad which is a talent few posses. Dont ever let anyone change you. You truly have a beautiful soul inside and a heart of gold.

Updates!

Okay so I'm a bad blogger
I have not updated in awhile
BUT BUT
I have a excuse!
I been sick and to lazy to type anything so there!

Anyways, cold is finally breaking after a week and a couple days, life is pretty much the same, nothings changed as of yet. But hoping for a change soon.
Have to see what happens.
Good news the tax thing isn't as bad as I thought it would be so thats really sweet :)
Getting my one cat on monday fixed, then probably the other one since its so cheap to do, think its gonna be $85.oo for just one, thats half off thanks to the medical plan.
Lets see...
Oh finally got my controller to level 45 in City Of Heroes!
I get to see hami for the first time with her tonite!
YAY!

Um..
Not sure whatelse to write, but i need to go take some more DayQuil
So I am out :)

R.I.P Steven Grant Rogers

AKA Captain America
Legend & Hero


Feel Free To Check Out My Friends Pages To See What They Have To Say:

Pepsiman
BridgeCrew Dave
Palette

(Listed on the side bar)

My husband says:

"He will be back, he has died twice before, I am sure he will be back again"

For those of you who don't know who Steven Rogers is read below, found some information for you. (You never know, there maybe a person or 2 out there that don't know, I have ran into a couple already! o.o )




Captain America

In 1940, as America prepared for war, a frail young man volunteered for an experiment that transformed him into the ultimate physical specimen: the American Super-Soldier. Steve Rogers battled Nazis until a freak mishap placed him in suspended animation for decades. When he awakened, Rogers was truly a man out of time, though no less committed to fighting the evils of this perilous new era!

Real Name: Steven Grant Rogers

Group Affiliation: Avengers

Height: 6'2"

Weight: 240 lbs.

Eye Color: Blue

Hair Color: Blond

Powers: Enhanced by the Super-Soldier Serum, Captain America's agility, strength, endurance, and reaction time are superior to those of an Olympic-level athlete. Also, Cap has mastered a number of fighting forms, including American-style boxing and judo. These abilities, combined with his indestructible shield, make him one of the finest human combatants Earth has ever known.

Weapons: Captain America's only weapon is his Vibranium shield, a concave disk 2 ½ feet in diameter that weighs 12 pounds. The shield's exceptional aerodynamic properties enable it to slice through the air with minimal wind resistance and deflection of path. The disk's unparalleled overall durability, coupled with a natural concentric stiffness, allows it to rebound off solid objects with minimal loss of angular momentum.

History: Born at the height of the Great Depression, Steve Rogers grew up a frail youth in a poor family. Horrified by newsreel footage of the Nazis overtaking Europe, Rogers was inspired to enlist in the Army. However, his sickly nature caused him to be rejected. Overhearing the boy's earnest plea, General Chester Phillips offered Rogers the opportunity to take part in a special experiment, Operation: Rebirth. After weeks of tests, Rogers was at last administered the Super-Soldier Serum and bombarded by "vita-rays". He emerged from the treatment with a body as perfect as a body can be and still be human. His conditioning continued: Rogers was subjected to an intensive physical and tactical training program. Three months later, he received his first assignment as Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty.

From the Pacific Theater to Eastern Europe, World War II was in full swing; the United States entered the fray with Captain America as its standard-bearer. The Allied forces fought tooth-and-nail against Hitler and the Axis powers, while Cap went toe-to-toe with the Aryan elitist Red Skull, Nazi technician Baron Zemo, and a whole host of vile creatures spawned by the Third Reich. He had help from other stalwart heroes, e.g., the super-powered Invaders; Sgt. Nick Fury and his Howling Commandos (a band of soldiers made famous by their foolhardy but brave combat style), and other G.I. Joes. Cap even took on a partner in his crusade against Hitler and the Nazi scourge: a boy named Bucky Barnes.

During the waning days of WWII, a bomb-loaded drone plane launched by Baron Zemo exploded with Cap and Bucky aboard, killing the youngster and hurling his mentor unhurt into the icy Arctic. The Super-Soldier Serum prevented the crystallization of Cap's bodily fluids, allowing him to enter a state of suspended animation. Decades later—when a confused, changing world most needed a throwback hero who embodied the American ideals—he was discovered and rescued by the newly-formed Avengers, where he became a cornerstone of Earth's Mightiest Heroes.

But Cap was a man out of time: The world had gone on without him, and he no longer recognized it. This new status quo often causes Cap to question his role. For a short time, he became the hero he thought the world needed: Nomad. The apparent death of girlfriend Sharon Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent 13, reminded Cap that all people are prisoners of some manner of war—held captive not just through blood and sweat but also by beliefs and ideologies. Realizing he could not fight for a dream in which he no longer believed, Rogers again cast off the mantle of Captain America. He eventually reclaimed his heroic identity, but only to prove to the world that the American ideals are greater than the sum of any one governmental body.

Since Cap began fighting for the American Dream, he has embodied the essence of a hero. He doesn't earn a paycheck for laying his life on the line; he does it because it's the right thing to do.



© 2002 Marvel

Being Sick Sucks The Big One

Well last nite I took a short nap, I woke up with scratching feeling in my throat.
I figured I was just thirsty with a dry throat no biggie
Then it just got worse, I swear i went though almost a pack of halls, wasn't doing anything for it. I finally gave up and drank some water. Then started to get a fever, first words outta my mouth " Oh great just what I frappen need " . . .
Ah well its life, I never get sick, I very rarely do and when I do I'm sicker then sick.
I usually can catch it and get rid of it before it gets worse, if I have the right stuff laying around. Well I finally got the OJ and some fruit, but my husband forgot the throat spray and the other stuff. My bodies funny though, if I don't catch it before it gets worse, I'm totally screwed for about a week.
Oh well, that's life, Ill deal with it.

Hinder - Lips Of An Angel

Honey why you calling me so late?
It's kinda hard to talk right now.
Honey why are you crying? Is everything okay?
I gotta whisper 'cause I can't be too loud

Well, my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And, yes, I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue

Well my girl's in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice say my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

Honey why you calling me so late?

Life

First off I wanna thank my ex for writing a blog about this cause it got me thinking... Well the new year has begun as you all know, lets see . . .

Where to begin, well lets start with what I want/wanted to accomplish this year kinda like resolutions ^_^ Hm....

Well I do want to get started on my cookbook and hopeful get it published and some sold, I already made my one myspace account back into a "me" profile instead of roleplay. As most of you can see. I was thinking of putting up some recipes and what not and get some feedback etc... which I have done a couple already and got some great feedback, Ill have more soon!

As for every year I made this promise to myself and I been doing great on it and I am going to continue . . . LOOSING WEIGHT! I've lost 10 inches in my waist since last year and that makes me SO HAPPY! Just a pain cause I need to go shopping every few months for new pants LOL, but hey Im happy so it's cool! I plan to keep going, I never used to be a big girl well not BIG HUGE BIG I don't even look like a size 16 but I do wear a lot of big clothes, but anyways! I used to be a size 6 back in my day then I quit smoking and oops I gained 100lbs but it happens. Better then killing myself with smoking and frap right?

Another thing I am promising myself is to be happy remain happy blah blah you get the picture. I mean don't get me wrong I do love certian things in my life and others its like blah whatever. But the day will come where I know Ill be more happy, I just wish I knew when and stuff. But thats up to me and all. I know that and I believe we are in charge of making ourselves happy y'know?

My art work, time to dust off my hands and fingers and start practicing again!

Singing - Yes I do sing most don't hear me but I do and those who have heard me, they became speechless ^_^

City Of Heroes/villains - I been playing this game since beta, but my old bf he deleted the account he says so when I moved to the USA I restarted a new account, I finally got Mistress Noire to level 50 in July of 2005 but I been wanting/needing to get another 50 its just altitus kicks in and well great! I have more toons to play, but Im gonna have to work on another toon most def and get another 50 if not 2 ^_^ .... As most know thats happening I got my controller half way to lvl 42 as of today!

Speaking of City Of Heroes/Villians... I would love to meet some of my friends I have known for awhile, who have become great friends who I care about very much and visa versa. I don't have many friends in life but the ones I do have or have had that I can't talk to anymore that I wish i could... I don't wanna lose friends y'know. Friends are what keeps most people. At least I know it does me. Heh, I just hope that made sence. (Please note im writing this b4 work, still half asleep)

Now my ex wrote in his blog about having a second chance at life, I wish that sometimes myself. There is so much I wish i could change... such as.... When I was 18 being asked to take on apprenticeship as a chef. I turned it down cause i wanted to work for awhile.. make some money then go. Well in that time I did that.. I also met my ex, moved around a bit then we moved in together and spent 5 years together... after I went back and asked about the course they told me it was a one time offer that they didn't tell me before *sigh* Frap happens its life! I then wanted to go to school but he told me that i "Had" to work full time too. Which sucked cause I knew I couldn't do it. So at that point I gave up on my dream in life and went with the flow until we split. I wish I could of changed that about being a chef NOT his and I's relationship!

Now I have that dream of being a stay at home mom one day and be happy yadda yadda, which I know will happen one day just working for it is what I need to do In more ways then one Time tells all. As for not having a direction in life, I know that feeling about parents just saying oh get a job, you will be fine. In some cases for some yeah, but this is one reason why if you can afford it for one parent to be home DO IT! Because kids need that love and support anymore and guidence in life. Heck I still need it sometimes!

Im sure there is more I can think of... but unfort I need to get my shoes and stuff on and head to work, selling beauty supplies FTW! hahaa JK!

But part of me is scared and part of me is anxious to see what my future will bring y'know?

My Seal Of Approval

Thanks http://www.says-it.com/seal/index.php and Tiny Neut for finding this!

The Illusionist

The Illusionist

Starring:

Edward Norton ... Eisenheim

Paul Giamatti ... Inspector Uhl

Jessica Biel ... Sophie

Rufus Sewell ... Crown Prince Leopold


Just to name a few....


I Finally got to watch this movie this morning!
I absolutly LOVED it!
I knew I would, but to watch it was awesome.
Edward Norton was a hottie as always.
I wont spoil it for anyone but I have to say I give it a 10 outta 10!
I have no negitive things to say about the movie.
So I guess this will be my post
I'm just speechless

<3

Sushi

Well today I went to the local Chinese buffet
Have not gone in quite awhile, figured hey why not!
I got done with my usual stuff I eat chicken yadda yadda, then I wanted dessert. The usual there as well. Ice Cream with Oreo cookie chunks. YUM!
But on my way past the salad bar I noticed.... Sushi!
I never had it before, I am not a sea food person, I will only eat tuna out of a can if any type of sea food comes to mind that I want.
Then I remembered couple times chatting with a great friend of mine, he was eating Sushi.
We chatted about it for awhile and that's when I said to myself, One day I will try it!

So today was the day I tried it!

Well after I grabbed it I headed back to my table and starred at it for about 5Min's, poking at it. I seriously poked at it and looked at it for 5 whole Min's!
I was told, " Just eat it! "
So I picked it up, put it in my mouth and chewed, wasn't to bad at first... couldn't taste the fishy. I only could taste the seaweed it was wrapped in and the rice which i found wasn't to bad. Then I got hit with the fish taste. After another min or so I couldn't handle it.

Come to find out by researching again on Sushi after I got home... they have soy sauce that you can dunk it in and the proper way to eat it. Well today is also the day I am promising myself to try Sushi again and find out the proper way to eat it and will do that next time.

Here is a picture I found closest to the Sushi I ate, the red arrows show you which one, plus mind you the one i had didn't look like that exact, they where skimpy on the ingredients. Well until the next time I try it again, this is one thing I wanted to do marked off my list and another added!

Have a great day!
~Noire

Ever Have One Of Those People In Your Life That.....

Ever have one of those people in your life that.....

~ Just make you want to scream?
~ Stab yourself in the eye with a spork?
~ Think there all that and then some but you know they are not!
~ Think there cool just because they think so?
~ When you hear there name or voice its like nails down a chalk board
~ Only msg or comment you when they want something, or just to get snotty with you?
~ Don't keep in touch but when they do seems like again... they want something

There is just some people like that... that just drive you nuts!
Im sure there is more, my mind just drew a blank, heh!
Must be because im being destracted over here, cats being funny etc....

gotta run though, company is coming over, have a movie and stuff planned later .... post more tomorrow probably

~Noire

Posting Cause....

I just wanted to say, Hope you all are having a good day.
I was feeling like crap the other day, *grumble*
Women body things, haha!
Im feeling a bit better now, I worked my beauty selling job yesterday, man i wish we got commision I would be so rich right now. I didn't go to my restraunt job today, over slept and all. Oh well, after them screwing me on my taxes I don't want to work for them at this point, at least until I get that shit organized.
I should be getting more hours at my beauty supplies stuff anyways, told them I am open for hours sat/sun/mon/tues so we will see and stuff, those days i can get a ride to and from easy.
I need to study again for my drivers licence.
Man I just wish i knew what my future had instored for me
There is so many things I want and need in life, people I want and need in my life and just alot of things. I know there is so much work involved but it will be worth it in the end.
Well time to check the city of heroes forums
im out!

~Noire

Danielle Bollinger - You'll Always Have Me

If the world turned against you
I would stand by you and fight
for you I would crawl through fire
for you I'd lay down my life

So if you ever lose all hope
and you've fallen to your knees
I need you to remember
you'll always have me

yeah you'll always have me
and you'll always have my love
if you find it hard to breathe
I'll be the air that fills your lungs

cuz you can lose your faith
you can lose your hope
you can lose your dignity
there's one thing you can count on you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always have me

I can still remember
the first time I saw your face
cuz baby when I saw your smile
I knew I'd never be the same

and even though sometimes we struggle and sometimes we even scream
Im gonna stand by you forever
yeah you'll always have me

yeah you'll always have me
and you'll always have my love
and if you find it hard to breathe
I'll be the air that fills your lungs

cuz you can lose your faith
you can lose your hope
you can lose your dignity
but there's one thing you can count on
yeah you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always
you'll always have me ...


I really enjoy this song <3
Thank-You my dear friend
I love you

Tell Me About Yourself, The Survey

Name: Tina

Birthday: 12-07-81

Birthplace: London Ontario

Current Location: Missouri

Eye Color: bluegrey

Hair Color: Nautrally Dark Blonde - Dyed a reddish color

Height: 5'4''

Right Handed or Left Handed: right

Your Heritage: German, British, Russian, Canadian and American

The Shoes You Wore Today: my bare feets

Your Weakness: tickling

Your Fears: being alone

Your Perfect Pizza: meat and cheese! Lots of it!

Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Getting my cookbook finished, losing more
weight ... few other things

Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: eh? frap, lol, hehe, heh

Thoughts First Waking Up: Do I have to work today?

Your Best Physical Feature: I been told eyes and smile

Your Bedtime: when i feel like it

Your Most Missed Memory: Spending time with my grandparents, and my best friend

Pepsi or Coke: DEW! Its all about the dew baby!

MacDonalds or Burger King: fast food makes me sick. - ditto

Single or Group Dates: single

Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: I make my own :)

Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

Cappuccino or Coffee: half and half

Do you Smoke: no - I quit at 18 - smoked since i was 11

Do you Swear: yup I do... bad I know

Do you Sing: i do yes :)

Do you Shower Daily: yup or every other

Have you Been in Love: yes

Do you want to go to College: yes... id love to but i can't afford it

Do you want to get Married: I am..

Do you belive in yourself: I do yes somedays and somedays Im not so sure but overall, yes :)

Do you get Motion Sickness: not that im aware

Do you think you are Attractive: I been told I am but me myself... sometimes

Are you a Health Freak: far from it

Do you get along with your Parents: I consider my grandparents my parents so yes i do :)

Do you like Thunderstorms: love is a more appropriate term... - ditto

Do you play an Instrument: Keyboard & Drums .... havn't in awhile though

In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: No I havn't

In the past month have you Smoked: Nope

In the past month have you been on Drugs: No unless Midol counts, heh

In the past month have you gone on a Date: Nope

In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yeah i work there...

In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: Nope, my homemade cookies!

In the past month have you eaten Sushi: No, I don't like seafood but a good friend
of mine has talked me into trying it... one day i think i will :)

In the past month have you been on Stage: nope

In the past month have you been Dumped: no

In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: i've never skinny dipped

In the past month have you Stolen Anything: no... i haven't stolen anything since i was a kid

Ever been Drunk: quite a few times

Ever been called a Tease: yes... o.o

Ever been Beaten up: No

Ever Shoplifted: when i was like 8

How do you want to Die: i don't know, death is scary

What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Stay at home mom, author of quite a few cookbooks...

What country would you most like to Visit: Japan

In a Boy/Girl..

Favourite Eye Color: doesn't matter to me

Favourite Hair Color: doesn't matter to me

Short or Long Hair: doesn't matter to me but i do like long hair

Height: taller then me lol

Weight: doesn't matter to me

Best Clothing Style: comfortable

Number of Drugs I have taken: only percription...

Number of CDs I own: i need more.. not sure how many i have though

Number of Piercings: 4 - in my ears 2 on each side

Number of Tattoos: none

Number of things in my Past I Regret: i don't really regret anything... everything is a learning experience... ditto

My Grandparents & Leukemia

Well as most of you know from my last blog about my grandmother she has Leukemia. At this point I don't know what my emotions should be. I am happy she is back home and feeling better but then at the sametime I am sad they will not tell her. Let alone try the treatments but I guess there right since she is so weak and because of her age. So my emotions and worrys are everywhere. But I do hope by April I can go back home for a visit even though I was hoping for June but we will see what happens I guess.

I wanted to write a bit of the history of why I am so close to my grandparents, most of you know that I always been close to them. They have been more like a mom and dad to me then a grandma and grandpa. But overall they have been both. Reason why . . .
Well when I was born my mother was sick and unable to take care of me, so my father had asked my grandparents (his parents) if they can take care of me, also because my dad was a truck driver and he was never around. They agreed and raised me for 6 awesome years of my life. Those I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. I was spoiled of course because after my grandmother having 5 boys I had became her only daughter and she still thinks of me as her only daughter even to this day.

After I turned 6 my dad had met and planned to remarry to my step mom, guess though those years and being so young I didn't know about my parents split. Meh, it happens I guess. But my step mom to be had a daughter and of course I wanted to have someone to play with. So I left my grandparents and went to live with my dad and step mom to be. Little did I know about the Cinderella life that was ahead of me. But I got though it after 6 years of hell. If I could turn back time and stayed with my grandparents I sure would but at the sametime it's okay now the past is the past.

But overall over the past 25 years of my life, grandma and grandpa have always been here for me no matter what and they still are, even though I am now 900 miles away. They always said to me they will go no where until I am happy and they know I am happy.

Well time will tell eh?

~Noire

Edit.. I found out what type its called myelodysplastic syndrome

Leukemia

Well today I got news about my grandmother..
Turns out she has Leukemia, they wont even tell her.
They also said they wont even treat her for it because of her age (91) they are afraid she wont recover from the treatment cause shes already weak as it is.
I wish I could get back up home and see her
I hate being so far away...
Well I am gonna do some cleaning up and baking, get my mind off things.
Ill post more soon

~Noire

Another Day . . . .

Well another day is here, got up this morning I think it was about 6, checked msgs then went back to bed. Surprsing since I went to bed about midnight. Well the day started good, got a wake up but I just laid there, didn't wanna move. The bed was so warm and comfortable. I was still tired too so I just wanted to say, "leave me be please!" *giggle*

Well I finally got my ass outta bed moments later, frap!! it was so cold! the house was like a ice box!! I wanted to curl back up in bed but instead I ran to the bathroom and started getting ready to go, it was Dungons and Dragons day after all!! But my bed! so warm and comfortable and i had 5 cats keeping me warm! Oh well its all good! Be there again tonight!

We got over to my brother in laws, was getting ready to play and our one friend had some errends and such to do so we decided to play "Greed Quest" while waiting for him to show up, my bro in law won the first game, luck!!! luck!! I tell you!! Then second game my husband won then I finally won! Over all it was a fun and exciting game, we played a few more rounds when our friend showed up, after that our friend left he had to run to work. So I jumped up and watched my soaps "days of our lives" and "passions" while the guys went though the spell books and stuff. After all that we watched "The People's Court" then I went and played some World Of Warcraft on my bro's account while the guys rolled up another character for D&D. Then we watched Iron Man.. I think thats what it was called, then we finally called it a day because my husband had been up for almost 24hrs.

I got home was getting ready to jump into my game: City Of Heroes/Villians, while hubby went to get some sleep and I got a msg from my cuz, I hardly ever hear from them. I never hear from my family hardly EVER! But he had told me my grandma is in the hospital, she got rushed there yesterday morning. She has low blood pressure and she hasn't been eating as of late and been down with a cold. I know they just been moving alot recently too into a nursing home. Its got me worried because grandma will be 91 this May, Grandpa will be 93. I hate to worry, but I know grandma would be telling me to keep strong she will be alright, to keep my chin up and stay positive. So thats what I am gonna do, thats all I can do.

Kinda weird cause I had a feeling about this the other day.. something was happening back home...

Well Anyways... I think Im gonna make a sandwich and play CoH/V for a bit, i gotta work a few hours tomorrow so... I need to sleep at a decent time tonight I think ^_^

Imbolc

Imbolc, (pronounced "IM-bulk" or "EM-bowlk"), also called Oimealg, ("IM-mol'g), by the Druids, is the festival of the lactating sheep. It is derived from the Gaelic word "oimelc" which means "ewes milk". Herd animals have either given birth to the first offspring of the year or their wombs are swollen and the milk of life is flowing into their teats and udders. It is the time of Blessing of the seeds and consecration of agricultural tools. It marks the center point of the dark half of the year. It is the festival of the Maiden, for from this day to March 21st, it is her season to prepare for growth and renewal. Brighid's snake emerges from the womb of the Earth Mother to test the weather, (the origin of Ground Hog Day), and in many places the first Crocus flowers began to spring forth from the frozen earth.

The Maiden is honored, as the Bride, on this Sabbat. Straw Brideo'gas (corn dollies) are created from oat or wheat straw and placed in baskets with white flower bedding. Young girls then carry the Brideo'gas door to door, and gifts are bestowed upon the image from each household. Afterwards at the traditional feast, the older women make special acorn wands for the dollies to hold, and in the morning the ashes in the hearth are examined to see if the magic wands left marks as a good omen. Brighid's Crosses are fashioned from wheat stalks and exchanged as symbols of protection and prosperity in the coming year. Home hearth fires are put out and re-lit, and a besom is place by the front door to symbolize sweeping out the old and welcoming the new. Candles are lit and placed in each room of the house to honor the re-birth of the Sun.

Another traditional symbol of Imbolc is the plough. In some areas, this is the first day of ploughing in preparation of the first planting of crops. A decorated plough is dragged from door to door, with costumed children following asking for food, drinks, or money. Should they be refused, the household is paid back by having its front garden ploughed up. In other areas, the plough is decorated and then Whiskey, the "water of life" is poured over it. Pieces of cheese and bread are left by the plough and in the newly turned furrows as offerings to the nature spirits. It is considered taboo to cut or pick plants during this time.

Various other names for this Greater Sabbat are Imbolgc Brigantia (Caledonni), Imbolic (Celtic), Disting (Teutonic, Feb 14th), Lupercus (Strega), St. Bridget's Day (Christian), Candlemas, Candlelaria (Mexican), the Snowdrop Festival. The Festival of Lights, or the Feast of the Virgin. All Virgin and Maiden Goddesses are honored at this time.

Deities of Imbolc:
All Virgin/Maiden Goddesses, Brighid, Aradia, Athena, Inanna, Gaia, and Februa, and Gods of Love and Fertility, Aengus Og, Eros, and Februus.

Symbolism of Imbolc:
Purity, Growth and Re-Newal, The Re-Union of the Goddess and the God, Fertility, and dispensing of the old and making way for the new.

Symbols of Imbolc:
Brideo'gas, Besoms, White Flowers, Candle Wheels, Brighid's Crosses, Priapic Wands (acorn-tipped), and Ploughs.

Herbs of Imbolc:
Angelica, Basil, Bay Laurel, Blackberry, Celandine, Coltsfoot, Heather, Iris, Myrrh, Tansy, Violets, and all white or yellow flowers.

Foods of Imbolc:
Pumpkin seeds, Sunflower seeds, Poppyseed Cakes, muffins, scones, and breads, all dairy products, Peppers, Onions, Garlic, Raisins, Spiced Wines and Herbal Teas.

Incense of Imbolc:
Basil, Bay, Wisteria, Cinnamon, Violet, Vanilla, Myrrh.

Colors of Imbolc:
White, Pink, Red, Yellow, lt. Green, Brown.

Stones of Imbolc:
Amethyst, Bloodstone, Garnet, Ruby, Onyx, Turquoise.

Activities of Imbolc:
Candle Lighting, Stone Gatherings, Snow Hiking and Searching for Signs of Spring, Making of Brideo'gas and Bride's Beds, Making Priapic Wands, Decorating Ploughs, Feasting, and Bon Fires maybe lit.